After
So, it’s the morning after. And ya know what? I’m kind of proud to do this walk of shame. Because in all honesty, there’s no shame here. In fact, I was blown away by my date … with 78 other bloggers yesterday! In case you missed it, BlogSecret debuted here yesterday. There were almost 80 of us bloggers who got organized enough to participate. And I think we nailed it!
But, being the morning after, it’s a time for reflection. And I start with the feel-good I had about our wedding. And how relaxed and refreshed I felt after our honeymoon. And if you didn’t know it before, you know it now – I’m a planner. So when the craziness of the wedding was no longer, my brain went into active overdrive. What’s next?
I really can’t tell you WHY I thought of BlogSecret. It really wasn’t about having my own secret that I was dying to tell. In fact, after reading everyone else’s secrets, I think mine came across quite bland. But, I rather think I wanted a reason to connect with others. I’m not sure why it manifested itself in something so serious. But, out came BlogSecret. And let me tell you, I continue to be surprised on this here little journey we took.
First, I was so impressed that bloggers I know (some virtually, others in real life) were prepared to put their secrets in my hands. At first, I thought they’d go secret-light knowing I’d read what they had to say. But, I promise you, they didn’t. In fact, a number of really hard-hitting secrets came from them. They trusted me with some of the darkest times in their lives.
Then, I was surprised by the outpouring of strangers. Bloggers from all corners of the earth came calling to participate. And that, my friends, deserves HUGE props. It goes to show the strength in this here social networking web in which we weave. I mean, I was amazed to see how many degrees removed some of these bloggers were from my blog … and the call of BlogSecret on some of your blogs brought them to me.
Not only did social networking lead them to my blog. But, they too, were willing to trust me with their innermost secrets. Again, these were hard-hitting posts. They came from the heart. These bloggers trusted a complete stranger with their livelihood. Who’s to say this author of SoMi wouldn’t expose each and every one of them? How would they know? But, something in them said, do it.
I was shocked at the number of participants. Originally, I think 90 people expressed interest. In the end, I hosted 79 bloggers. And that, my friends, was no easy feat to organize. I gave myself a headache thinking about how to *randomly* assign submissions to host blogs. And then I actually had to keep it all straight. Lordy, it took me many hours … but …
The quality of the secrets? Oh. My. God. Made it so very worthwhile! Everything from rape to incest to adultery to financial ruin to crime and so on. People exposed themselves in some of the most raw writing I’ve read in a long time. People took time to think about what they were saying. In many of the posts, I felt like I was sitting next to the person. I cried. More than once. It was so bittersweet to read each and every secret. Because I felt awful about some of the things authors have experienced and are still experiencing. But then, I soared knowing the blogosphere provides a venue to let it all out. What a relief. For all of us.
And yet, my shock and awe didn’t stop there. No really! The outpouring of comments you left on each other’s blogs! From fellow BlogSecret participants. And blog readers who were unable to participate. This community is amazing. Because you all took what was in front of you seriously. You gave your input from the heart. You were sensitive to how vulnerable people might feel knowing their secret was out there. I heard of very few attempts to try to match blogger to secret. You focused on what was important. And you showed compassion when you reached out.
Late yesterday, I exchanged a few emails with Katie from Don’t Call Me Kathleen. She put up a poignant post-BlogSecret post about her reflections. We are all survivors. Later in that same post, she wrote a few sentences that echo my sentiments exactly. So, instead of rephrasing, I give you her words:
I have always worn the fact that I blog proudly. I love getting to know new people, and giving my two cents about things. I love getting people’s two cents as well. I never knew what a good thing a group of people could do for each other. As I reached out to people, they reached out to me. We all had another hand to hold today. I have never been more proud to be a blogger than I am right now. I actually feel that I made a difference. You all made a difference.
The power of the blogging community has yet to cease amazing me. I can promise you I never once expected BlogSecret to turn into something at all. Let alone something that matters. Thanks to all of you for making it the success that it was. I now need a few days to digest all that I’ve read. And maybe spend a little time with Sweets, who has been sorely ignored.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
The posts were absolutely amazing. It was such a moving day for the blogosphere as a whole.
Congratulations on a job well done and thanks for giving us all the chance to breathe a little easier.
November 19th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
I unfortunately, did not get through all the secrets, but your after post made me think of something similar. As you know, I work with teen moms, along with several other “older” (not teen) women. Often these teens look at us and think we are “perfect” and there is no way we can even imagine some of the things they’ve gone through. But then on two nights last year we all told our stories, our testimonies. I really just laid it out there for these girls as did all the other women. I was shocked and saddened by some of the things the other women had been through. And at the end rejoiced that we had all survived and were made better people because if it all. And the girls were surprised. That we weren’t perfect and that we had all gone through various hardships. Similar to some of theirs. And suddenly we were a lot closer.
So, good job and great idea on your blog secrets. I hope it helped the blog community realize that everyone goes through some hardships. And I hope everyone comes out of them a better, stronger person.
November 19th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Amen to you and to Katie’s response.
It was amazing to go through everyone’s blogs, to “meet” other bloggers and to see so much emotion served up.
Now all of this begs the question: when can we do this again?
November 19th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Job well done Nilsa! Honestly. Yesterday was an extraordinary day knowing that people were sharing such a deep part of themselves. I hope to write my own “after” post later today. Thank you again for organizing this!
November 19th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
It’s true the honesty and community that gave back to this, was overwhelming. I’ll participate next time.
You did something amazing!
Kudos!
November 19th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Nilsa, I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for organizing this. It really was an EVENT. But beyond that, it was this amazing and special way for all these people to connect…and maybe even get some release.
So what do you have planned for us next, my dear?
November 19th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Thanks again for doing this Nilsa! It really was so well organized and so amazing how many people participated.
Well done!
November 19th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
I am so sad that I didn’t get the time to get my post in and participate. This was an amazing idea and I’m so thankful to you for doing it.
November 19th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
huh, survivors -- i never thought of it like that.
November 19th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
All credit for organizing this mammoth “experience” goes to you! Can just imagine what a uphill task it must have been to randomly assign posts to each blogger but you made it happen!
And in the process we all came a little closer to each other, literally from all over the globe (my feedjit has hits from places I haven’t even heard of like Stoke-on-Trent?!).
This really is the power of blogging. And your buzzwords aren’t lost on us either -- Learning. Exposing. Sharing. -- that’s exactly what we all did.
November 19th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
I’m still making my way through the list of secrets, but I am amazed at how much people have been holding on to. Having this opportunity to share some of the things that have been haunting them hopefully has given many bloggers some peace of mind and some genuine feedback they need. Thanks again for organizing this!
November 19th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Thank you Nilsa! I would love to do this again. You are a great organizer and all of the bloggers were so amazing. Go BlogSecret!
November 19th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
If you decide to do this again, I will have to make time to participate.
Amazing job you did, putting all of this together.
November 19th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
I feared losing my job because I was so into reading all of the secrets (not really -- but I got very little work done!). Good job organizing it! I’ll participate if there is another one, and I’ll make sure to actually read the directions first :)
November 19th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
I spent all day trying to match secrets to bloggers…
but it was pretty much impossible.
job well done.
November 19th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
What I just wrote on my blog about BlogSecret probably comes off as I didn’t enjoy it..but, I did. These posts came at a time when I needed reminding that we’re all human and life is messy. No matter how perfect some people seem on the outside, everyone faces their own set of issues.
Thanks for organizing, chica :)
xoxo
November 19th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
I read as many as I could yesterday and plan to read more today. I found many kindred spirits there.
November 19th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
the whole thing was a complete sucess. what a hit! thank you for all your hard work with it all my friend. can’t wait for the second edition!
November 19th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Thanks again for putting it together! I read every one, and was just blown away. This community rocks!
November 19th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Thank YOU, Nilsa. This was an awesome experience. And whenever you’re ready to host a full-time “secret” blog where we can submit more of our deep, dark thoughts, let me know!
November 19th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
It was wonderful to see that no one bashed my hosted secret. Opinions, even contrary ones, were very carefully considered and usually thoughtfully phrased.
I was more interested in protecting HER post from harm than I was worried about what people would say about mine. I didn’t have to delete any of the comments you guys left. Not one.
Did anyone else experience that?
November 19th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
It was wonderful to see that no one bashed my hosted secret. Opinions, even contrary ones, were very carefully considered and usually thoughtfully phrased.
I was more interested in protecting HER post from harm than I was worried about what people would say about mine. I didn’t have to delete any of the comments you guys left. Not one.
Did anyone else experience that?
November 19th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
That was a pretty big deal. You’ve had a lot of big deals lately. You need to just chill a while before your head explodes.
Just sayin.
November 19th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
I spent way too much time reading all those secrets yesterday.
I tried to go home and explain it to my non-blogging friends, but nobody really got it.
SUPER AWESOME idea, Nilsa!
November 19th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Like Matt, I also tried to match bloggers to the posts. I only “knew” a few participating bloggers though.
I read some marvelous entries yesterday and I sort of want to know who the author is only so I can read what other stuff they write about.
Great work doing all this Nilsa. You deserve some nice evening out with Sweets or some hugs for your efforts.
November 19th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Such a wonderful social experiment you pulled together, my dear. I went through every single one of them. It felt dishonest not to.
I will probably be writing my own form of response soon…
November 19th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Nilsa:
As I said yesterday, thanks for your hard work. It was a truly eye opening experience, in addition to shedding some less than happy burdens we all carry around on a regular basis.
Enjoy time with Sweets, you deserve it.
November 19th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
I’m really bummed I missed out on this…i could have used the outlet! I hope you do it again some time!
November 19th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Such a great idea, the posts were beautiful, painful & so inspiring. I can't wait for the next installment, I will definitely be signing up! Great job getting everything organized!
November 19th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Thanks for all the hard work you put in! The secrets were moving and thought-provoking.
November 19th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Thank you so much for hosting this, it was a really interesting experiment! Blogging reveals a tiny little slice of yourself, and having an exercise that rips open that image control was really astonishing.
Thank you so much!
November 19th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Thank you so much for hosting this, it was a really interesting experiment! Blogging reveals a tiny little slice of yourself, and having an exercise that rips open that image control was really astonishing.
Thank you so much!
November 19th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I know it was a lot of work for you to put together but it really turned out to be an awesome event! I was so moved by the comments that I read as well and by the secrets that people shared.
November 19th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Nilsa,
I am so amazed by and proud of you for organizing BlogSecret. It was truly incredible. I also cried reading some of the posts. People wrote so rawly; the stories were so honest, so beautiful, so human.
I love that the blogosphere can bring us together like this. This is why I blog, to share and to learn about others.
Thank you, Nilsa!
November 19th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
It was amazing reading yesterday! Are you going to do this on an annual basis?
November 19th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
You are awesome for doing this. What’s your next project going to be?
November 19th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
I’m so participating next time. Thanks so much for organizing it. Maybe a bi-yearly thing?
November 19th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
It was a great event. I love events like this. I’ve never participated in an anonymous secret sharing blogging event, but I still feel like I get to participate in people’s catharsis, and I can relate to so many people’s secrets. Thanks for hosting this!
November 19th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
i was so blown away by it!! i didn’t participate because i didn’t think i really had anything secret i needed or wanted to get out at the moment… and i’m sort of glad i did bow out, because whatever i came up with would definitely not have been as powerful as everything i read yesterday (and am still reading!)
amazing job setting it all up and getting it all to work!!
November 19th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
Nilsa you were amazing organizing this. It went off without a hitch. You did such a good thing letting us all vent!
Thank you!
November 19th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
I am a not a blogger, but I read a lot of blogs hoping to have my own one day. I stumbled across BlogSecret just by chance and couldn’t be more grateful (although my productivity at work surely suffered). I am just blown away by the sincerity and raw honesty that each person dedicated to their post, but most of all, by the fact that we all have our secrets, and you have found a way to make it OK to share them.
Thank you for such a moving experience and the inspiration to not be ashamed of who I am and the secrets that I keep. I am left with tingles and tears, but will always remember this moment.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Thank you SO much for creating and organizing this. It was a FABULOUS opportunity, and I LOVED it! I know it was a ton of work, but I think we all (secret sharers and readers alike) all got something out of this experience. I was blown away by everyone’s response.
Yay! So thank you so much Nilsa. You are amazing!
November 19th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
I read every single post. Some made me cry, some made me cringe, some made me laugh. But I read every one. I didn’t comment on all: some I commented anonymously. But no matter what, I felt like it was a good experience, and something I’d definitely do again.
November 19th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
I’m still wading through all the secrets, but clearly we all rock! The secrets were so amazing, the truth so naked. And then the comments -- so supportive and helpful!
Even if you don’t know where the inspiration came from, I’m glad you found it Nilsa, because it was an awesome experience.
November 19th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
I can't thank you enough for this. Really. It was an awesome experience and I really hope that you do it again next year.
I wasn't able to get through every secret (I'm still working on it, I want to read them all!) but the outpour of emotion was amazing. The responses to my secret and even to the one I was hosting really meant a lot and it made me realize that no one is ever alone.
Once again, you did an amazing job and thanks for the opportunity to participate. <3
November 20th, 2008 at 1:43 am
I thought it was a great idea and very well organized and executed. Go you! I also thought a lot of the entires were amazing at how personal they were.
November 20th, 2008 at 6:13 am
I’m still wading my way through all of the secrets, but I LOVED this. Can it be an annual thing? Semi-annual? Monthly? :) You’re awesome for organizing this. My secret was not one of the deepest or darkest, but it felt really good to get it off my chest. Thanks for that too.
November 20th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Thanks so much for doing this! It was absolutely incredible getting to read everyone’s secrets and everyone’s wonderful comments on my secret. Thanks for all the work sorting it out! You’re the best!
November 20th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Read your comment-- I read (and commented) on the person’s blog who was talking about being bashed for her secret (after posting, I finished reading all of them around 12 last night). I also think I know which one was her based on the comments and it’s really too bad. Everyone has a right to their feelings and it was definitely not fair for her to get that response.
November 20th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Read your comment-- I read (and commented) on the person’s blog who was talking about being bashed for her secret (after posting, I finished reading all of them around 12 last night). I also think I know which one was her based on the comments and it’s really too bad. Everyone has a right to their feelings and it was definitely not fair for her to get that response.
November 20th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
these secrets are amazing. just amazing. and if you do it again, then i have to be a part of it. i think i’ll have the courage to actually post this time. :)
November 26th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
I am really bummed that I missed out. I think I was informed about it a bit too late and then my computer was giving me issues. From what I read on some blogs it looked like an amazing experience.
Are you going to do blogsecret again? I think you should.
November 26th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
I am really bummed that I missed out. I think I was informed about it a bit too late and then my computer was giving me issues. From what I read on some blogs it looked like an amazing experience.
Are you going to do blogsecret again? I think you should.