Pants
Remember when I was sick for six weeks. Yeah, well not only did that upper respitory crap kill any thoughts I had of running the half marathon this coming weekend, but it also killed my workout routine (3x per week plus one long run on the weekend). It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve been better, but I’m still not back to working out the same. Not yet at least.
And that brings me to this ongoing frustration. Namely, I’m growing out of my clothes. It puts me in a foul mood. Seriously foul mood. Anytime Sweets sees me out of sorts, it’s more than likely because I can’t find anything to wear. And I’m not normally that kind of girl. Normally, I pick one outfit from the closet and I’m good to go. So, you know I’m having issues when I have piles of clothes all over the house, mostly out of frustration that I don’t feel comfortable in any of them.
I exchanged a few emails with Sizzle related to this topic. She’s struggled with her weight and body image for years. Some of her words hit home:
I’ve always fought with my body so it just seems “normal” to me to be at odds with it. Getting older does a number on our bodies, that’s for sure. I certainly can’t recover from drinking like I used to! At some point I think, whether it’s emotional stuff or physical stuff, we have to accept the changes that have occurred and try to love ourselves as is. Not give up or keep trying for healthy but not beat ourselves up either. Sometimes, as morbid as this is, I think: When I come to die will THIS really matter?
And that’s so true. Will it really matter if I was 10 or 20 pounds heavier that what I thought was my ideal weight? The answer is NO. That is, it won’t matter unless I let it. It was just that simple. For now, I need to buy different clothes. Clothes that fit my body today, not that fit my body the way I want it to look months down the road.
In my head, I heard Stacy and Clinton telling me to buy clothes that fit. Don’t focus on the sizes. Buy clothes that fit. I tried doing that last week. At Loehmann’s and Marshalls. And became frustrated. Because, on a good day, they have huge selections of name-brand styles. But also, they have often limited sizing in each. I wound up buying a shirt that day. Fail.
So, earlier this week, I decided to go back to the basics. Back to a store I haven’t shopped at in YEARS. I seriously think it’s been a decade since I last went to the Gap. But, I know they have a huge range of styles and always have lots of stock in each. I took an early lunch so as not to run into any crowds. And pretty much had the store to myself.
I skipped the size I thought I was last. And went up one size. And another size. I wasn’t bashful. I picked pants I thought would fit. For me, my problem area (even when I was a skinny minny) is my thighs. Perfect fit in the thighs means at least 2 sizes too big in the waist. But, I kept listening to Stacy and Clinton, who told me to get pants that fit and tailor what’s too big.
And you know what? I tried on probably 15 different pairs of pants. Different styles. Different sizes. Different colors. I found four pairs that fit. Really well. Two pairs are even ready to wear. At least two of them make my ass look great. And one of those pairs was on sale. Oh yeah and I might have also found a really cute summer jacket and on-sale cardigan (in black) even though I was supposed to only be looking for pants.
I’m feeling better already. Like I’m excited about spring. Like I’ll be able to travel to Indianapolis and New York over the next couple weeks and not feel out of sorts with my wardrobe. Like I’ll be able to slowly add to this start with cute shoes and tops. Like I’ll actually look good in my own clothes for the first time in a number of years. I’m kind of excited. Can you feel it?
April 30th, 2009 at 7:05 am
Glad you were able to find some things that not only fit but will also make you feel good wearing them. I personally love the GAP. Sometimes it’s hit or miss as far as tops go but I always know I’ll be able to find pants there. And, often they are on sale!
April 30th, 2009 at 7:05 am
I need to do the exact same thing. I’m not the 165lb guy I used to be…too much beer and BBQ.
April 30th, 2009 at 7:23 am
I am in a similar boat Nilsa. Before our trip I tried on a dress and my shorts and realized (the DAY before our trip) that skin tight clothes were not going to work. So I ran out for an emergency shopping trip and I’m glad I did. I don’t feel good about my body. I know I’ve let it go, but the shopping trip also got me in gear (as did all the hardbodies on South Beach) to get back in shape.
Enjoy the new clothes and enjoy life including your desires to get in better shape too, if that is what you choose.
April 30th, 2009 at 7:29 am
I finally accepted a year ago that I needed to buy bigger clothes that fit my body. I felt so ashamed at first, but then realized how much better I felt in the long run, by wearing things that weren’t too tight. I am happy you are feeling excited and better about it!
April 30th, 2009 at 7:55 am
Yeah for clothes that fit! Seriously, once I resigned myself to getting my pants tailored, the world was my oyster.
April 30th, 2009 at 8:17 am
You are going throught the same dilema that I am. It is hard to realise that your body is changing shape. I am in need of a good shopping trip but sadly it will have to wait. I am going to focus on the gym and maybe I can wok my butt off!
April 30th, 2009 at 8:35 am
I think Sizzle is right — its not going to matter when we die what size we are/were. What matters is that we have fun, enjoy life as fully as possible and love ourselves for who we are, not what we look like. I’ve stuggled with self image for a long time and finally I’ve just learned to embrace who I am. I am working on losing weight and becoming healthier but I am also happy with myself at the end of the day.
April 30th, 2009 at 8:56 am
Go you! Pants that fit are awesome!
April 30th, 2009 at 9:13 am
Very cute! The Gap never lets me down when I’m on a hunt for some good basics!
April 30th, 2009 at 9:14 am
PS- Neither does the sale rack at Banana. Everything there always goes on sale.
April 30th, 2009 at 9:19 am
The clothing issue is an across the board one this spring, i see… For me, I have to constantly remind myself that what I think my ideal weight is is actually the weight I was when I was 19. That is completely unreasonable, and I have to remember that I am a woman now, and that I cannot have a child’s body.
I’m glad you were able to find things that fit! Don’t you just feel gorgeous when you have good clothes?
In totally unrelated news, I had a dream that G and I showed up at your house with a bottle of wine and no intention of leaving for like a week, and you and Sweets totally let us in and were very gracious about unexpected houseguests. I would never do such a thing, but it was pretty funny.
April 30th, 2009 at 9:31 am
That’s awesome that you found items that fit AND are comfortable! I bought a pair of capri’s last week that are one size up from what I used to wear and ya know, I’m still not ok with that, but I’m dealing with it and not totally beating myself up about it…. baby steps!
April 30th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Miss Nilsa: As always your posts make me a) feel better and b) inspire me. I haven’t done my workouts the same since the wisdom teeth surgery. As a matter of fact I just got clearance last week to go to the gym but I haven’t done it yet. I feel crappy and in a foul mood because I crave exercise but my body is just so darn tired lately. But you are right; what matters is what we make of things, not the way things are. So I am either going to get back into my gym routine and love it or just shut up, realize I’m making my own decisions and move forward.
Oh, and I love the Gap. I haven’t been there in at least a year but when I do go in I fall in love with everything =)
Thanks again for being such a positive spirit and full of great ideas and energy. Your writing as always helps me!
April 30th, 2009 at 9:42 am
it’s all about feeling good in what you’re wearing. glad you were able to find some new staples!
April 30th, 2009 at 9:50 am
If sizes actually meant anything, they wouldn’t vary so much from brand to brand! Be gentle with yourself--you’ll get your routine back soon enough. In the meantime, enjoy rocking those new pants!
April 30th, 2009 at 9:51 am
This is great, and I’m glad you have such a healthy attitude about all this. Also, nobody will ever know the number on the tag but you.
I heart Stacy and Clinton. Like, I’m considering buying a bunch of hideous clothes at Goodwill just so I can get on that show.
April 30th, 2009 at 9:52 am
I’ve always said Sizzle is a smart and gorgeous lady!
I think a big part of it is finding clothes that fit you, make you feel comfortable and look good on you. All of our bodies vary so much at various stages in our lives that we always need to go out and find new styles/clothes that fit us just right.
Just remember as long as you are safe, healthy and happy, everything is good. :)
April 30th, 2009 at 9:58 am
I’ve always struggled with the size thing…like, when I gain weight I refuse to buy double-digit sizes, and then I feel awful and yucky when I can’t fit into any of my clothes and have nothing to wear.
Now, as you read on my blog, most of my normal size 8s are too big! But, I don’t want to run out and buy 6s, because knowing me I won’t be able to fit into them later! It’s so effed up!
I mean…it’s just a number. But not.
Anyway, I’m going to take a cue from you and march over to the Banana outlet for some new things ;)
April 30th, 2009 at 10:00 am
Being six foot tall, any trip to the mall to look for clothes ends in tears and an intense desire to get very, very drunk.
April 30th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Oh, I love Gap so much! Particularly because they have pants that fit shorties like me. I’m only sad that they might not stay in business due to the economy … then where will we go???
April 30th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Oooooh, I want cute pants! Gap pants are never long enough for me, but these look quite fetching. I may have to give them a chance.
xox
April 30th, 2009 at 10:48 am
My daughter was kind of upset to go up a size last year. She isn’t overweight, but she is heavier for her size than my other daughter or I are. She was kind of freaking out that she wears the same size as me but is several inches shorter than me and is only 11 until I reminded her that no one has any idea what size clothes you are wearing. In fact, if you wear things that fit, most people probably won’t notice at all. You only really notice what someone is wearing when it doesn’t fit correctly.
It makes me sad that people have to feel like a bigger size is “worse” than a smaller one. It shouldn’t be that way at all. Our society really messes up womens heads on this one and it seems that no matter what size a woman is she always seems to have issues with it. Sad. And I have no idea what to do to fix it.
I have met you and you are beautiful. Those new pants are awesome and I hope that in combination with the wise Ms. Sizzle being such a good friend helps you feel better about everything!
April 30th, 2009 at 11:20 am
I am a big girl, and struggling with clothes is awful. Since I have dropped some weight, everything in my closet fits, and it TOTALLY changes my demeaner. Mr. P wants to run to Target…give me one sec, I will throw on something cute. Used to be, I have NOTHING to wear so go without me.
I am so glad you went and got clothes that fit, damned be all the sizers. Who cares? If you feel good, that is all that matters.
April 30th, 2009 at 11:20 am
I loathe shopping for pants. LOATHE.
But I have to say that I usually find what I need and what fits nicely at The Gap. They really know how to cover an ass.
April 30th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
I hate shopping for pants. I am very pear-shaped so anything that fits over my hips is 4 sizes too big in the waist. I do not love it.
April 30th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I want to marry Stacy and Clinton. I love them and spend many a Friday night in their company. Sizzle is right about accepting things the way they are. Not only do I look at my body sometimes now and think “Whose is that?” I look at my face and see lots of lines cracking its surface. But with the lines and the tummy flub come life experiences.
Very cute GAP picks, by the way!
April 30th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
I recently found a pair of pants there that fit me really well and it’d been YEARS since I shopped there, too.
I totally know what you’ve been feeling, and I am glad you vocalized it!
April 30th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
The fit of a pair of pants can make or break an outfit. I’m all over the alternations. Every pair I get has to be taken up and also cinched in at the waist. Congrats on your new trousers! Wear them in good health.
April 30th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
I truly believe in flaunting what you got!
I spent too many years wearing baggy clothes that didn’t fit to hide the body I didn’t like.
Now I’m pregnant, am 35 pounds heavier, and proudly wear fitted clothes that show off my big ol’ belly. It’s been freeing!
April 30th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
The point is to be happy, thin is just a bi-product of it. You’re beautiful as is.
Glad you found some new clothes to make you feel pretty!
April 30th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
i’m glad you came out happy in the end! i hate shopping for pants, too.
April 30th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Clothes that fit are a good thing! Good for you. I’m glad you are starting to feel better.
And I love the GAP. Their clothes seem to fit me, so I just grab my size and go.
April 30th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
That’s so great. Glad you found some cute clothes. Very inspiring post.
April 30th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
You will get back to your exercise ways soon. In the meantime, wearing clothes that fit is MUCH better than walking around with a muffin top, camel toe, or something else. :-)
April 30th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
i’m glad you fell into the gap. it’s standard and classic.
you done good.
May 1st, 2009 at 10:10 am
Daniel thinks it’s silly that I insist on keeping “fat” clothes and “skinny” clothes. It makes perfect sense to me… I can feel “eh” when I look in the mirror, but if I put on pants that are too small and have nothing else to go to, I feel a thousand times worse. So I keep them all. The skinny ones to aspire to and the fat ones for… when life happens. :-)
P.S. I know *so many* women, myself included, who have the thigh/waist issue with pants. You’d think someone would be smart enough to make pants just for us. Think of all the money they’d make!
May 1st, 2009 at 11:01 am
Yay for successful shopping trips! I hope you got out with minimal credit card offers. I’ve lost patience with shopping because I’m so tired of hearing “Do you want to apply for a credit card and save 10%? Are you sure? Sure?”
On the clothes thing…I think we get way too wrapped up in the numbers. I’m trying to ignore the number and convince myself it really doesn’t mean anything. For one, it’s not any kind of standard; but it’s really not representative of size either. Someone can be a size 12 and have a beautiful figure, and a size four could have a few extra pounds to lose. It’s just all about how you carry it and what makes you comfortable. Or, that’s what I keep telling myself ;-)
May 1st, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Wow, I’m proud of you for accepting your body as is. I don’t think I’ve gotten there yet. I think Sizzle is right, we need to accept that with time our body changes and we need to learn to be happy with that. But right now I’m borderline obsessed with losing the 5-7 pounds I’ve gained since December, so that I can look good in a bikini again. Ridiculous, I know but be it a cultural thing (physical beauty is an obsession in Venezuela) or personal, I can’t seem to get over it yet.
Your new clothes look great and I’m sure you’ll look awesome in them! : )
May 2nd, 2009 at 11:15 am
I give you a lot of credit for accepting your body as-is because I’m struggling with mine a lot right now. It is tough to realize you just grow out of clothes and not necessarily in a bad way. It’s a hard reality to accept and move on with. I hate trying on pants at stores, but I do what I can to find one pair I like and buy two of them :)
May 7th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
I’m in the same exact position! I’ve started eating better and actually going to the gym lately and I love how I feel, but nothing has “changed” yet. I don’t want to spend the money on the clothes for how I look right now, since things aren’t fitting as great like they used to, but I really don’t have the money either. Frustrating. And yes, I can tell you are excited, which is fabulous :)