Transitions
Per yesterday’s post, I had the opportunity to eat dinner with and hear a speech by California Congresswoman, Jackie Speier. She survived the Jonestown Massacre, though had to recover from several gunshot wounds. Since that time, she’s had an interesting political career, climbing the ranks of California state politics and finally entering the national political scene a couple years ago.
Towards the end of the evening, well after her speech, one of the announcers said Ms. Speier would be available in the lobby to sign copies of her book, a book about women overcoming struggles. I had a moment of pause. My ears perked up. Because, while my reading has definitely fallen off the cliff in recent years, I used to read much more. And my favorite books were fictious in nature, but always about people overcoming challenges. Beating the odds. Figuring out a way to make things work.
And so, I left Sweets in the dust in order to stand in line. First, to buy the book. Second, to get her signature. After I bought the book, I had to laugh. Because the name of the book? This Is Not the Life I Ordered. Is shared with this lovely blog
. And I’m pretty sure Ashley has made mention on her blog before that *someone* stole the name of her blog for a book.
Well, that someone is actually four women, one of whom is Jackie Speier. As I began reading the book last night, I thought of many of you. Because these four women banded together at a kitchen table. A decade ago. On a monthly basis since then. Over friendship. To discuss life. The ups. The downs. And everything inbetween. To discuss new beginnings. Transitions. And closure. Men. Babies. School. Business. Life.
I questioned why would four women, not experts, be in a position to write a book that would influence me? Because you know what? We don’t always need expert advice to get us through tough times. The psychobabble is helpful sometimes. But, most times, we just need the listening ear of a friend. The helpful hand of a kind stranger to get us across the street. And that’s what these women did for one another. What they continue to do for one another.
Each chapter of the book has a suggestion. For example, the first chapter says, Convene a gathering of kitchen table friends. The idea is you need a group of women who will listen to you. Be open to what you’re saying. Give you advice. Not be judgemental. But, not be afraid to disagree. Show sensitivity to your situation. We all need a kitchen table of friends. Offhand, can you name yours?
I’m excited to read this book. Because even though I’m not necessarily feeling down. Or troubled. Or in any major transition. I feel there will be solid lessons to learn for the day when I do face challenges again. I am already pretty sure I will be gifting this book to at least one friend. Going through a difficult spot in life. And I have a feeling many of you might find this read interesting. If you do, buy it and let me know what you think!
June 30th, 2009 at 7:54 am
I think I may just have to buy it. Sounds interesting!
I can definitely think of my table of friends offhand. More than four actually. Unfortunately they are spread out in the US and some on other continents.
June 30th, 2009 at 8:18 am
I really want to read this book now. Thanks! Its not a book I probably would have picked up. As for kitchen table friends? While I do have a few, when you wrote this ” The idea is you need a group of women who will listen to you. Be open to what you’re saying. Give you advice. Not be judgemental. But, not be afraid to disagree. Show sensitivity to your situation.” its sort of how I feel about blogging and the friends I’ve made through my blog. While we may not be sitting around a kitchen table, I value your (and some of my other close blogger friends) opinions as much as I value my real life friends thoughts.
Bottom line, I must read this.
June 30th, 2009 at 8:20 am
Let me know what you think about it when you are done! I always seem to have one or two friends at a time around the table, but never a small group. That would be nice (without kids around).
June 30th, 2009 at 8:21 am
I like the idea of kitchen table friends, it really bonds women and helps them feel not so alone when dealing with issues and problems.
I will have to pick up the book!
June 30th, 2009 at 8:32 am
How awesome that it has the same name as Ashley’s blog.. I think I’ll pick this one up!
June 30th, 2009 at 8:43 am
That book sounds pretty cool. I may have to get that!
June 30th, 2009 at 8:57 am
I have kitchen table friends but they live all over the place. Can I do a conference call? ;-)
June 30th, 2009 at 9:09 am
Kitchen table friends sounds like a great idea. I will need to get to work on finding some of those here in Denver.
June 30th, 2009 at 9:31 am
I have a few kitchen table friends and I really don’t know how I’d get by without them! Darling (my mom), a few friends from high school, and two new ones from college & grad school. We don’t meet as often as we should and we don’t all meet as a group but the conversations are priceless.
Let us know what you think of the rest of the book! I may have to add it to my list of reads.
June 30th, 2009 at 9:37 am
This is so neat, I’ll definitely have to order this from the library! I definitely have three great kitchen table friends, and they’re totally priceless.
June 30th, 2009 at 9:48 am
This is exactly what AA gives me every day, and I’m ever so grateful for it. We are experts in nothing but getting better one day at a time.
June 30th, 2009 at 10:08 am
I don’t have any kitchen table friends. everyone is too “busy” to get together like that. Which is sad, because “over busy-ness” is part of a lot of people’s problems. Sounds like an interesting book. I read something similar lately about chapters suggesting you “do” something called, how to live a charmed life.
June 30th, 2009 at 10:18 am
If I was Ashley I would sue.
June 30th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
I had a group of friends like this in Boston. We gathered to watch Jane Austen films, then talk, and dubbed ourselves The Jane Austen Movie Club. Jane Austen films soon gave way to period films of all kinds, then eventually included anything with Colin Firth.
We still have meetings, but they’re virtual and conducted by email. A new person has joined and two of us moved away, but we still talk life and love and work, just now from afar.
June 30th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
My local kitchen table of friends is small -- 3 ladies -- but they mean the world to me. I don’t know what I’d do without them, actually.
June 30th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
This sounds great. It’s so true that you don’t need an “expert opinion” to feel inspired or empathetic. I think anyone’s story can touch you. There are commonalities among all of us. Maybe you should start a “friends at the table” blog. :)
June 30th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
I have one kitchen table friend that I could tell ANYTHING too…and it is truly a great thing.
June 30th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
I wish I had some kitchen table friends like that. Anyone who has found such a group is very lucky.
June 30th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
As someone who’s just at the beginning of all of those glorious “transitions”, I imagine this could only do me good to read.
June 30th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
I hope you will blog about your progress in this book -- I am needing a good pick-me-up/inspirational book for a 12 hour layover I have in 2 weeks (yes, 12 hours. No typo). Happy reading!
June 30th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
i love my weekly kitchen table gathering (even if ours is more of a “coffee table with wine on it” gathering)…! it really does make a difference in having my life feel more balanced, manageable, and sane.
June 30th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
let me know what the book’s like, i’d like something new and fun to read!
June 30th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
I agree with Matt, I should sue! haha actually, I was referring to another blog, not a book! There actually is ANOTHER book with this same name, (unless this is the same one, but I have a feeling its not) about domestic violence. Which I learned of afterwards. Of course, now I can’t find anything about this, so maybe i’m delusional and they really DID steal my name!! :)I did find a t-shirt with TINTLIO written on it and now I must have it.
I love the idea of a kitchen table group of friends. I’ve never had a kitchen table so that’d be a nice start to get one of those but i’d love to have a group of friends to gather like this. :)
June 30th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
Wow that book does sound really interesting. I have to go check it out this weekend.