Action
It’s now Wednesday and I have fully worked through my observations and thoughts from BlogHer. Just because I didn’t drink the BlogHer juice doesn’t mean I didn’t learn something while I was there. In fact, I actually confirmed a few things about myself that I’m now ready to turn into action.
Action #1: Never Twitter. As if I really needed to learn this in a lesson. I don’t have a Twitter account now. And after BlogHer, I am quite certain I never will. It was OBNOXIOUS how many people cut out of conversations or stopped listening to speeches because they had to Twitter the moment. Equally as OBNOXIOUS was said people who cut out of conversations and stopped listening to speeches because they had to read what others were Twittering. Just as OBNOXIOUS were the people walking through the halls with their heads stuck in their phones, checking Twitter, updating Twitter and living in Twitter. Jesus, people, can’t you just live a little? No, seriously, LIVE. Not through your phones. Not through your friends who are not there with you. But, with the people in front of you. Around you. Live in the moment. To ensure that’s what I will be doing, I will not be joining the forces that are Twitter. So, please don’t look for me there.
Action #2: Delete Blogs. It’s funny, I went to this conference expecting to add blogs to my feed reader. And, I most definitely am doing that. But, I am also deleting blogs from my reader, too. Because, I realized what’s really important to me in this whole blogging endeavor is the community. The participatory community, that is. Not the people who ignore your comments by never responding and never reading your blog. Not the people who only read your blog after you leave a comment on their blog. Not the people with whom I have so little in common but am reading purely because other people I know read them or because they live in my city or because I’ve met them in real life. No, those are not the reasons I’m here. There are plenty of blogs where I feel I’m forming a real friendship with the blogger behind them. That’s what I want. REAL relationships. Not the fluffy, popularity contest stuff. By deleting a number of blogs, I think I will be able to spend quality time on (and with) the blogs I love (because yes, this is a love affair).
Action #3: Delete Facebook Friends. See comments to #2 above. For all the same reasons I am deleting blogs from my feed reader, I will be deleting a number of FB friends whose blogs I no longer read. And whose lives I just don’t feel a part of. Nothing personal against them; we’re just on different pages of a very long and complicated book.
Action #4: Reconsider BlogHer. Right now, over there on the left, I have BlogHer ads. I went down that road less for the money involved (because, believe me, there is very little money involved for a blog of my scale) and more because I thought it would open doors to like-minded bloggers. The reality is, it hasn’t. And what’s more, I’m opening my blog to advertisers, some of whom I may not personally like (and yes, I realize I can request certain advertisers never show up on this blog, but buying into the greater BlogHer ads network means, in an indirect way, I’m buying into all the advertisers which support that organization). And even more, I’m limiting myself to the rules of the BlogHer Ads network. And I just don’t think my blog is about that. Or maybe it was at one time. But, I’m beginning to reconsider all of that. So, the jury is still out, but don’t be surprised if I replace the BlogHer Ads with a SoMi’s Nilsa Ad that includes a pretty picture of myself. And maybe Sweets and SoMi if you’re lucky.
Action #5: Simplify. I went to BlogHer expecting to learn more. To expand my reach. To write better. And what I learned is the BlogHer conference was not the arena to do it. Not for me, at least. If I want those things in the future, that’s fine. But, first, I need to simplify my blogging life. Remove the clutter from the dirty trunks. Dust them off, inside and out. Rearrange what’s left. And go from there. Then, if I want to grow my little blog, I think I’ll do it organically. Start reading new blogs of people with whom I know there will be a connection. Do some internet research on blog writing; maybe even take a class. But, do it on the micro-level, instead of the macro-level that was BlogHer.
It’s funny. My immediate reaction to BlogHer was that I got very little out of it. But, now that I’ve had a few days to digest my experiences, I realize I got a lot out of it. I may not be a walking advertisement for reasons to attend BlogHer. Because, in fact, I only needed to attend the conference once to learn all I need to know. But here on SoMi Speaks, it’s not about BlogHer. It’s about me. And moving forward, I’m going to try to maintain that focus instead of getting swept up into something bigger.
July 29th, 2009 at 7:04 am
Is that why you’re not following me anymore? *sniffle*
;-)
July 29th, 2009 at 7:12 am
Ugh, Twitter. I have an account but haven’t “tweeted” for months. I’ve tried but I just don’t get it. And, if I’m friends with someone on FB too then I see their updates twice because they are somehow connected (?). I’ve been meaning to delete FB “friends” now for a while but I’m almost afraid. Particularly of those who will remain friends with my other friends. I know it’s just me being self conscience and I need to get over it! Like you said, it’s nothing personal! But will they know that? And why do I care?
July 29th, 2009 at 7:24 am
I’m with you on that. When I had to create the new blog, it was a great opportunity to clean out my reader, clean out my facebook friends, and figure out who am I still reading? Who do I still feel as though I have a relation to? That sort of thing.
I’m glad that you did get something out of BlogHer.
July 29th, 2009 at 7:53 am
I really “get” this post. I did some similar cleaning out a few months ago and its been much easier for me to work on forming lasting friendships with some other bloggers, while getting to know other ones better. I think that we are similar in that we tend to prefer smaller groups. Again, thank you for your honest review of BlogHer.
July 29th, 2009 at 7:55 am
I’m with you on the Twitter thing – I absolutley refuse to join. But then again I said that about FB and a friend finally convinced me to create a profile, so I don’t know.
As for the cleaning out your reader, I seriously wish that was something I could do more easily. I read tons of blogs that I feel no real connection with, but for some reason I feel guilty about deleting. I know that is silly, but its how I feel!
July 29th, 2009 at 7:59 am
I am slowly learning not to feel guilty for deleting blogs from my reader. It’s ok to try them on for a while, and if they don’t fit, why keep them?
July 29th, 2009 at 8:09 am
I have a Twitter account and I so rarely use it, the point has really passed me by.
I keep thinking about taking blogs off my reader, and I’m not sure why I don’t. I skim read some or leave loads unread for a while, but I feel a bit guilty about it. But having fewer to read would mean I could comment more and keep people straight in my head. I think I might have to.
July 29th, 2009 at 8:21 am
Brava Nilsa! What a great post.
I have been doing that perodically throughout the week by getting rid of blogs that I have lost interest in for a number of reasons.
I dispise twitter, the BF signed up and every free moment it is twitter this or what did this person tweet about. I can’t stand it.
right now, I am in cleaning and getting rid of clutter. While it has to do with my home, I am doing it in cyberspace and I feel lighter!
July 29th, 2009 at 8:26 am
While I didn’t attend the conference, I was there during all of the hoopla, and it’s so interesting to get this perspective from you. I enjoyed your previous observations, but it’s this one – where you realize what you actually DID take away from it – that resonates the most. I’m all SORTS of connected and sometimes have to force myself to take a step back. This post is encouragement to take MORE, BIGGER steps back. I loved it.
July 29th, 2009 at 8:35 am
I can think of nothing better than an ad with a pretty picture of you to take up the space of the BlogHer ads! To be honest, I have always found ads on blogs to be tacky anyway. Streamlining is always a good thing. Even if you streamline me out because I suck at commenting regularly!
July 29th, 2009 at 8:47 am
Yes, the live Tweeting would annoy me and I try to do it very little when I’m at events involving other bloggers. I’m not entirely sure why I have a twitter (well, truth: it kind of replaced my facebook addiction. I have scaled it back significantly.)
I went through my reader a few months ago, reorganized, cleaned up, cleaned out and it was great! While I enjoy reading some blogs, what’s the point if they don’t take the time to read and comment on mine? I don’t see much of one. I have to confess that I rarley even use my reader anymore as way to make it through the blogs I like.
If you find a writer’s seminar on how to improve the writing on your blog, let me know! I would be interested in something similar.
July 29th, 2009 at 8:55 am
As a Twitterer I can concur that the tweeting and being plugged in was raised to an obnoxious level. The cell reception was so craptacular in the Sheraton that half the time I had to scroll through a hundred texts just to find the ones that pertained to my job at the conference (volunteer wrangling). I can tell you one thing, I probably will not be sending Twitter to my phone again. It was out of control.
I got a lot of the same things out of the conference that you did the first time I attended. That’s why I’ve decided that if I do go again, it will be only to the cocktail parties and not to the entire thing.
July 29th, 2009 at 8:59 am
You are definitely not the only one that came away from this conference feeling this way. Several other of the people I read attended and most probably won’t be returning for similar reasons.
My readership has dropped lately and I’m very much okay with that. It’s because I don’t go and comment on peoples’ blogs that I don’t enjoy or connect with anymore. I figure the serendipitous nature of this whole blogging thing will bring the right people into my life. Just like in real life.
July 29th, 2009 at 9:15 am
Everyone always seems to say that you “get” as much or more out of negative experiences as positive ones, and this seems to support it! Re-structuring your reader is always good, my first step is always to click on “trends” and then on the “inactive” subscription trends. It’s a silly thing, but I always find a ton of blogs that have stopped being updated by their authors. It’s the first step in my Hack And Slash pruning ritual. ;)
July 29th, 2009 at 9:15 am
I am still upset over the fact that we never did meet up in person. I love your blog and would have loved to met the person behind the witty words of wisdom.
BlogHer, to me anyway, is like wine. Some people really love it and enjoy it; others go for the experience; and still others just don’t get what all the fuss is about.
I’m in the middle category. I was annoyed with the seemingly uninterested mommy blogger set who heard I wasn’t a bio-mom and immediately cast me off as a wicked stepmom with a bitching blog. And yes, I was almost jealous of the little notebook computers on the tables until I realized I was actually enjoying what I was listening to instead of listening and typing…half-listening and half-typing, etc.
Cheers to you for putting down the BlogHer kool-aid glass.
p.s. Mine wasn’t one of the blogs you deleted was it? I’d be forever sad if it was.
July 29th, 2009 at 9:17 am
Every once in a while I’ll go and “clean up”, so to speak, my facebook “friends” like I do with the clothes sitting in my closet. Same thing happens with my google reader.
How about a cartooned picture (i.e. like the one on your blog) of you, Sweets and SoMi? That would be awesome. :)
July 29th, 2009 at 9:34 am
i really like reading your reactions to blogher. sounds like you did get a lot out of it afterall.
July 29th, 2009 at 9:38 am
You are hilarious. I hope we’re lucky with your sidebar, because SoMi and Sweets and you make a pretty good-looking family!
Also, I’m on Twitter and I enjoy it but I haven’t jumped into it with both feet like some. I have the app on my phone but the only time I’ve used it was when we were driving cross-country while moving to Denver. I never think to check it otherwise. But I do enjoy catching up on people’s tweets from my computer when I have some spare time.
July 29th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Great observations yet again! I’m not a twitterer (is that a word?) and don’t plan to be. I think it’s hard enough keeping up with blogs and facebook!! :) I was reading this thinking, she really did get a lot out of BlogHER, even if it wasn’t what she thought she would. And then, low and behold, you said that!! My vote is for a pic of all three of you!!! I say keep on writing just the way you are. That’s what’s always drawn me to your blog ~ your honesty and transparency. That isn’t something any workshop can teach a girl!!!
July 29th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Another great post! I can really appreciate the reflection.
I am so anti-twitter. I just don’t get it. Does that mean I’m old?
July 29th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod, I SO agree with you about Twitter!! I have been at birthday parties where guests were sitting in a chair Twittering about the party. STOP IT. Get off your duff and GO TALK TO SOMEONE! UGH! (can you tell this makes me a little crazy??)
I have been guilty of texting with E. when I am out places, because for whatever reason we are not together and I wish he was there, but I fully own up that it is bad and wrong and takes me out of the moment.
But my Twitter account is CLOSED for business.
I also need to do some housekeeping on Facebook but have been really shy/awkward about deleting people.
July 29th, 2009 at 11:27 am
I need to follow your lead and attempt to de-clutter my reader. Too often I find myself pushing the magic “mark all as read” button.
July 29th, 2009 at 11:28 am
I use Twitter, but never from a phone, and never interrupting a moment to tweet something.
As far as deleting blogs who don’t read mine or comment on mine…I’m not sure if I agree with that one. I read the blogs I read because I ENJOY them…Not necessarily because they enjoy me back. I always try to visit blogs who comment to me, but don’t always find a reason to return.
Your facebook comment is part of the reason I haven’t joined. I don’t want a bunch of “friends” that I knew at one point in my life, but either I or they didn’t have the staying power to stay connected. There’s usually a reason for that.
It sounds like overall you certainly had an enjoyable time there. :-)
July 29th, 2009 at 11:46 am
I definitely do not understand the hubbub over Twitter. It makes no sense to me.
This was a great post and I’m glad to see that your experience wasn’t the “totally awesome!” experience that a lot of other people had, and I’m glad that you learned so much from it.
July 29th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
I only use twitter while at my desk to get news and current events updates (rather than perusing through cnn.com), and also to network professionally with other artisans. 4 months later I can safely say that, to my knowledge, I have yet to make a sale off of twitter. I can say, though, that i have found alot of fun links and interesting remarks on twitter. and one thing i can’t stand is when people tweet about every moment of their (otherwise lackluster) day – like what you saw at the conference.
There was a parody I saw on TV once of a gal who was singing a song about tweeting everything – “Ouch, I stubbed my toe!’ to “what shall I tweet about next?” When looking it up on YouTube, I found this equally disturbing mess: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DopuArSils0
I think Twitter has some pros, but I think it is indicative of how we as a human race, at least in our society, are now using technology not to get closer to others, but drive ourselves further away by replacing it with genuine social encounters. Harrumpfh.
July 29th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
i am a twitterer… i was unconvinced for a long time, but now i pretty much love it. (on the other hand, i haven’t been on facebook aside from checking up on photos i’m tagged in or accepting friends in WEEKS!)
i found myself texting / reading tweets in sessions where i was bored, but during the community keynote? or the palin panel? not so much. it’s a GREAT way to distract yourself if you’re bored during something, though :-D
July 29th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
You know, I was really sad about missing BlogHer, but after reading your posts I think I might have had a similar experience to yours had I gone. I’m not great in huge groups, I hate the whole “writing/Twittering* about life instead of living it” thing. So maybe I didn’t miss much.
*As a disclaimer I must admit that I DO have a Twitter account, but I never know what to write and I usually only update a few times a week. Those folks who update all damn day? Where do they find the time????
July 29th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
I love your honest recap! The more I read, the more I think BlogHer is NOT for me!
Twitter has never appealed to me, but does even less now! It would be so obnoxious to be around that! You know people aren’t really paying attention to you when they are doing it.
It’s too bad so many bloggers are after popularity, instead of friendship. Those ARE two different things ;)
July 29th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
I participate in Twitter, but not to the extent that it controls any part of my life. Sometimes whole days go by between times when I’m motivated to log on. It’s fun to have as an option occasionally, but I would also be peeved by anyone who interrupted our real-life conversation to Tweet. They must be a real twit.
July 29th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
i love this post! mostly because even though i didn’t go to blogher, HEARING about it made me do the same thing. i went and cleaned out my blogroll earlier this week. i too seek the same thing..to read blogs that i feel i have a connection with the author..or to what they’re saying…and get rid of the popular bloggers or people that i just have on the roll because everyone else has. well said nilsa :)
July 29th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Great thinking about clearing out your reader, I think i am going to take that one up and actually be really ruthless and think about commenting and enjoyable people only. it’s hard work though.
As i think i have said i am a big twitter fan but i also have manners and i wouldn’t dream of twittering through a lecture/talk/work thing/party or anything like that. There’s being connected and then there’s just being rude! Twitter gives you what you put into it just like anything else does.
I deleted my whole facebook account because i had so many ‘friends’ on there who i didn’t really know and it was so time consuming i didn’t know what else to do.
Wow this has turned into a long comment, sorry love
L x
July 29th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Oh, we are such kindred spirits! I’m with you on ALL of that, even the obnoxious twittering! But I WILL say that I enjoyed reading the tweets out of BlogHer, so for the outsider it was good :) Hee hee.
I know, you’ll never drink the Twitter juice, so I won’t even try to go there – I’ll just say that it can serve a purpose…I just scored highly coveted concert tickets because of it – yee haw!
Anyway!
The community part really resonates with me. I think the basic idea is QUALITY over QUANTITY, right? I’d rather have a few quality readers and follow a few quality blogs than have a whole bunch of nonsense cluttering up my inbox and feed reader. Less is more, and all that – god, the CLICHES!
The blogosphere needs to take itself back to the basics, in my opinion. I’m sure some academic is already penning a thesis called “The Commodification of Blogging.” YUCK.
July 29th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
This series of yours on BlogHer has been some of the best ones that I have read yet. I love how honest you are about your experience. I have wanted to go the past couple years, but something always got in the way. This years was the one I really wanted to attend, but that was mostly because it was held in Chicago! There are several bloggers that I would love to meet in person, but I’m not sure the whole conference atmosphere would work well for me either.
July 29th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Nilsa — the more I read you, the more I appreciate YOU. You’re an outstanding writer, that’s a given. More importantly, you’re a great thinker who thinks with both her heart and her mind. I think this comes through with actions #1 & action #2. I personally (and I’m no one) entered the blogosphere to meet more people. It’s nice to run into like-minded people, but I’ve learned that respectful disagreement isn’t bad either.
Rambling aside — great post.
July 29th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
There is as much value in determining what you DON’T want to be as there is in what you DO want to be….so I like that while your expectations were not meant, you used it to figure out what that meant for you.
July 29th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
I have a twitter account, but have never really used it properly, because I can’t do it from my phone in NZ. I think it’s a good thing, and I am going to try to hold off getting a blackberry/iPhone/flash phone that can actually do things for as long as possible for exactly the reasons you mention. Being a blogger, I’m quite internet obsessed enough as it is!!
July 29th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Great post! And by all the comments it seems you hit a nerve here. I have always tried to be true to why I blog (or not blog as of late). I think it is awesome that you are gut checking yourself. One of the things I admire most about you is how you are not afraid for honest, up-front assessments AND the fact that then you DO something about it.
July 30th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
i really like your honestly in this post for many many reasons.
i too thought that in joining blogher i would be exposed to more blogs but im realizing that im not all involved with the blogs in the network – i end up finding blogs on my own ya know?
although i do like the $40 to $50 i get a month from the ads.
August 2nd, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Okay I’ll just say it: I’m STILL sad you’re not on twitter! I love twitter but I will agree with you that people were obnoxious about it. Same goes for anything–some people ruin it for others and give ‘it’ a bad name (religion, politics, blogging, twitter, whatever).
I vote for pretty picture! :-)
August 9th, 2009 at 6:42 am
I’m going to start by at least introducing myself. I believe you met my friend, Nichole, a while back when she was in your area (for a medical conference maybe? I have forgotten exactly why now…) and I’ve had your blog tucked into my feed reader for a while–and yes, I am terrible about jumping in & leaving that first comment.
I couldn’t agree more with what you’ve posted. (Save for Twitter, which I use, but only when I am on my actual computer & usually to chatter with my friends as a sanity-check during the work day, and other than that, if I am out & about, the only text tweets from me are an occasional photo if I happen to see something particularly noteworthy–Twitter just isn’t for everybody…and I digress.) I am a firm believer in balance, in moderation, in quality over quantity. I don’t think BlogHer is for me either, and I am glad to know that you’ve voiced much of what I imagine I would feel, if I had attended.