Goals
Last week, I read Kim’s post about perception. While the post itself is a good one and worthy of reading on its own, something Kim said set a light bulb off in my head. Deep in a footnote, she said:
I seem to be stuck in the short term – I want to relax, have fun, travel, spend time with friends and family … what is that?! Those aren’t life goals.
It got me thinking because that’s much the way I am, but I don’t agree with those things not being life goals. You see, there are big picture people and little picture people. I’d argue I’m a little picture person (and so is this version of Kim). But, so long as we know who we are and can celebrate our place on earth, then there’s nothing wrong with having little picture life goals. Let me use charity work as an example for how I differentiate between the two kinds of people.
The big picture people want to change the world. They dive into working for non-profits. They start-up new organizations when none currently exist to support their causes. They are activists. They march on Washington and travel to Africa. They organize and sponsor massive fundraisers, bringing in hundreds of thousands, even millions of dollars to support their causes. They are the ideas and leadership behind movements. They are the movers and shakers.
And then there are the little picture people. These people still give back to their communities, but on a much smaller scale. They devote a few hours a week/month/year to feeding the homeless, spending time with the elderly or walking dogs from the local shelter. They participate in charity walks/runs. They give $10 or $25 here and there to support worthy causes. They spend $40 for an all-you-can-drink fundraiser at a local bar. Maybe they even give a dollar or can of soup to the local homeless guy sitting on the same corner every day.
People who live on a smaller scale are generally focused on their immediate communities. By that, I mean these are the people who go to work five days a week. Spend spare time with friends and family. Maybe take one or two big vacations a year, but generally stick close to home. Their social and charitable lives are on a micro level. Life goals do include making a decent enough living so that they can spend time with friends and family (near and far), relax (instead of working many jobs to make ends meet), travel (when time and money permit) and have fun. Those are worthy goals that not everyone can realistically achieve. In my eyes, this group accounts for 95% of the people living in our communities.
Now, back to the original point that living life on a micro level doesn’t involve life goals. Personally, I disagree! I always ask myself, if I were to die tomorrow, would I die a happy person? Would I feel I lived a fulfilling life? So long as I can answer yes to those questions, then I think there are multiple ways of getting there.
My happiness is derived from working at a job I really adore. I respect the people I work with. I have freedoms with this job. I have a balanced life with it. My salary puts glorious food on the table and a beautiful roof over my head. When not working, I spend my waking hours with Sweets and SoMi. We spend time with our dear friends. We see his family (they live local to us) often and I speak with my parents once a week (minimum!). By seeing my family a few times each year, it means we travel to Boston, Cape Cod and New York. We try to travel to other cities to spend time with our non-local friends and to explore new places, but those trips are few and far between.
Although I live life on a micro-level, I consider my life a happy one. A fulfilled one. I am not a high-ranking official in my company. I am not on any boards for local organizations. I generally do not bring in thousands of dollars to charities. You will not find my name in newspaper articles and I am never interviewed for the news. I am just a face in the crowd. But, if I were to die tomorrow, I would feel I’ve left a positive mark on the world. I’m not sure I’d change a thing.
To sum it up, I’d like to steal a quote from the lovely Mandy:
I’m the kind of woman who doesn’t have concrete life plans, but rather chooses to just go with the flow seeing where the journey leads me.
What about you – do you feel you’re living up to your own expectations for this lifetime? If not, what do you need to do to achieve those life goals you’ve set out for yourself?
October 6th, 2009 at 5:54 am
This is a great post! I was always the type of person who had strict long term goals – Great job on the partnership track by 25. Marriage to my personal super-hero by 27. Two kids by 32. But life doesn’t cooperate and plans don’t pan out. God or Fate or Circumstances take you on paths that you’d never anticipate.
So, I’d agree with you. For me short term goals are manageable and attainable. I know where thing are going for the next few months. But I have no idea where the “journey” is going to lead me in the end. I am happy on the day to day, micro-life level. And that is good enough for me.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:07 am
I think I am the same as you. Huge things seem overwhelming sometimes so I prefer to focus on the smaller good things.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:09 am
I love, love, love this post Nilsa! I am very much a micro-life person. While I think the movers, the shakers, the world changers are aweseome people I think that there is a lot to be done in my own community. I’ve never been an attention seeker — one who needs my name in the paper or needs to receive this or that award. I’m perfectly content helping where and when I can without any fanfare. My family and closest friends mean the world to me and I love spending time with them. Sure a trip to Africa for a safari or traveling through Europe would be great, but I think standing on my deck watching the sunset behind the hills is just as spectacular as it would be anywhere else in the world. If my time here were to end tomorrow, I would be completely at peace with that. I’ve lived a great life, maybe not according to some people, but according to myself and thats the only thing that matters.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:23 am
Living in today is one of the most valuable lessons I have learned.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:58 am
I’ve learned over time to support my community, my immediate family and friends. In doing so, I’ve supported many charities through various donations, attended events in support of my friends and family for the charities they are involved in and in the process, I’ve learned a lot about myself, those I surround myself with and the immense possibility for helping to change the environment around me.
Would I enjoy donating thousands of dollars? Sure, if I could! Would I mind being on a charity board? Nope, if I had the time!
(I used to be on a few boards but it got to be too much so I had to back it down substantially. It was great while it lasted, though.)
While there are some things I’d like to change (post coming on that tomorrow!), I’m pleased with my lifestyle choice and my happiness.
This is, as always, a fabulous post because it puts a lot of things into perspective for me, so thank you! =)
October 6th, 2009 at 9:18 am
I’m definitely a little picture person and very happy with it. I don’t need to rock and shake this world to change it. I just want to be helping hand when needed, even if it’s just to one individual.
Great post Nilsa!
October 6th, 2009 at 10:18 am
I love this idea of being both a big picture and little picture person.
My “big picture” life goal? Happiness, health, caring for my family, giving and receiving love, working hard. “Little picture”? Saving enough money to take an extended trip next year, freelancing an article or two, dating more.
None of the above are world-changing. But, achieving each would change my world, just a little bit.
October 6th, 2009 at 10:41 am
i’m definitely a little-picture person, and i’m a much more content person after i finally realized that around 25. my life is fulfilled by small happinesses, not large accomplishments. and once i figured that out and learned to be ok with it, i became very happy with my current life :-)
October 6th, 2009 at 11:05 am
I wish I was more little picture. I get seriously sidetracked by big picture stuff. I suppose what I need is to find me a mate who is little picture and together we’ll have the whole shebangle.
October 6th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I love this post! I think that I’m very similar, I consider myself as someone who lives on a neighbourhood level instead of a national one, if that makes sense.
That’s my city politics degree way of fist pumping. =)
October 6th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
i’m totally like the quote said too. i do make goals but super shortterm goals because i get sidetracked way too easily.
October 6th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Steven and I discussed this further after I wrote that. We tried to come up with “long-term” goals, but I really couldn’t. The things I felt like I should do are actually things other people expect of me (because of my profession). I told Steven I don’t want to look back in 20 years and say “I wish I would have…” but I really don’t think I will :)
I like the quote from Mandy – I am more like that. Nothing is set is stone for me, except, for now, living in Chicago. I *strive* to be up for anything.
October 6th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
I like going with the flow. I think making each daily decision based on love is the most important thing. Then the big things will take care of themselves.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
If I only focused on long terms goals, I think I would be a very disappointed and sad person. As soon as I got my Masters I made a vow to myself to not let “failures” get to me. Life happens. And I want to experience it in every bigger-than-your-mouth bite I can take. Which, of course, means having long-term IDEAS, short term goals, and a daily sense of gratitude.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
I am so goal-oriented, but tend to tackle life in “chapters” rather than worrying about writing my whole story upfront. I do live flexibly enough so that I can change direction when necessary (or bored).
October 6th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
I like the way you define things. I am a micro girl myself…and I think I have made a positive mark on this world, even if it is through cursing and laughter.
October 6th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Good topic. I definitely live my life on a micro-level but I know that I try to do something nice for someone each day, so at least I can leave on a positive note :)
October 7th, 2009 at 2:19 am
great post! i definitely agree with you. there is a place for EVERYONE here and what you make of your life IS your purpose. if you’re not happy with the micro-level and still feel like it’s not enough then maybe you’re truly a macro-level person who hasn’t found their groove yet. i’m not quite sure what i am.. i think i’m somewhat of a macro but living my life in micro.. i do both. i’m not sure if that makes sense but.. i definitely try to ‘go with the flow’ with no concrete plans.. but i’d like to help change the world, too. i want whatever i do to have some sort of meaning towards a bigger goal. if i don’t feel i meet those ‘bigger goals’, then the day to day stuff i do becomes incredibly unsatisfying.
October 7th, 2009 at 6:10 am
I love this post. I’m definitely in the little picture people group.
The first thing I need to do to achieve my life goals is to get away from the lawyers and find a new career.
October 7th, 2009 at 7:05 am
[...] reading Nilsa’s post on Life Goals, I realized that I am more of a small picture person which I like to think makes me more [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 8:44 am
Wow, I really, really love this post. I’ve been trying to figure out which of these people I am (prior to reading this, without having it nicely laid out for me). I think I’m trying to be a big picture person, when my core tells me I’m a little picture person.
Interesting. Must chew on this.
October 7th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
You just made me feel so much better about the fact that I have two book manuscripts collecting dust at my house. :) I tend to make the smaller things my priority, as well, and I carry guilt about not devoting more time to the big things (like becoming a famous author). I totally agree with you though – I could die today and be happy with what I’d accomplished.
You also forgot to mention that you touch the world every day through this blog – and that counts for a lot!
October 9th, 2009 at 10:23 am
I agree. There is something for everyone. As long as you are a happy person, that DOES contribute the the overall big wide world. I think you are very content in your life and that’s awesome!!!
For me, aside from really needing work, I love my life. It doesn’t look the same as other people’s lives. “You mean you have to go to the laundry mat to do laundry?!?!” But hey, I live .5 miles from the beach. I do hope I find steady work soon. That’s the elephant in the room. I just want to make enough to enjoy the same kinds of things you do. I don’t need a big house and a boat or big fancy vacations. Know what I mean?
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:04 am
[...] Nilsa’s done it a few times, and sure enough – did it again. [...]
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:47 am
I love this post, it made a lot of sense to me. I think I really fit into the little picture person right now, but it makes me wonder if that will ever change.
Really interesting!
November 4th, 2009 at 4:33 am
[...] know this couldn’t have been easy for her. I know she was trying to dream big – to be a big picture person – but I can’t help but be furious when I think about it. But I love her, [...]