Art
There is an art to gift giving, no doubt about it. Some people are great at giving gifts (and by this, I mean picking out the right gift, not boxing and wrapping said gift, which is art on a whole different level) and others always seem to struggle to find the right gift.
I’ve been on the giving and receiving end of all kinds of gifts with a whole range of success.
I’m usually the last person to think about buying gifts for the holidays. I’m usually staring down the clock, standing in long lines and pulling my hair out as the only postal worker not on break slowly helps the line of 50. But, this year, I am embarking on more DIY gifts, which means getting an early start (so, hopefully I avoid burning the midnight oil the way I did last year).
Even with this early start, I’m hit or miss when it comes to buying great gifts.
With Sweets, I’m usually a hit. (I’m not gloating here – he makes it easy.) First, he rarely treats himself to anything, so it’s really easy to dote on him. Second, I live with the guy, so I hear all about his likes and dislikes. Third, I keep notes.
We’ll be watching TV, a commercial will come on and he’ll say he wants the book mentioned in the commercial. Or he’ll get an email from a vendor where he buys stuff, which reminds him he wants more of their product. Or he bitches and moans about something he has and how it’s just not working for him. I make lots of mental notes and usually jot them down later. Soon enough, I have a running list of things he wants. It’s easy to pick from the list when it’s time to actually buy him a gift.
I have all this gift shopping on my mind because, well, if you can keep a secret, I just bought Sweets one of his gifts (sssssshhhhhhh!). The other night, we were in the car listening to some music. He loved one of the songs I downloaded, but neither of us knew if this (new to us) artist had any other worthwhile music.
A couple days later, I went online to find said (new to us) artist. Not only did I find said (new to us) artist, but I learned said (new to us) artist is going on tour with another, more seasoned artist. We’ve seen the more seasoned artist in concert. It was an amazing show.
I might have done some further research regarding when the tour stops in Chicago. I might have found out tickets for the Chicago show of the more seasoned artist with (new to us) artist as an opening act are on presale. This week. For American Express card holders. (Hi American Express Blue. You’re beautiful.) I looked at our 2010 calendar. It’s pretty much in the clear. I bought tickets, patting myself on the back for being so creative. Sweets won’t see it coming. (And if he does, I’m coming right back here to you. Time outs for everyone. You’ll all be in big trouble!!!)
If only all gift-buying was this easy. For others, sometimes I nail it, other times not so much. Some people (hi dad!) are difficult to shop for. They buy everything they need and rarely talk about anything they want. Making it difficult to shop for them. (So, dad, if you want to drop heavy hints regarding what you want, you know I’ll appreciate it greatly!!!) Other people I’m not around enough or don’t know well enough to feel confident in my purchases. I can only hope with these people that I get it right most of the time … and that my flops aren’t terrible duds.
Tell me, do you have the gift when it comes to giving gifts? What are your strategies for picking out gifts for loved ones?
November 19th, 2009 at 6:42 am
For people who buy everything they want (like your dad and my MIL) I dont buy physical gifts, but go for life experiences. I took her hot air ballooning for her birthday this year.
I just ordered my husband Kopi Lewak coffee for Christmas but I’ll get him some other things to go with it. He thinks it is amazing I manage to get just what he wants but he has always hinted at it earlier in the year and forgotten lol.
I loooove to send gifts and snail mail. I try to send something somewhere every week of the year.
November 19th, 2009 at 7:25 am
Two words… prayer… luck.
November 19th, 2009 at 7:30 am
Like you it depends on the person for whom I am buying the gift. My sister is easy. My brother and step-mom are impossible. I enjoy shopping for the perfect gift though and I think it is really important to put the effort and thought into shopping.
November 19th, 2009 at 8:36 am
I love to receive homemade gifts or something little and thoughtful. My husband’s family does huge gifts and lots of them. We tend to disappoint each other when we exchange gifts with each other. He buys and is expecting large amounts of things (because that is what he is used to not because he is greedy!) and I make something and buy something little that I know he will love because that is what I am used to. Now that we have been married 14 years we have gotten used to it (but we still tend to do what we are used to and would want for ourselves rather than trying to do what the other person wants/expects for some reason) but it used to make me sad when he got a ton of “stuff” for me but nothing that meant anything special.
I find if I really know someone it is usually easy for me to find a great gift for them (except my dad…what is it about dads that make them so difficult?) But I still tend to like homemade or meaningful gifts rather than expensive piles of things.
November 19th, 2009 at 8:52 am
Gosh, it is such an art! I think last year I hit the jackpot with lots of gifts for different folks. But this year? I am struggling! BIG TIME! My hubby is not easy to buy for; he’s just extremely particular about his clothes. And if he needs something, he buys it. I’m really having a hard time with him this year. He keeps a list of things to buy for me, though. And he always pulls through with awesome things! Right now I’m still gushing over my David Yurman necklace he gave me for my bday!
November 19th, 2009 at 8:53 am
Hoorary for being on the ball and getting started early. That concert sounds like it will be great. I’ve started too, as I’m usually frantically searching for presents Christmas Eve. I decided not this year. My mom and grandma are pretty easy to buy for, my stepdad isn’t too picky but my brother is the most difficult. He buys whatever it is he wants and very rarely says what he wants.
November 19th, 2009 at 8:55 am
I have a an auditory “photographic” memory…what I mean is, that I remember pretty much everything people say to me. I generally use that when buying gifts for them. I get little things they’ve mentioned that they like or would like to have.
If it’s not someone I talk to a lot, I kindly point them to Amazon and tell them to make a wish list. ;)
November 19th, 2009 at 9:04 am
From years of shopping with my dad, I’ve learned how to celebrate the individual when giving gifts. I take what I know about their personality, their passions, likes and dislikes, and extrapolate what I think they’d like as a result. Is it something they thought of? Not usually. Do I pepper in a thing or two that they did ask for? Certainly. But the end result is so much fun because I’ve found something they truly love, just didn’t know it existed or that they wanted it! Sure, I’ve had a few duds (probably anything pre-college where I hadn’t really figured out how to shop for meaningful gifts) but I like to think I have it down pretty well now.
November 19th, 2009 at 9:04 am
i’m like hilly…i remember any little thing that someone says that they want. then, i ebay for months trying to get it for cheaper price :)
November 19th, 2009 at 9:33 am
It depends on the person. Hubs is getting easier since we’ve been together for a while but the reality is that we don’t need or really want anything. Thsi year we put a do not exceed amount so it forces us to be more creative.
My parents are also hard because they don’t need anything. My dad is a reader so I will get him a few books and my mom may drop a hint or two.
For the most part, this year’s gifts will be homemade or crafted!
November 19th, 2009 at 9:36 am
My friends and family rarely talk about things that they want, so I end up employing what I like to call the Guessing Method. I try to get a handle on their style & then….I pretty much wing it. But I seem to do alright! That’s all you can hope for!
November 19th, 2009 at 10:11 am
i usually kind of just go into the store and hope for the best! some people i have things in mind for, but more often than not, i wing it. this year im feeling a little stumped for people, especially since im trying to go easy on the wallet too…
what show did you get tickets for? that’s a great gift!
November 19th, 2009 at 10:33 am
nope, I’m kind of bad at it. If people told me what they liked and wanted, I would be like you. I would take notes, but people around me always tell me not to get them anything, especially with being laid off. So this year it will probably be just cards. I have, however, been participating in the 29-day giving challenge with success. Every day I focus on giving “something,” whether that’s a compliment, or driving someone to the airport, or donating a small amount to a couple of causes. So I’ve been doing well there.
November 19th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Not to toot my own horn but I am pretty good at gift buying. I pay attention. I make notes. I think about the person I am buying for. My problem is I don’t always have the TIME to execute all my grand gift plans. This part depresses me.
I always say I am going to start early and then it is Thanksgiving and I am FREAKING OUT.
November 19th, 2009 at 11:18 am
In general, I’m fairly poor. So, I’ve taken to giving gifts of things like framed pictures of the recipients doing something they love doing. Remember that shadowy picture of my brother with his new baby? It was a complete photographic accident, but it’s an amazing photograph. Blow up, mat and frame and I know he’ll love it. When I visited my sister, I noticed that I’m the ONLY FAMILY MEMBER not represented on her mantel. (Hello?! Resentment! Ha!) and I happened to get an amazing picture of the two of us when I was there. The sun is streaming in, our blue eyes were blue, blue, blue. I can’t wait to find the perfect one of my parents. I like giving pictures for some reason.
November 19th, 2009 at 11:39 am
I wish I were as organized as you are and kept lists/mental notes, but I just don’t. I swear I’ll do it next year!!
I struggle with gift giving. I personally don’t like to give gift cards or money – to me, that shows no creativity. I always end up thinking of something to give and usually I feel that I do a pretty good job but I’d usually like to have my shopping done far sooner than I actually do.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
which artist are you going to see?
I’m pretty good at giving gifts because I’m like you – I listen and I take notes. The few times I’ve tried to think outside the box and give a gift I thought of on my own I’ve failed pretty miserably though, so maybe I’m only a good gifter because I play it safe.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
I keep lists too…even for co-workers in case I draw their name for Secret Santa.
In general the people I’d most like to give really great gifts to are way out of my price range. My best friend has exquisite, expensive taste and my father is IMPOSSIBLE. I can’t afford to buy him a new car or a new set of golf clubs and I can’t find him vacation time to travel. He doesn’t want much else.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
oh man, BOTH my parents are super hard because of that same reason – they buy whatever they want/need as soon as they want/need it! or else, my dad pines after things my mom won’t “let” him have because there’s not enough room in the house / it would be a waste because the old one works just fine / whatever reason. it’s impossible. so, uh, any ideas you have for my parents, shoot ‘em on over… :-)
November 19th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
I’m horrible at gift giving. Maybe not horrible, but inconsistent. Sometimes, with DD, I’m a hit. And then other times (like this year!) I have no idea what to get him because he never mentions things he wants.
I’m a big fan of asking people what they want. I want to get thing I want for the holidays and I want to give things that others want. I make a list for myself and I ask for lists from others. And I get annoyed when people don’t have lists. How do people NOT have lists?! For the past 365 days, you’ve know the holiday was coming. It’s not that hard to make a list. I just don’t get it ;-)
November 19th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
I’m usually an awesome gift giver (no really, people have told me so). But since I’m REALLY picky, many people who have given me gifts in the past have really done a very poor job in thinking what they got me I would like (i.e. a friend once gave me a thick fur-like purse and gloves to match – yes she really did think I would like them).
I really like cards though. That’s always a hit with me. :)
November 19th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
My family has always skipped the surprises and gone with lists. We’re all very happy with that. But my husband’s family just kind of wings it, and so I’m having a hard time making him write a list. I’m doing the best I can with your mental note strategy, but it’s kind of hard because he doesn’t want that much.
November 19th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Man, am I ever a MISS when it comes to gift giving. I totally envy people who give great gifts. The only person I do okay with is A. because I do the same thing you do with Sweets.
Good luck!
November 19th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
I did really well for my sister and her husband for their birthdays, and my nephew as well. I nailed Christmas this year for the kids (cruise), but I will struggle for Mr. P…he also tends to buy himself what he wants, and he isn’t that gracious of a gift receiver…he gets all awkward and uncomfortable. Not me, I like ANYTHING someone wants to gift to me.
November 19th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
I think I might love Sweets’ gift. Pretty sure I know both artists you’re (not) speaking of. I was just thinking the one you heard on the radio was good and that I wished they would have been the opening band in LA.
I just bought my first Christmas gift today. It’s so much easier to shop for the kids than the adults!
November 19th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
hi stranger!! i know it’s been so long, but i’ve finally found some breathing room and in the process of catching up on all your posts in my reader. just wanted to say hello. also, i do the EXACT same thing with regards to keeping a mental list whenever i hear mention of something someone likes or would like to have. though like you, for those family members i don’t spend every day with, sometimes it’s a hit, sometimes it’s a miss.
November 19th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
I try to keep a list throughout the year of ideas. I always have a little journal in my purse, so if I’m at the bookstore or REI or some other store that a family member loves, I’ll jot down ideas that I get.
I also like the idea of giving “experiences” as gifts, instead of tangible items. Like massages, or a night out on the town at a nice restaurant, or a spa package…
November 19th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
what is it about dads that make it so hard to shop for them? seriously…
anyway, i either have it or i don’t. if i have it, i know i do, and i get the gift and it’s a hit. if i don’t have a clue, i know it, ask them or someone close to them for a list of things they want and chose one (or several) thing(s) off the list.
very little grey here for me!
November 19th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Yay! What a great gift! I keep meaning to tell you that U2 is coming back here this summer, but you probably already knew.
We also have people who have everything. We try really hard to get the perfect gift, and I think we do a good job, but it’s too much stress. We have cut back huge this year and I am much less stressed out :)
November 19th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
This will be the first Christmas my boyfriend and I have spent together and I am a little worried because I have NO CLUE what to get him. I think I am going to have to follow your lead and write down any hints I get from him. Let’s just hope he starts dropping them!
November 19th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
The only one I struggle with is my dad. My mom usually helps me with that.
November 21st, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Oh, I love the perks of being an AmEx cardholder!
I love to give gifts. Being a professional gift shopper is a fantasy profession of mine… I usually do pretty well but sometimes I just can’t give the time or brain space to figuring out a gift. I have a few go-to’s when that happens. Sending flowers, good coffee, or some kind of food.
I am really excited about this Christmas, though. I’ve come up with some good ones!
November 22nd, 2009 at 2:27 pm
I keep the same kind of list with gift ideas for parents, sister, CP, etc. because by the time the holidays come around, I have totally forgotten anything that they mentioned earlier in the year!