Mamas
I don’t talk much here about my the mamas to my brother’s baby because, well, for a long time, there really wasn’t much to tell. When he first started down this road of “I’m gonna be a baby daddy,” I hadn’t ever met either of these women. They lived on the east coast and were connected to my brother through work, but that’s really all I knew.
Before I know it, I’m heading to Boston for a long weekend where I was going to meet my month-old niece for the first time … oh, and her mothers, too. For me, it was slightly weird and surreal. Like this is my life, but I don’t really feel a part of it. The mamas were fantastic. Good sports for being surrounded by this adoptive family. Seemingly interesting women. Still, though, I wasn’t sure what form this relationship was taking. Or how often I’d see any of these women.
Next thing I know, the mamas became our neighbors. Moving to Chicago was a big win for me. My brother was already super close with these gals. My parents had already adopted them as children and grandchild. Me? I was kind of left hanging out here in the Midwest. This move was my opportunity to get to know them.
Despite the fact the mamas have crazy lives and are sometimes away from Chicago more than they are here, the fact of the matter is, I have really gotten to know them now that they live mere blocks from me. I take yoga with one. Give blogging advice to the other. Fundraise for their theater. We have become so close to them that Sweets and I seated them at our table for our wedding reception. Not only have they become part of my inner circle, they have become family.
Which is why I absolutely love our chats about Baby Z. Like last week when one of the mamas emailed me this:
At breakfast this morning I stuck my tongue out at [Baby Z] and she yelled NO till she seriously started shaking and then threw her bowl at [the other mama].
It’s humor like this that keeps me going. Seriously.
Speaking of mamas, my mama made her first comment on this here blog (even though she’s been a reader for quite some time). Given the lady took months to realize I no longer blog at my old address (over and over, she’d ask for my blog address, because the one she had wasn’t working), I was floored she decided to comment. And didn’t ask for directions. Go mom!
January 26th, 2010 at 6:37 am
I love that you have the attitude that anyone can be family! That is how I feel too! You don’t have to be blood to love someone and let them into your life. You just have to make that connection!
January 26th, 2010 at 8:37 am
I love these family stories! Sometimes family can become a territorial, who’s in and who’s out thing. You guys are like european designers, knocking out the barriers separating rooms to open things up, and in the same move making everything a thousand times more beautiful and warm. I need to make a brochure about this and give this to one side of my family lol =)
January 26th, 2010 at 8:39 am
i love this story of the mamas and your realtionship. i think it’s so unique and special. you’re lucky!
January 26th, 2010 at 8:40 am
As a member of a mixed up, split a part, put back together again, black, white, orange, marriage, life partner, exes, step this and half that family -- I am constantly amazed by the love that happens when we choose our families.
I’m glad you are enjoying yours.
January 26th, 2010 at 8:56 am
You are so lucky to have the fortune of getting to know them not only as baby Z’s mamas but also as close friends. The bond that you all have is so unique and special that you know it will last a lifetime.
January 26th, 2010 at 8:57 am
A beautiful post as always Nilsa. I’ve always been convinced that family isnt just based on DNA but the people we choose to be our family.
January 26th, 2010 at 9:18 am
Hello to Nilsa’s mom! =)
That’s so great that Baby Z has brought you new family members (and honestly, for the longest time I didn’t realize the connection between Baby Z and your family. Apparently I can be a little dense at times.) Kids really are a great source of humor and do say and do the darndest things.
January 26th, 2010 at 10:00 am
I’ve “adopted” many a family member here in Sioux Falls. My REcovery Mom is my favorite. She really IS a mom to me in the way that I need sometimes. People just find their way into our hearts and lives and it’s as it should be. I’m so glad you get to be a part of theirs and vice versa.
January 26th, 2010 at 10:30 am
That is so wonderful! I think the closest I’ve come to something like that is finding a couple women who are almost like sisters. Too bad one lives in Dallas. But the other is just a few minutes away. :-)
January 26th, 2010 at 10:31 am
I think it is so great for all of you that you are in each other’s lives.
January 26th, 2010 at 11:02 am
Aww, cute! It’s so nice that you’ve been able to develop a relationship with them.
January 26th, 2010 at 11:40 am
Pretty amazing that a little kid can bring strangers together to become family. Truly amazing. :)
January 26th, 2010 at 11:50 am
Wow, that sounds like a fantastic relationship you have with them. I only really have my parents because I’m an only child with no grandparents, so sometimes I do wish for a nice big family who can get together often :)
January 26th, 2010 at 1:43 pm
i’m so happy you guys have bonded and become family for each other… i love how the definition of family keeps expanding for us :-)
January 26th, 2010 at 2:11 pm
I agree with Rebecca: chosen family is the best family. And it’s always a treat to watch a child grow up. I get a real kick out of my friends’ kid. They live at the other end of town so I only get to see them once a month or so. I’d love to see more of them.
January 26th, 2010 at 4:35 pm
I love the idea that we get to have a chosen family.
January 26th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
I just love stories about your family. Your family sounds wonderful!
January 26th, 2010 at 10:10 pm
You never know who is going to come into your life and become a loved one. Each new person I love is a wonderful surprise! Lovely post lady!
January 26th, 2010 at 10:22 pm
Aww I love this story. And congrats to your mom on commenting. That’s very exciting!!
January 27th, 2010 at 12:01 am
That’s great you are able to 1 -- stay in touch and 2 -- keep up such a great relationship.
January 27th, 2010 at 9:47 am
I was really confused at the beginning, but now I understand. That’s awesome that you are able to be so close to them and hear about Baby Z. She sounds like quite a character.
January 27th, 2010 at 1:00 pm
it’s so great that we can adopt people into our family circle simply because we love them.
January 27th, 2010 at 6:00 pm
Your family sounds like some of the coolest people on the planet. Seriously. And it’s even neater that you expand that family to include so many other lucky individuals.