Business
I grew up in a house mostly void of golf. It wasn’t until I was in high school that my dad reunited with the hobby he had started as a teenager. It wasn’t until a college golf class where I learned the rules and etiquette of the game (four!). It wasn’t until sometime there after I learned to better appreciate what I previously flipped past on TV every Sunday afternoon.
Over the last decade, I wouldn’t say I’ve become a golf fan. That said, if I’m in a room and someone else wants to watch golf, I don’t mind watching it. Mostly because it gives me a good, albeit pretend, dose of sunshine during the 9 months of Chicago winter. And it’s one of the few sporting events that doesn’t cause Sweets to raise his voice and blood pressure while watching.
Unless you’ve been living without TV and WiFi over the past few months, then you’ve certainly heard about golfing great, Tiger Woods, his extramarital escapades with many women, his breaking marriage to Elin and his questionable return to golf. And until today, I’ve remained mum on the subject.
It’s not that I am void of an opinion on the subject. But, I keep coming back to the question, why do we care?
Why do we care when celebrities cheat? Or make stupid financial decisions? Why does it matter when they say stupid things? To the average Joe (i.e., you and me), it really shouldn’t matter one bit.
And yet, many of us (myself included) were curious to see what Tiger’s press conference would include. We wanted to see if he would reveal something new. But, more than that, we wanted to see whether he showed genuine remorse. As if we know him well enough to know what he looks like when he’s being genuine.
As I sat glued to my computer screen, listening to his words, watching his body language, I couldn’t help but ask again, why do we care? To be honest, I’m not sure his statement was any of our business. As The Black Snob so candidly pointed out, the only people Tiger Woods should be apologizing to are his wife, his mother and his sponsors. I might add that he should also apologize to his children. And maybe even Buddha.
But to you and me. Apologize? I don’t think so. I don’t think he owes us anything. In fact, I might argue that we should apologize to him. We should apologize for caring about his personal life. We should apologize for wanting to see proof of his life in rehab. We should apologize for pushing our noses where they just don’t belong. We should apologize for making this messy personal situation news worthy.
When I watched that press conference, I felt sorry for the guy. Not sorry for his choices – those are all his and he needs to own up to them. But, I felt sorry that here he was in front of a national audience apologizing for something intensely personal. Something intensely personal that has absolutely zero effect on our lives.
Seriously, think about it. Think about how you carry yourself at work. Think about how you want your bosses and colleagues to think highly of you. To appreciate all the hard work you put in to making work a better place. To value your contributions while you’re at work.
And then think about what it’d be like for your boss, your co-workers and even your clients to know all about what happens to you at home. The drunken nights out with friends. The speeding tickets for having a little fun (not, of course, related to the drunken nights out with friends). The stupid fights (big and small) you have with your friends. Your family. Your spouse. The accidental monetary overdose you spent at Nordstrom’s. Or the very purposeful mess you left on the living room floor.
And then imagine walking into work everyday knowing your these same people know everything about you. That they’re judging you for things not remotely related to your hard work in the office. That they believe what they see or what they want to believe without knowing the whole truth. I’m pretty sure every one of us happily chooses to have a very clear distinction between work and home.
Why should it be any different for Tiger Woods? Sure, his performance on the golf course is our business. Because, he makes it our business. Because he chose a profession that is televised for the world to see. But, what he does during his free time? Well, that’s between him and his family. And unless you received a personal invitation to join them, we weren’t invited and really should mind our own business.
I know there is an element of this argument that states that celebrities choose these public lives and therefore are open to a greater amount of scrutiny. And ideally, I wish our celebrities were these super humans with the ability to be wonderful mentors and role models. The reality is celebrities are mortal, human beings. Full of quirks and faults. Maybe more likely to trip given such close scrutiny from the world around them.
I don’t get mad at celebrities when they fall. They are only human, after all. I only wish they were better able to define for us clear boundaries between what’s personal and what’s business. And that the rest of us would respectfully take a step back from the personal stuff and let them live their lives.
How do you feel about the Tiger Woods situation and where do you fall on the “it’s none of our business” spectrum?
February 25th, 2010 at 5:50 am
I avoided watching his press conference and dont care much what he got up to…but then I do care a little and I know why. I care because I want people, when given a choice, to CHOOSE to take the right path. I am disappointed that he wasnt able to be a good and loyal husband.
February 25th, 2010 at 8:40 am
We care because we are a voyeuristic society. It is our business becuase he choose to be in the spotlight. If he was a DPW worker in Springfield, it would be his private issue. But the moment someone enters the public spotlight and accepts endorsements and comes into our homes selling us his image, then his life becomes our business. I truly believe that the trade off to the perks of celebrity is the surrender of your private life.
That being said, I don’t care -- other than the fact that it is entertaining. I am not passionate about the scandal. I feel badly for his wife as a woman who was betrayed. But then again, she choose to marry into that lifestyle also, so she can’t be surprised that public is in her life.
February 25th, 2010 at 8:47 am
I don’t know if I’d define him as a celebrity. I don’t think of athletes as people who go out with a quest for fame and attention. Maybe they are though, maybe the public eye isn’t because of talent only. Either way, I don’t think his affair is our business. I understand that people feel they’ve been lied to, but he still doesn’t owe them an apology. He didn’t make vows to the public.
February 25th, 2010 at 8:51 am
Nilsa, I swear—I’ve said it before, but sometimes I seriously feel like you’re writing my thoughts.
When I was out with friends last Friday, we got onto the topic of Tiger Woods and two of my friends were so indignant about his press conference. They went on about was “staged” and “bland” and “unemotional” he was, and he “totally didn’t seem sorry,” like they would even know what his “sorry” looked like. And among them, I was the lone voice saying, “Umm, ladies? Why are we talking about this? None of us watch golf. None of us are golfers. Why do you CARE about Tiger Woods’ apologizing for being an idiot and having extra-marital affairs?”
I purposefully DON’T buy tabloid magazines, nor read Perez Hilton, nor watch E! or Access Hollywood. I won’t judge those who do, but I will wonder why the hell they’ll spend precious free time reading about the inside (and probably untrue) details of complete strangers who never asked for their lives to be dissected in the first place. What about world news? Current events? Poetry? Music?! So many better uses of our time.
Goodness. I could write an entire blog post on this. Hmm. Perhaps I will… As always, lady, awesome post. Thanks for getting this discussion going!!
February 25th, 2010 at 8:59 am
I totally agree with you that it is none of our business. I find it embarrassing and uncomfortable to watch/read about something so private like that when it doesn’t invlove me or change my life in any way.
I do like hearing about happy/normal celebrity news only because it is interesting to me to hear about other people, famous or not. I read blogs to see what life is like for people who live very differently from me and that is how I view the celebrity things. Interesting snap shots of someone elses life. But I don’t think the very private things should be so public and I don’t think people should be so upset about things that don’t really have any place in their own lives.
February 25th, 2010 at 9:32 am
I agree with you, Tiger should not have had to apologize to the mass public. I also dont think politicians should have to call press conferences to say they did something wrong. I strive very hard to keep my private live separate from my personal life. That said, I do read about celebrity mishaps. I’m not sure why I care. I don’t know if I do care or if its just something thats put in front of me through news outlets, magazines, another sources.
February 25th, 2010 at 9:52 am
im right there with you. in fact, ditto to this whole post. i also felt bad for him the other day— not his actions, but the scrutinity. the fact that because of who he is, he feels he HAS to apologize publically. im just hoping that now, people can cut him a break and let him focus on his golf game. afterall, that’s his shitck, let him get back to it. why does anything else matter? (to US that is. his family, his wife, his kids. different story.)
February 25th, 2010 at 9:54 am
I didn’t listen to the press conference when it aired or later because it’s none of my business. It’s none of my business in Brad & Angelina are thinking about splitting up. It’s none of my business is Lindsey Lohan likes girls (or doesn’t).
I really don’t care what they do with their life because it’s just that: THEIR LIFE. If they choose to share things with us, that’s one thing but being pressured or bothered by paparazzi and media, that’s an entirely different story.
I keep things at work very much, well, on a work level. Rarely discussing my week/weekend’s plans, habits, dating. Heck, most of my colleagues didn’t (and mabye still don’t) know that I am single for quite sometime because I don’t think it’s any of their business.
I hope Tiger can move forward from all of this in the best way he knows how and that perhaps we all take a little less interest in his life from now on…? :)
Great post, as always!
February 25th, 2010 at 10:22 am
While I agree with you that Tiger’s personal life is none of our business, I have to say that he’s still somewhat at fault here… himself or whoever made his image to be this sweet, innocent family guy with no “dirty secrets”.
I am not surprised that the public is appalled when those dirty secrets (that obviously do exist) come out.
I agree with you though that this is something he has to work out with his wife and family.
February 25th, 2010 at 10:25 am
P.S. I wanted to add: it would have been one thing if he had ONE affair with ONE other woman, but having a wife and children and then having MULTIPLE affairs over the years makes me question his integrity as a person.
Just because you’re a celebrity and you make tons of money doesn’t mean you can get away with everything and apologizing not only to his family, but also to the public is somewhat of a “punishment” for him.
February 25th, 2010 at 11:04 am
I totally agree with you. His behavior was awful, but non of my business. And, I’m tired of hearing about it and I feel sorry for him. Having all of your dirty laundry spewed across the world for everyone to comment about must be horrible.
February 25th, 2010 at 11:14 am
i think the only person tiger owed an apology to was elin. and i’m sure he’s been saying it daily to her. the only part that’s our business, i feel, is that he should no longer be made out to be this wholesome family guy….this stand up role model. i think we needed to know about all his whores so that we can write him off the list of celebs that have character…but the rest? none of our business.
February 25th, 2010 at 11:31 am
I’m totally with you, I just really don’t understand all of this fuss! At the same time, I get that even if we don’t care the media does and has so much sway over how people are presented. If a celebrity doesn’t publicly apologize they can be labeled defiant and demonized. I think that the title of your post is apt: its not our business, but it is a business move. I could just do without the theatrics.
February 25th, 2010 at 11:39 am
I agree that it is pretty ridiculous for them to apologize to US even if that person is seen as a “role model”. The publicity around such things makes me sick. This is a big reason I avoid celebrity gossip and the news. It’s just full of negativity and ugliness.
I do think that Tiger is or was portrayed as a douchebag idiot. But then again, I think cheating is stupid and wrong and those doing it are bound to get caught- especially those in the limelight.
February 25th, 2010 at 11:54 am
It’s none of my business, and honestly I barely care. I’ve never been fascinated with celebrities or fame itself. I’ve never wanted to be famous. An almost anonymous life is a wonderful thing.
February 25th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
I don’t care very much about this whole thing. I didn’t watch the press conference and I don’t know a lot of the details.
But, I do disagree when you say that his performance on the golf course is our business, and that’s it. This guy has made his millions out of selling a particular image to the masses. He built up a reputation, got sponsorships based on that reputation, and attempted to influence millions of people to buy certain things and make certain choices based on that reputation. And the reputation isn’t just that he’s good at golf. It was also that he was a good, upstanding, family man.
So the moment he invited us into his personal life in an attempt to sell us an image, and received millions upon millions of dollars in return, I think he made his personal life our business. At least for those of us who care about that sort of thing.
February 25th, 2010 at 12:37 pm
I am with you in that this whole thing was really nothing that any of us needed to know. I was talking to a bi-racial co-worker about it the other day and we both agreed that the main drive behind his public apology was for his corporate sponsorship. Said co-worker also said that since Tiger Woods has become an icon in golf because of the combination of his skill and his race, he “needs to set the record straight with him community” and it’s children. Not sure how I feel about that last part, since he never signed up to be part of any race but instead signed up to play golf, but I get where she’s coming from.
February 25th, 2010 at 12:38 pm
I do not think celebrities need to apologize to the general public at all. I could care less (despite my rampant celebrity gossip consumption, I don’t form grudges or anything). But for Tiger, his career is all about his image and being able to sell products to people so I totally get why he did the public apology.
February 25th, 2010 at 12:46 pm
I think because it’s none of my business, and doesn’t really impact my life, I haven’t really cared. I even refused to buy People magazine at the airport last week b/c it was all about Elin and Tiger and since this started, I haven’t cared and weeks later, I don’t care, so i wasn’t gonig to waste money on that cover story.
February 25th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
eh, i didn’t watch his apology conference because i really DON’T care, about him or golf or anything involving him. but i sure as hell don’t feel SORRY for him -- i wouldn’t feel sorry for a random (non-famous) coworker if it got out that he’d been cheating on his wife and kids with dozens of other women for years and years, either. that’s horrifying behavior on ANY level. i don’t need an apology from tiger about his, but i’m also not exactly feeling bad for him.
i don’t think it’s surprising that people are drawn in by the story, though -- imagine if you DID find out that some coworker of yours had been cheating openly on his wife with 15 different women, wouldn’t everyone at work gossip about it? it’s human nature.
February 25th, 2010 at 1:41 pm
I didn’t watch and I don’t really care. I don’t watch TMZ or read Gawker or Pop Sugar or tabloids and I don’t give a sh*t whether Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are dating. I was flipping through People while getting a pedicure on Saturday and had to put it down. It just doesn’t interest me and feels downright invasive. I’m always happy when a celebrity (not to be confused with public official) wins a suit against the paparazzi.
That being said, I agree with those who have mentioned that Woods sold us an image and that his actions are contrary to that image. However, he’s not a Senator (I’m looking at you Vitter…and you Craig) whose hypocrisy could affect me in any way, so I think the financial punishment he is undoubtedly suffering is both sufficient and appropriate.
February 25th, 2010 at 1:45 pm
I can see both sides of this argument—people choose to be celebrities and shouldn’t be surprised when their lives are tabloid fodder. I agree with Sizz in that Tiger chose to sell an image.
Still, I think this is yet another example of where the onus needs to fall on PEOPLE. Why are they idolizing celebrities? Why do you look up to Tiger Woods—a man, not a god—as someone to emulate. People make mistakes. I guess I feel like celebrity culture has gotten wayyyy out of control in America—people put models, actors, athletes on pedastals and gossip magazines, sites, etc. are successful due to a national obsession. I will admit to liking to read them occasionally, but when people begin regarding celebrity in general as anything other than a silly bit of fun, we run into problems like this one.
Longest comment EVER, sorry. GREAT post, Nilsa!
February 25th, 2010 at 3:08 pm
I don’t think that Tiger’s personal life is anyone’s business but his own but I do feel like people aren’t wrong to feel betrayed. He chose to sell an image. He could have played golf and ignored the endorsements but instead he cashed the paycheque, he sold the image of a good, family man, and now he needs to deal with the backlash. The situation is just creepy on so many different levels.
February 25th, 2010 at 4:52 pm
It is so completely none of my (or anyone’s) business. A few decades ago, it wouldn’t have even made news. Tons of celebrities had well known affairs (Spencer Tracy) or multiple wives (Cary Grant) and it didn’t affect their careers one iota. But now, with the advent of TMZ and everyone having a phone on their camera, it’s so easy for everyone to be all up in your business. It’s sad.
February 25th, 2010 at 9:27 pm
I don’t really care for Tiger. I think what he did was wrong, but I would think that regardless of how famous he was. I haven’t paid much attention to it. I used to be an avid reader of people.com but I just don’t have the time to keep up anymore so am really out of the loop on what is happening with celebrities.
I would never want to be a celebrity. Giving up your privacy is not worth any amount of fame or money. No thank you!
February 25th, 2010 at 11:02 pm
I couldn’t watch his press conference because I was working but knew I’d catch the highlights from Twitter. I don’t think what he said really changed what his current situation is and I feel like people have been too intrusive with what they’re publishing because his kids will ultimately suffer down the road. yet, when you’re careless, things happen and come out in the open.
February 25th, 2010 at 11:52 pm
i could give two shits about tiger woods and/or his extramarital relations. sure, you’re a loser if you cheat on your spouse, but i agree the only peeps he should be apologizing to are in his family. it’s totally the prerogative of companies sponsoring him to pull their endorsements if they feel he no longer represents the moral standards of their brand or whatever, but the whole hoopla and press conference was just TOO MUCH. i hate golf, even mini golf. blah!
February 26th, 2010 at 7:56 am
I feel unique in that I’m the one male sports fan in the world that doesn’t give a crap about Tiger and his apology and just wishes he would disappear and did not watch a second of his BS media event. All of that crap was staged to the nanosecond. Why bother? I don’t see how any of it could come off as genuine or heartfelt.
February 26th, 2010 at 9:34 am
Um, awkward. That’s how I feel about it. Why did he have to make a public apology TO US? I think the “role model” status has been put on him so people can hear all the tawdry details and pretend like they’re better than him. I think we Americans have a holier-than-thou complex.
I don’t even want to know about his personal life to be honest and wish I didn’t. Let him be a great golfer. What he does in his spare time (unless it’s, you know, stabbing people or something) is his business.
February 28th, 2010 at 11:10 pm
I couldn’t agree with you more. Why do we care? It really is none of our business and to be honest, outside of hearing all of the Tiger jokes which my BF finds hilarious (*rolling eyes*), I haven’t stayed up on what has been going on.
March 1st, 2010 at 9:20 am
You’re absolutely right, and there’s a similar situation going on in the UK right now -- one of England’s top footballers just got caught for cheating on his celeb wife, and it was the hottest story of the week. It doesn’t affect any of us personally nor does it affect their ability to do their job. Does it? Perhaps; if their job involves being in the public eye and relying on public support, then perhaps, to some extent, the public should be privy to the character of the person they’re supposed to be cheering for. You’re right in the office analogy: my dirty dishes and arguments with friends in no way affect my performance at work, however my work doesn’t involve performing for the masses. I think that’s why it’s so “news worthy” when the secrets come out -- if your job is to perform, then surely your audience would be disappointed in you if you made choices that let them down.
I think it’s also so “newsworthy” because the masses love to see the rich and famous have problems just like our own. As bad as it sounds, a lot of people take relief in the knowledge that the problems of celebrities are no different than some of their own.
March 5th, 2010 at 5:56 pm
Yes he was a public figure and the amount of extamarital affairs he had were more numerous than say David Letterman or some recent political figures, but in the end, I don’t think he needed to make it public. At some point, something that personal, should remain personal. Because from our media frenzy state of society, famous or not, we all need to find a way to keep some things private and out of the public.