Neighborhood
It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
The other week, in my quest to read more, I read a short, but interesting article in The Atlantic about neighborhoods. A long time ago, there was a mass exodus from cities, citing overcrowding, traffic and a host of other reasons. People retreated to the suburbs, where traffic was light, houses were built on large plots of land and life was simpler. Today, however, the suburbs are no longer what they once were; many have the same overcrowding issues that cities face. These issues have pushed a segment of the suburban crowds even further out into what once would have been considered the country, but is now being developed into peripheral suburbs.
The author noted something interesting. Those suburbs that offer pedestrian friendly shopping areas and forms of mass or public transit fared better during the recent housing crisis than those that don’t. The author went on to point out that mass transit takes years to develop when using federal funds, and suggested developers should consider funding light rail when they develop new neighborhoods as a way to lure buyers.
I was intrigued by this concept to say the least. It makes sense. It resonated with me. I talked to Sweets about it. I thought some more. Not in an activist kind of way, but just in an intrigued way.
It’s a neighborly day in this beautywood,
A neighborly day for a beauty,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
A few days after reading that article, Sweets and I were in line at Whole Foods when a particular magazine caught my eye. This magazine, Good, had a whole issue devoted to the idea of neighborhoods and what we can do to cultivate them. It called to me. I had to buy it.
I read through articles highlighting neighborhoods and cities around the country that nourish relations between neighbors. An article discussing investing in local businesses instead of Fortune 500 ones. Articles suggesting ways to get to know your neighbors (share your yard, throw a block party or even just ask a neighbor to borrow a tool). The magazine even highlighted neighborhoods turned ghost towns.
I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you,
I’ve always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.
And then it sort of struck me why I was so fascinated with all these articles about neighborhoods and what people do to cultivate them. Sweets and I made a very specific decision when we left our previous neighborhood and moved to our current one. Our previous neighborhood had lots of high rises, big sprawling streets, lots of anonymity amongst its residents. Although it was a cool and trendy part of town, it didn’t feel like what I’d define as a neighborhood.
When we decided to move to our current neighborhood, we did so because the buildings are smaller, the streets are lined with trees, it quiets down at night. It feels like a neighborhood. Even though we didn’t know whether we’d befriend our actual neighbors, we moved because it just felt different than where we previously lived.
To top it off, we moved into a building that couldn’t be more neighborly. We’ve become extremely good friends with our immediate neighbors who share our floor. But, really, we are quite friendly with others in our building and on our street. I’ve called multiple neighbors when in need of an egg or cup of sugar. We take in each other’s mail when traveling out of town. We share each other’s cleaning ladies. One neighbor is currently in school to become a yoga instructor and is offering us free class time while she practices her instruction skills. And we have doggie playdates in our front yard on a regular basis.
To me, this is the epitome of neighborhood. It’s a place where you know your neighbors, not just by face, but by name and likes/dislikes and you might even socialize with them. You can rely on them to have your back during good times and bad. It’s a place you look forward to returning each night after work. And sometimes a place you choose to stay to socialize rather than going out to do the same thing. We are really, extremely lucky that we fell into the neighborhood where we are.
So, let’s make the most of this beautiful day,
Since we’re together, we might as well say,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won’t you be my neighbor?
Tell me about your neighborhood – what makes it a neighborhood? Do you feel neighborly with your neighbors? Would you be willing to make an effort to get to know them if it meant having an experience like mine or would you rather be somewhat anonymous in your home setting?
Lyrics from Mr. Rogers
June 21st, 2010 at 6:40 am
I live in a very blue collar neighborhood. The neighborhood as a whole is generally OK, with the ever present “junky house” people every now and again on some streets (it’s an old “beach” neighborhood, even though we don’t live by a beach…but we do live by an inlet that eventually leads to the Chesapeake Bay). I LOVE, LOVE, LURRRRVE my neighbors. They are the greatest. We always have chats when we’re outside (their kids call me Miss Monica), I can call on them to watch my house when I’m away or check on the dog in a rare pinch. We all look after my elderly neighbor and shoveled her snow all together this winter. We give each other Christmas gifts. Since I live alone, I call on the husbands to help out with things every now and again (heavy lifting, etc). Everyone is wonderful! A couple weeks ago, my neighbor (a plumber), installed a new garbage disposal for me. His wife brought over their 3 mo. old daughter for me to have “baby time”. He saved me time, money and hassle, it was awesome! I will be sad to move away from these neighbors when I do get to FL, but I hope I will find good ones there! Happy Monday and have a great week (tell the peanut to behave this week…HA).
June 21st, 2010 at 7:12 am
Oh boy, I so do not live in a “neighborhood”. I live out in suburbia because when I purchased my condo, the market was near it’s peak so this was the best option in my price range. I live in a really pretty area with biking trails and lakes and wooded areas, but am 20 minutes from downtown, so it’s a decent location… but I live in senior citizen central. So it’s a safe “neighborhood” but I have yet to actually meet a single neighbor and I have lived here for nearly 5 years. Which I Feel a bit sheepish about. I am not home very much though and just kind of stick to myself when I am home. My neighbors that live on either side of me are nice, and we exchange pleasantries when we see each other in the mail room. But that’s it!
When I buy my next place, I definitely want to buy in a different area that is a better fit for my lifestyle. I’d like to actually know my neighbors!
June 21st, 2010 at 7:16 am
We too are lucky enough to have a great neighborhood. We’ve only been here for 10 months but withing 6 hours, we were invited to a party and the husband was invited golfing! And we had met basically everybody on the street within a week. Our old neighborhood? We lived there 5 years and only knew about 3 people. I think it’s party because the new neighborhood has kids, which gets everyone outside more and just naturally there is more interaction. But I’ll admit, I was worried when we moved in because you really never know what the neighbor situation will be like! It’s kind of a… fancy place, this neighborhood, and we are NOT fancy people, heh. So I was anxious that we wouldn’t fit in and everyone would be snotty (maybe that’s mean to think, but it’s the truth!) Imagine our happy surprise when we found welcoming neighbors with motorcycles and beer and tools to share (without us even asking!) and they’re already making fat jokes to me while I’m pregnant ;) (which is totally fine with me! ha) We are so so so happy we moved here.
June 21st, 2010 at 7:52 am
I adore my neighborhood. Its a quiet dead end street where the neighbors check up on each other, keep an eye one things when one or the other is out of town, and come over to visit when we see each other out. I hope I can always live in a neighborhood thats similar.
June 21st, 2010 at 8:04 am
I live in suburbia right now and love it. Considering it’s where I did a lot of my growing up, I know many of the people on our cul-de-sac (though quite a few are aging and/or spend a lot of their time out of town), and others throughout the neighborhood. I go to the neighborhood events, always wave to people when I’m on a walk and generally feel content there.
When I’ve lived in apartment buildings I’ve only ever known my neighbors as “the loud couple who has a lot of sex at 2am,” “the stoner who lives across the hall,” “the lady with the dog that won’t stop barking,” and that’s about it. There was never any getting to know you kind of business and I think it’s because they preferred to keep to themselves.
When I move I’d like to find a sense of community, so we will see :)
June 21st, 2010 at 8:24 am
I love our area in the city. It is near the L and Metra and a number of shops and places to eat. Plus the farmers market is down the street from us.
We are “neighborly” but most of my neighbors are a it younger so they gather a lot to drink and hang out. I am sure that we are welcome but, I just can’t do it. We get along with mostly everyone and everyone we bump into will stop and chat.
June 21st, 2010 at 9:13 am
we have a great neighborhood….albeit, small. it’s a great place to be. we tend to have a “pond side” and another side to our neighborhood and each one of these sides wants different things taken care of and their priorities are different when it comes to the HOA. it can make it a little tense at meetings, but all in all, it’s a great place. we spend almost one night a weekend, every weekend at our neighbors house. they are the most wonderful couple with three of the best kids ever. two moms raising the most well behaved children i’ve ever seen.
June 21st, 2010 at 9:34 am
Our neighborhood feels pretty neighborly to me. We are very close with our next-door neighbors on one side, and quite friendly with the next-door neighbors on the other side too. We don’t know our other neighbors as well but we do chat with them occasionally. And, I’m hoping to expand our neighborhood friendships once we have kids and hopefully meet neighbors with kids of similar age.
June 21st, 2010 at 10:12 am
*tries to hold back from writing 20,000 words*
My degree is in city politics with a focus on city planning, so I spent whole years learning about what builds a neighborhood, how areas become safe and vibrant, and how that effects the blocks around them. I could talk for hours about this!! lol
I’m a firm believer that what makes a neighborhood feel like a neighborhood is having all kinds of people coming into the area for different reasons at different times of the day. When I look around really vibrant areas I always see it: early morning coffee shops, shops for people to visit during the day, and theatres, restaurants, and laundromats for people to use at night. People are always on the street and interacting, and as a result people take ownership.
While I understand why the suburbs exist, it’s kind of no wonder to me that they’re starting to fall apart. In so many there’s nothing to draw people out into starting a community, and the design of cul de sacs and walking paths are to pull people away from being seen by traffic, and commerce is kept out so the only people who are ever there are other suburban insiders.
They’re fascinating to look at, but I’m much more of a city girl. Give me everything I need within walking distance and I’m a happy camper :)
June 21st, 2010 at 10:56 am
I live in a very Polish/Italian suburban neighborhood. It is a good combination of Yuppie and Blue Collar. We are very neighborly. And the families on my block look out for me because I am a single girl living alone (well, living with my sister who is not much help with home stuff.) I don’t know if all areas are like this, but in Norther NJ our neighborhoods are still very divided by a shared heritage or nationality -- even after 3 or 4 generations.
One of the reasons that living in the city doesn’t appeal to me is that I think I will lose that neighborhood feel. But I guess you just proved to me that you can maintain that feel in city.
Hope your trip was fun!
June 21st, 2010 at 11:46 am
Hyde Park is NOT neighborly and I hate it. I’ve tried to get to know my neighbors in my little 20-unit apt building and no one is friendly. Most of them are students, only here or there for a year or two, and it’s been hard to even get a “hello” out of people. The neighborhood is very walkable (because we don’t have a train, mainly) but you can’t really go out at night for fear of getting mugged or shot. I can’t wait to move somewhere else!
June 21st, 2010 at 11:48 am
I think part of what draws me to The Man’s condo is the fact that it feels like a neighborhood. He knows not only the other people in his building, but families in nearby houses and people who work in local businesses. The suburb where he currently lives offers far more anonymity that the condo building and surrounding bars and really doesn’t appeal to me. I like a certain amount of anonymity, but enjoy running into familiar faces in my own little section of the city.
June 21st, 2010 at 12:17 pm
I live in super-suburbia. Our street is nicknamed “Sesame Street” because so many people have kids and they do things like play in the middle of the street, run up and down to each others houses, set up lemonade stands. It’s like I live in a neighborhood in the 1960′s, but with shorter shorts and more skateboards.
That being said, we’re still the newbies of the neighborhood, and it’s taking us a while to crack the group. We’re slowly breaking in, but it’s slow going because most of these families have known each other for years and years, so we’re the odd ones out. But I really WANT to be friendly with them all--that’s part of why we moved to where we did!
June 21st, 2010 at 1:31 pm
I feel the same way about wanting to live in a neighborhood. The “feel” that we got from the neighborhood of the place we put the offer in (and then lost) was exactly what we are looking for. Hopefully we are able to find another house in a similar-type neighborhood.
June 21st, 2010 at 1:44 pm
oh man, i am in exactly the kind of suburbia that seems to practically *prevent* neighborhood feels. after 2.5 years living in my condo, i now recognize the people on my hall… and that’s it. it’s ridiculous.
June 21st, 2010 at 1:58 pm
We have pretty friendly neighbors, but we don’t do regular activities with any of them really. We know our next door neighbors best and get along with them well, but we still all live our own lives. What I do love best is that I meet a lot of people through all of the various activities and jobs I am involved with and my kids are involved with. I occasionally find that someone I meet and like lives in our subdivision or close by. I start seeing these people more frequently because of proximity and it really starts to foster a sense of community. I love that our suburbs is really a fairly highly populated one, but still maintains a small town feel. Ours has a cute downtown with shops and restaurants where people meet either on purpose or by chance. We have a nice library and pool where you are almost guaranteed to run into people you know. I think the key is (as I mentioned earlier) you really have to get involved with activities in order to get to know your neighbors around here.
June 21st, 2010 at 2:37 pm
I live in a sad neighbourhood. The area where we live is in a transition mode. When we moved in 2.5 years ago, we were in 1 of only 4 highrise buildings -- the rest of the housing in our small downtown area were old, poorly maintained 4-storey woodframe buildings. The city has really pushed for development, though, and now there are 12 new highrise buildings in our immediate area. Also, old heritage buildings have been restored and the main street is getting a bit of a face lift. It’s a slow process but one we’re hoping will pay off. There is still a huge drug problem in our area and the property crime that goes along with it but hopefully in 5 years our neighbourhood will be completely different than it is now.
June 21st, 2010 at 2:51 pm
By way of a story--right away when we moved to southern VA the neighbors threw a multiblock open house party to welcome just us. No joke. I’ll never get over the people we met and knew there. It is an old manufacturing center though and will likely go the way of ghost towns for lack of work. If there was a job market less than an hour away we’d have stayed a longer time. I made more good friends in that town in one year than in my whole adult city living life combined. That being said, I do love being in the city most of all. You cannot beat the energy. You definitely have to make your own fun in rural places : )
I have found that there are cool people everywhere. Some places just hide them better than others.
June 21st, 2010 at 3:20 pm
It is funny because when I lived in my townhouse I didn’t really connect too much with my neighbors. Except the older gentleman who lived next door.
When I moved in with my husband we live in an older neighborhood home wise and most of the neighbors are older than us by 10-15 years. I love our neighbors. Our next door neighbors are amazing, we talk over the fence, have dinner together, let our dogs say hello, help each other, and even borrow a cup of sugar. And the other neighbors around us say hello or wave. J has helped them with things from time to time. And our kitchen was built by one of our former neighbors.
So I’d say we have a wonderful neighborhood because of our connections.
June 21st, 2010 at 3:52 pm
My old apartment building was fairly neighborly, but my apartment complex now is home to many who don’t speak English very well, which makes it hard to become good neighbors. But they all have super cute kiddos and everyone loves saying hi to the kids, so in that way it feels really friendly. A couple of my boyfriend’s co-workers live in our complex, too, so they are our closest neighbors.
I look forward to someday living in a neighborhood where everyone knows each other, the kids play together, and families watch out for other families. It’s how I grew up and I hope that my children have that as well.
June 21st, 2010 at 5:37 pm
I love this. I crave this. I know my across-the-hall-for-3.5-years neighbors…and that’s about it. Really. I spy on my other neighbors all the time, but rarely (if ever) speak to them.
xox
June 21st, 2010 at 6:47 pm
I live in a very residential neighbourhood but only 0.5 miles away is a bustling area with all the necessities. For right now, I LOVE it because the location is so good and central. Eventually I’d like to move further out of town and into the suburbs where it’s not quite so ‘bustling’!
June 21st, 2010 at 9:58 pm
In theory I would love to know my neighbours better. In practice, I run and hide from them. When I’m tired at the end of the day, I want my privacy. When I’m on my way out on the weekend, I don’t want to stop and chat -- that would make me late. I don’t garden. I don’t have a driveway to wash a car in. I would have to make a very diligent effort to meet my neighbours, and I’m just a little too introverted to go there.
Life would be very different if I had dog!
June 21st, 2010 at 11:10 pm
Since I rent and live in a high rise apartment building, I really don’t know my neighbors at all and actually try to keep it that way. I know none of us will stay here too long and will move on elsewhere so I don’t think any of us try to bond and go on about our own everyday routine.
June 22nd, 2010 at 1:05 pm
Nilsa, if I didn’t know better I would swear you were southern. You’re so hospitable! I think I’ve mentioned on here before that I sort of avoid my neighbors… :) I think that will change when I move into an actual house -- but maybe not because Mr. W’s neighbors are hippies and we hate them. Someday I’ll be part of a neighborhood, someday. And until then, I’ll loan eggs to my blog friends.
June 22nd, 2010 at 4:04 pm
We love our house and the area we live in, but we’ve struggled to connect with our neighbors. They are all friendly enough, but even when we made an effort to reach out, we felt like we were intruding. So, we do the neighborly wave and we chat about yard work when we’re all outside, but that’s about it. I would love the chance to get to know everyone better, but I’m not too broken up about it. Hopefully, when the girls and I go to the park, we can meet some friendly neighborhood faces!
July 2nd, 2010 at 11:31 pm
When we 1st visited Chicago looking for a place to live I thought I wanted a “neighborhood”. Smaller buildings, tree-lined streets, etc. Because of the short amount of lead time we had we ended up in a mid-rise in the South Loop and we love it! We don’t have a traditional neighborhood, but our building feels like it’s own neighborhood. Little Ricky and I have play dates with other moms & kiddos in the building. We’re friends with other tenants. We chit chat with casual acquaintances on the elevator. It’s really great. I think we’re lucky that we have a “neighborhood” in a not-so traditional setting.
P.S. Officially catching up on all my blog reading. Forgive the million and one comments! :)
July 6th, 2010 at 11:43 am
I’m with Lucy…forgive me for the late (and long) comments :)
You know where we live and we moved to our neighborhood for many of the same reasons you chose yours (actually “ours” since we’re almost in the same one as you!). I adore our neighbors (we have a great block party at the end of the month that I refuse to miss). I love being able to walk to nearly everything and once that Target opens at Montrose and Broadway, I really will have everything within walking/biking distance.
I enjoyed the Atlantic article and promptly forwarded it to my husband. We’ve had the city vs. suburbs debate for a long while now and, though we are in no position to move, my alliances are becoming more city than suburbs. I’ve shocked even myself. I always imagined myself raising my family in the suburb where I grew up and that plan is changing. I feel so lucky that we landed in a great neighborhood in the city so that if we do stay for a long time, we’re in a great place with great people and amenities.