Bits
It’s not fair that I titled yesterday’s post Chesty and had a post that had nothing to do with my chest. Some of you expressed disappointment. I’m sorry for that. In fact, my boobs were already big to begin with before I got pregnant and I’m particularly thankful they haven’t grown anymore.
While we’re on the subject of pregnancy, there’s been a theme to the questions we’ve been receiving from our friends and family … so, today, I provide you with some baby bits to ease any anxiety you might be feeling (ha) about the unknowns of my pregnancy…
Are we going to find out Grasshopper’s sex? From the start, I said no. From the start, Sweets said yes. All I want is a healthy baby – the sex is irrelevant to me. Sweets thinks he needs months to prepare if we’re having a girl, because he’s not mentally *there* to have one yet. That makes me laugh. I still say no. Plus, I tell him if others find out the sex, then they’ll be more inclined to buy us lots of pink or blue baby stuff … and we’re so not pink and blue parents. For now, Sweets agrees with me (even though I’m sure he’s dying to know).
Do we have names picked out? Yes, one: Grasshopper. I can’t believe people are still asking. I kid. We actually do have a good list of names. In fact, we already have our top picks (first and middle) for a boy’s name and a girl’s name with a bunch of really solid runner-ups.
Do we plan to share the names with family and friends? Absolutely not. This is going to sound gruff, but we don’t want to hear everyone’s opinion of the names we’ve chosen. I like to think we’ve chosen innocuous names (no Hitlers or Osamas). We’ve also tried to steer clear of names already taken by family, friends and their offspring. That said, people will react. And whether they mean any ill will or not, it’s pretty easy to read a reaction. So, we’re remaining mum. Plus, it’s only June. There’s a long road to December and we reserve the right to change our minds. Multiple times, should we choose.
If we’re not pink & blue folks, what colors will we choose for Grasshopper’s room? When we moved into our condo, the second bedroom was painted this lime green color (close to the base color of this blog!). Not my first choice of colors, but it’s actually grown on me. Now that the room will be converted to a nursery, we’re going to leave the green and use turquoise and orange accents (probably some brown in there, too).
Do you have ideas for how you’d like to decorate the room? Yes and no. Sweets and I have lofty goals of making it an urban nursery. Bold colors. Interesting art (not necessarily children’s art, though not inappropriate for children). Minimalist when it comes stuff. And we think Etsy is going to help us achieve part of that vision. Here are some things currently residing in our Favorites bin…
Lightbox
You said you didn’t have any books prior to getting pregnant; what about now? Yes, yes, I have books. Once we found out we were expecting, I ordered What to Expect When You’re Expecting. A neighbor is also letting me borrow her copy of Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. And, per recommendations from a number of friends, we have on hand Baby Bargains to help us determine what we’re going to need in terms of equipment and supplies and Baby 411 to get us ready to bring home baby Grasshopper.
How are you feeling, now that you’re almost finished with your 14th week? Thankfully, I have the morning sickness under control. Part of it has to do with knowing what triggers it (i.e., not enough sleep, not enough food) and part of it surely has to do with moving out of the first trimester and generally just feeling better. Strangely, though, I am also feeling a disconnect from this pregnancy. Early on in pregnancy, the morning sickness (as awful as it is) is a clear reminder you’re pregnant. Later in pregnancy, feeling the baby kick and seeing a noticeable bump are other clear indicators you’re pregnant. Right now? I sort of don’t feel pregnant. In some ways, it’s disconcerting, like how on earth can I forget I’m a big old incubator? But, in other ways, I know it’s just a phase and it will soon pass.
That’s about all from here … any suggestions you have regarding this stage of pregnancy or any insights you have now that you see where our heads are regarding this pregnancy … bring them on!
June 24th, 2010 at 7:56 am
This is great and I’m so glad you’ve decided not to share names. That is just a cause for opinions and anxiety. I love the colors you’ve chosen, those are great! Good luck with everything!
June 24th, 2010 at 8:05 am
I absolutely agree about not sharing the names until the baby is actually named and people can’t/won’t give their opinion as much. With our first we told people, with our twins we did UNTIL we got so many comments that I got fed up and decided not to tell anymore. With my youngest, we did not tell (except the kids, who helped choose his name).
I love that you are doing the colors and style you are doing. Exactly what I was picturing. Did I know the room was green? Because when I was thinking about baby blankets I was tossing around the idea of dyeing some yarn lime green and baby blue.
For what it’s worth I feel like you are having a boy. Also you should know that I am almost always wrong. It used to be that you should listen to what I say and then guess the opposite but now that I know that I sort of waffle around and it isn’t very accurate. But I still feel boy which could either mean boy, or girl (duh! but at least either way I am right, right?)
Tell Sweets that I was absolutely convinced that my oldest was a boy and was prepared for that and so happy because I am so NOT a girly girl and thought I would have no idea what to do with a girl. She is obviously a girl and I figured it all out. At first it’s just a BABY so it doesn’t really matter what it is and then you grow into the rest.
June 24th, 2010 at 8:06 am
I highly recommend this book: The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy: Or everything your doctor won’t tell you
by Vicki Iovine
June 24th, 2010 at 8:07 am
BTW I agree on the not finding out the gender and not sharing names philosophy, even if that made me out to be a selfish person to many family members. Oh well.
June 24th, 2010 at 8:09 am
One last thing. If you aren’t writing down your thoughts somewhere (besides here, the more personal thoughts) START! My kids are constantly asking what things were like when I was pregnant. They want to know what foods I craved, if I felt sick, etc. Luckily I did write it down for each of them and they love looking through and seeing where I was at each point. The book I had was awesome because it told you day by day what the baby would be doing and at the end of each little blurb I would jot a few thoughts down. Let me know if you want the name of it and I’ll look it up.
June 24th, 2010 at 8:09 am
It’s amazing the name judgment AND the gender judgment you get. So far my FIL has expressed disappointment that it’s not a boy to carry on the family name (sorry dude), made comments about how the baby is named and not even here yet, and some of the other family has commented on how her initials will be OJ (who cares?)
We mainly wanted to know to get out of the “it” stage. I felt even more disconnected when I couldn’t at least refer to he or she. But, we’re not pink or blue people either and are actually planning a very gender neutral nursery! And my mom has given me some blue onesies that I will gladly put my daughter in. It’s one of MY favorite colors to wear, why not hers too? ;-)
June 24th, 2010 at 8:12 am
i’m just so happy for you, my friend. so, so happy. i love reading all your posts, but these in particular are making my heart melt!
June 24th, 2010 at 8:17 am
I must admit that I had a little chuckle to myself reading about Sweets not being prepared for a girl -- we do take A LOT of preparation so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt lol!
June 24th, 2010 at 8:18 am
Love the ideas for the nursery; I expected nothing less than awesome from the two of you actually!
Having never been pregnant I have no words of wisdom or tidbits other than you know where to find me if you ever need to chat =)
June 24th, 2010 at 8:19 am
I also don’t want to know the sex of any future babies. I like to think of it as the ultimate surprise!
That mobile is lovely!
June 24th, 2010 at 8:25 am
I think you are wise to not share the names before the baby arrives. People think they can express their opinion about the name when you share it before the baby comes -- but once that name is attached to an adorable baby, people tend to keep their mouth shut if they don’t care for it!
None of my siblings found out the sex of their babies, except when the last one was born. At the ultrasound, the doctor said he was fairly certain it was a girl -- like 80%. Well, after having 3 nephews, I just did not believe it -- nor did my sister-in-law. Everyone else in the family bought girls clothes galore. I didn’t buy a think since I was just so skeptical about it. Low and behold -- it was a boy! My brother said it was a very funny moment in the delivery room as they had pink blankets and a pink hat, etc, etc, and then when Matthew came out into the world there was a very fast switcheroo of all the pink hospital stuff for blue!
June 24th, 2010 at 8:33 am
My husband wants to find out the sex of our children before they’re born and I am absolutely 100% against it. There are so few surprises left in life, you know? Plus! My children will be decked out in greens and yellows despite their sex b/c I’m truly and adamantly against color coding kids!
I have given in and promised the hubs that we will find out the sex of any additional children after the first pregnancy b/c it will be much easier to explain to the first child(ren) that in Mommy’s tummy is a baby brother/sister. :)
June 24th, 2010 at 8:51 am
I think in today’s world there are so few true surprises that not knowing the sex until the baby is born is really exciting. But that is just me. Names are so personally too. Good to keep it a secret. I tend to like more classic traditional names (probably because I was blessed with a old-school Polish first name that teachers didn’t know how to pronounce as a kid) On father’s day my step brother was sharing the names on their list and they were very trendy. I smiled and nodded, but I am sure that they could see what I was thinking.
June 24th, 2010 at 9:02 am
I agree with not knowing the sex of the baby I think it would be a fun surprise. I also think you are smart not to share the names because everyone has an opinion. We even ran into that with our dogs so I can only imagine with a baby what we’d encounter.
I love your nursery color ideas I think that will make a fun nursery. I also agree in the avoiding the blue and pink.
As for names my only advice is try to spell it simply whatever you change. It will still get misspelled but it will help.
Having never been pregnant I can only say enjoy this time!
June 24th, 2010 at 9:03 am
It’s actually a good idea not to share names because you’re right, everyone will have an opinion about it and quite frankly it’s none of their business. Just please don’t name the kid after a fruit or planet!
I love, LOVE the tree painting! Soooo pretty!
From what I understand from my friends who have had babies, the boobs don’t really bust out to another size until after you deliver. As one of my friends told me a few days after she gave birth to her first boy, “OMG! I have porn star boobs!!”
June 24th, 2010 at 9:31 am
Having never been pregnant before I have no tips but I do adore that tree painting!
June 24th, 2010 at 9:33 am
Love, love, love the urban art! Such a cool idea! And those pieces are lovely.
June 24th, 2010 at 9:36 am
I totally know what I am going to make you (and Sweets and Grasshopper) but it would make one of the items on your current list unnecessary. ;-)
I think it is smart to not share names you’re thinking of. Who needs to hear that your friend’s sister’s cousin knew a guy with that name and he was a total asshole?
June 24th, 2010 at 10:01 am
I love how honest you are about this stuff. It makes perfect sense that you wouldn’t feel pregnant right now, but I bet a lot of women are embarrassed that they feel that way because we are told that we should have gut feelings and mother’s intuition and blah blah.
Also, I didn’t express it yesterday but I too thought your post was going to be about boobs!
June 24th, 2010 at 10:03 am
YEAH ETSY!! :)
June 24th, 2010 at 10:36 am
I’m with Sweets…I think I’ll totally want to know the sex! But not share the name until he/she comes out…gotta have some element of surprise!
June 24th, 2010 at 10:38 am
I don’t blame you for not sharing the names. I am totally the name police. I fully admit it. I still can’t get past that my white friends named their kid Yoko. I don’t know where I earned this right to be the name police. LOL. I can’t help myself. I’ve just always had a thing about names. So I always tell people NEVER to tell me the names of their unborn children because I might not be able to hold back.
June 24th, 2010 at 10:45 am
I love that you’re keeping the name to yourselves, I think that’s kind of perfect.
I would definitely want to know the sex before hand- but I may have to issue a press release to anyone I told, banning pink & blue. :)
June 24th, 2010 at 10:53 am
With my first son, we picked out names and told everyone and didn’t find out the sex of the baby until he was born. I also followed a fairly traditional/mainstream parenting path.
With the second son, we — different father than #1 — found out the sex of the baby but didn’t tell anyone (which was funny, because they all said I was giving off girl vibes and dropping girl hints!), and we also didn’t tell anyone the name we’d chosen, since it was unusual (Basil) and we didn’t want any criticism. With him, I (we) practiced attachment parenting, and I have to tell you… it has made all of the difference in the world.
I’d highly suggest checking out The Pregnancy Book by Dr. Sears (and all of the other ones in that series). I think WTEWYE is an OK book, but it’s also a little dogmatic and authoritarian (IMHO) and that was the last thing I needed when I was already worried about a thousand other things.
I’m really excited for you! My older son just turned 13 and the younger is 7, so I’m a bit past all of this baby stuff… I love living vicariously through other people in this regard!
June 24th, 2010 at 10:57 am
My brother and sister in law didn’t tell anyone names either. Because, and he said, “What if he doesn’t LOOK like his name when he comes out?” And I agree.
June 24th, 2010 at 11:09 am
Love the urban nursery idea and the potential colors you’re working. Can’t wait to see photos!
June 24th, 2010 at 11:51 am
I love these kinds of updates. Here would be the things I’ll say:
-My boobs started growing a little in the last part of my 2nd trimester, but they didn’t really bust out until after J was born.
-Don’t be too slavish to What to Expect--it’s a handy book, but it’s also got a LOT of really over-the-top stuff (the diet portion, some of the what can go wrong stuff). I know a lot of moms who freaked out because of that book!
-Love the nursery ideas! And I WHOLEHEARTEDLY endorse Etsy for nursery decor. We had the crib bedding made for a fraction of the cost of what we could have bought, and got to have exactly what fabric and what pieces we wanted.
June 24th, 2010 at 12:22 pm
I guess I should have read this post first before commenting on “Chesty!” I think it’s great you’re not finding out the sex. My sister didn’t know what her first daughter was (the first grandchild in the family!) and it made the delivery room such an exciting place! When they pulled her out and it was a girl, we all cheered. I also think it’s smart you’re not telling anyone your names.
Love the potential baby art, especially the birds painting. I can’t wait to see the nursery when you have it all done. I’m sure it’ll be awesome just like all the rest of your decor!
June 24th, 2010 at 12:27 pm
Totally agree with you on withholding the name! It you say a name and family doesn’t like it, they will be the first to tell you. They will love that same name when they see that baby for the first time. Also jealous you have a name list started. I am struggling as to where to start.
Nursery…..again same page. Pink and Blue? Ummm not my cup of tea either. I am thinking of using etsy for bedding…..white crib sheets and the only color in either a handmade bumper or a crib skirt maybe. But no bedding to speak of either.
June 24th, 2010 at 12:38 pm
I certainly don’t have any insights, but I’m still thrilled for you!
June 24th, 2010 at 1:00 pm
I’m really excited about your nursery. How odd that the strange color (for everyday living) turned out to be usable. You left it up just long enough.
About the names: You are smart cookies. You’ll never be sorry you didn’t share them. Oh my word, the bad behavior was widespread. After we told my Mom the baby’s name she had no less than 3 more conversations giving me other names(hers included of course). Others people’s behavior slightly better than that but telling truly caused a lot of freaking out. Stay strong!! : )
June 24th, 2010 at 1:23 pm
It’s cool that you get to have a little break from feeling pregnant (which often equates to feeling uncomfortable). Enjoy it while it lasts!
June 24th, 2010 at 1:53 pm
So fun! (Just so I don’t look like a weirdo, I found my way here from Jess @Du Wax Loolu).
I love that you’re not planning to find out. We kept the sex of our baby a surprise, and just -- wow. To find out in the moment is mind-blowing. I was CERTAIN I was having a boy, and of course we had a girl (and I agree with your husband -- something about having a girl is hard to swallow!)
And good for you on the names as well. We shared our potential names and got a few bad reactions, but some friends of ours kept theirs entirely secret (as well as not knowing the baby’s sex) and it was just an AWESOME surprise to get that call saying “It’s a girl! Her name is Leah Catherine.” So exciting.
Happy & healthy 9 months to you!
June 24th, 2010 at 1:58 pm
I felt both girls kick for the first time when i was 14 weeks. Be paying attention for those flutters!
and it will PAIN me to not know what grasshopper is until you have him/her. TRULY pain me. But i won’t bug you about it either.
too much anyway. :)
June 24th, 2010 at 3:38 pm
I was seriously bummed when your post yesterday wasn’t about boobs. Boobs are fun! ;-)
I hear ya on not wanting to tell people the names that you guys have thought of….you don’t want people to say something mean about the name. I didn’t even think about the fact that you could also change your mind!
I have to admit….I want to know the sex of the baby….CP does not.
BTW, my favorite painting is the Triptik painting. So pretty!
June 24th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
Oh my goodness -- I LOVE the koi painting. I think it would look fabulous in a nursery.
June 24th, 2010 at 4:24 pm
I love all your “stands” … probably b/c they match mine! I don’t like to know the baby’s gender; the same way I don’t like to know what I’m getting Christmas morning. I know it’s a present; let me have the surprise! There are so few in adult life! In addition, if you have a baby shower, you really don’t want clothes. You want the things you need, and when people know boy/girl, they buy clothes. (on the selfish side: once that baby makes his/her grand entrance, you’re yesterday’s news -- enjoy the attention and focus on you while it lasts!) Names? I won’t even tell you the names we considered and decided against. Nursery? We move so frequently, I’ve never had one. Slap something cute on the wall, get a crib bumper and a cute bunny for the dresser and you’re set. I’m into the baby -- not the stuff. Baby books? I read them for a while and then stopped. There’s too much detail (good and bad) and it would get me all wound up. At a certain point, that was daddy-duty. I didn’t want to worry about every little thing; so he read it and would listen to my gripes and let me know if I should worry or if it was normal -- it also gave him a great basis to contribute to the whole experience. Enjoy Nilsa -- it’s a fantastic experience. :)
June 24th, 2010 at 8:35 pm
I love that you’re not telling people the names. In a time when people are just programmed to think that they deserve to know so much about others, its nice to have something to keep to yourself.
I think I would find out what the sex was though. I have a friend who was pregnant with twins, she wanted to know and her husband didn’t so she found out and he found out when they were born. I wouldn’t trust myself to keep that big of a secret though.
June 24th, 2010 at 8:40 pm
I love it that folks are moving away from the precious and adorable nursery look. I love your ideas for bold colors and artwork.
A few of my friends didn’t tell anyone the names they had chosen (and one of them didn’t find out the sex, either). It made it that much more exciting when the little ones made their debut! I think it’s a great idea.
June 24th, 2010 at 9:23 pm
I absolutely know what you mean about the early 2nd trimester disconnect! Once the pukey feeling goes away, but before you can feel the baby moving, and your belly isn’t really showing yet… it’s a weird phase. Thankfully it doesn’t last too long, pretty soon you’ll start feeling movement and wow is that the coolest :)
June 24th, 2010 at 10:21 pm
I’m so undecided if I would want to know the sex. Part of me says yes and part says no. Maybe for the first one I’d find out and keep the second secret :)
June 25th, 2010 at 8:18 am
I imagine that if I were to have a baby I’d want to know the sex just to know it. I’m not sure I’d share it with others though. And I hear you on the pink and blue — enough with that already!
I love the artwork you’ve found, especially the birds. I can’t wait to see how you put it all together!
June 25th, 2010 at 4:47 pm
I can’t wait to see how you decorate grasshopper’s room. You have such great taste it will be fab!
I wouldn’t want to know the sex or tell the name too. Where is the fun in THAT?!
June 26th, 2010 at 9:13 am
We are not pink and blue people either, and that has really frustrated me when looking for clothes for the girls. People are also scandalized that we’re painting the nursery a color other than pink. It’s actually currently a horrific shade of pink that we never dealt with when we moved in…and everyone just assumed we were going to keep it. Nope. We had our lovely, neutral bedding picked out long before we knew we were having girls, and I just adore it.
June 29th, 2010 at 11:06 am
Dude, my daughter’s room is lime green and we did the same thing you’re planning to do. Enough with all the silly cutesy crap. Eff Winnie the Pooh, I say!
I love that koi painting!
AND, don’t find out the sex. I didn’t know what either of my babies were, and it was *the most wonderful* moment to hear my husband finally say “IT’S A GIRL!!” I highly recommend waiting until the big day.
July 21st, 2010 at 6:57 am
I think I, like Sweets, would be dying to know the sex too. The colors for the nursery sound great and that tree, 3 part, painting, is awesome!