Bomb
So, the other day, I received an email that was like someone dropped a bomb. No, it wasn’t that someone close to me died, was getting divorced or lost their job. No, it had nothing to do with the death of George Steinbrenner, the jailing of Lindsay Lohan or the psychotic babblings of Mel Gibson. Nope, for me, this one just might rank higher on the music charts.
My mother joined Facebook.
Do you know what this means to me? I mean, let’s face it, it’s not like I’ve got photos posted of me doing keg stands or friends reveling in last week’s all-night binder at the club or me posting status updates of my plans to party like it’s 1999 (at least I don’t think I do – maybe I should check?). My life isn’t nearly that fascinating. Hasn’t been for years (or ever, mom + dad, if you’re reading this).
But, my mom will now know that I spend time in bars described as Hooters on crack (hello Tilted Kilt) and get protein fixes from Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (fact, sometimes) and support endeavors like HotMamaBodyShop.com (for the record, a friend is starting this endeavor for pregnant mamas who want to stay fit) and like groups with names like The Needle Shop (and no, it has nothing to do with drug habits).
My life has been exposed. To my mother. Now, she will know how snarky I am when traffic annoys me and that I readily join groups like “Intelligent, classy, well-educated women who say F*ck a lot.”
With all this recent Facebook news about security settings, they must have one I can turn on, a form of Parental Controls. One that turns shit into sugar and shut the fuck up into shut the front door. Things so I don’t have to watch what I say or eat. Until then, I feel like I need to go wash my mouth out with soap and put my white gloves back on.
Anyone else ever have this feeling when you find out someone has joined Facebook and is friending you? Or that someone least expected is reading your blog?
(For the record, it is a fact my mom joined Facebook. However, am I really all that concerned about her presence there? Nah, not really. She can hide my status updates if she doesn’t like them – that is, if she can figure out how to hide them!)
July 14th, 2010 at 5:53 am
Welcome to hell.
July 14th, 2010 at 7:09 am
I ignored my mom’s friend request about 6 times before I finally gave in (mostly because I would post pictures of my nephew and it was a way for her to see them). It was annoying at first, because she has no idea how to use FB (i.e. she would write comments on statuses that were totally unrelated: Example status from my cousin: “Took two hours to get to work today”. Mom mom’s reply to it:”I hear you have a new boyfriend! Spill!!”. The kicker is, there is no new boyfriend, so my mom got my cousin’s 5 billion friends riled up for nothing!). The newness of FB has worn off for her, though and now she doesn’t really comment anymore, which is good. Hope you and Grasshopper are having a great week!
July 14th, 2010 at 7:54 am
Dear Nilsa:
As Mon indicated, I too have no idea how Facebook works, it will take me weeks to figure out what a wall is and how to write on it.
Love, Mom
July 14th, 2010 at 7:58 am
My parents, step-parents, grandparents, and in-laws…all on Facebook. At first, I was mortified. Now? It’s kind of a nice way to keep them in the loop.
July 14th, 2010 at 8:31 am
My 83 year old grand mother in England joined facedbook about a year before she passed. Honestly? I loved it. I appreciated that she was willing to learn something new so she could stay connected with all her family.
Now, when my mother-in-law joined? That was a completely different story.
July 14th, 2010 at 8:40 am
Ahh the great parental invite to FB. Yep, I got that one a few months ago. My mom joined to see what all the fuss was about! Then she got bored and I don’t think that she has logged on in ages.
July 14th, 2010 at 8:41 am
LOL. I remember when my mom joined facebook. It was about 2 years ago and it was shortly after my sister had returned forma spring break vacation with her boyfriend-now-husband. I sent her a message that basically said -- “mom’s on facebook, clean up your photos. Signed, your Prude of a Sister” There wasn’t anything all that risque on there but there some pictures where it essentially looked like she was in the middle of a make out session… Um, who needs to see that crap? I certainly don’t want to and I KNEW my mom would not be impressed.
When I came back to the company I work for, I got together with an old co-worker and someone in the conversation he said something, ‘oh that’s right, I knew you did that as I read that on your blog.’ I had no idea he read it. Kind of shocked me!
July 14th, 2010 at 9:20 am
My brother is the only one on Facebook at the moment and frankly he should worry more about what I see regarding him than the other way around. Let’s just say his friends bring cameras everywhere (including pub crawls).
My boss and most of the rest of my co-workers are on Facebook so I watch what I say and what pictures I post. But I really don’t have anything that I do that my co-workers couldn’t see.
July 14th, 2010 at 9:27 am
I’m so over Facebook, especially since now everyone and their mom is on (literally!). But I still can’t make myself quit it. I like to use it to keep track of friends and old classmates who are now far away.
July 14th, 2010 at 9:31 am
“Intelligent, classy, well-educated women who say F*ck a lot.” — I need to find and join said group.
I started a “Block” list on facebook for such people who make me have to second guess my own facebook activities. The list can only see my basic information and select pictures — that way, when someone and I confirm friends (sounds so silly, “will you be my friend?”), I simply add them to my “Block List” and don’t have to worry about them knowing too much ;) The list is mostly comprised of little old church ladies and co-workers!
July 14th, 2010 at 9:35 am
Oh man…I am so happy my mom eschews Facebook and my dad isn’t too uptight. Though, I have former students on there so I try to keep it fairly calm over there…
July 14th, 2010 at 9:43 am
My mom joined Facebook a few months ago and I laughed….and then went through all of my pictures to make sure that there wasn’t anything kosher up. She doesn’t go on very much anymore and frankly, compared to my sister and what she posts on FB? I’m an angel.
July 14th, 2010 at 10:12 am
My mom joined FB last year. I figured, if she reads my blog she won’t see anything new. ;-) Though I have been taken aback when I discover someone is reading my blog- like a Board of Directors member from my work. Eek! Good thing I don’t blog about work.
July 14th, 2010 at 10:21 am
My mom has a Facebook account, but I’m convinced she doesn’t really know how to use it. I’m not sure she logs on all that often.
Because so many different people from so many different times of my life have joined Facebook, I really don’t update very often and I censor what I say when I do. It’s such a mish-mash of people. Eesh. I wish I could have a completely different profile for different people.
July 14th, 2010 at 10:22 am
My step-mother joined FB and I promptly blocked her from any photos and status updates--I’m find with (almost) perfect-strangers knowing intimate details about my life, but the idea of her knowing makes me skin crawl.
My mom doesn’t know how to send an email, so I’m safe there for the next, oh, 30 years or so.
xox
July 14th, 2010 at 10:41 am
My mother refuses to “join”…she just hacks into my account and my sister’s account whenever she pleases!! (Although I did recently change my password, so now I think she only has access through my poor sister.) She claims she just wants to see photos. Uh huh. Suuuuuuure.
July 14th, 2010 at 10:43 am
I am totally going to have peanut butter cups as a mid-morning snack. Not kidding, I bought them last night for just that purpose.
July 14th, 2010 at 10:47 am
ha! and your dad is already on there, right?
i feel the same way about my dad- my mom is on there but it’s not the same. im not hiding anything from my dad, i just feel funny about him seeing me swearing and talking about i dunno, men with good hair?
July 14th, 2010 at 10:58 am
Ok, my question is: how Facebook-savvy is your Mom? Because if you block her from seeing certain things, she might not even notice… that way you can keep a little privacy :)
I know I dreaded adding my MIL on Facebook, but I eventually did, because I didn’t want to “offend” her… then again, I am not using Facebook ALL THAT MUCH, so it doesn’t really matter (but I did protect some of the content from her eyes seeing it ;)).
Good luck!
July 14th, 2010 at 11:36 am
My mom and dad and grandpa and grandma and numerous aunts and uncles are on facebook! Haha. But, the only one who ever checks it regularly is my grandpa and one time, in my second year of college and all my immaturity I came home at 4 am from the bar and posted:
“Amber is drunk… and NAKED. HAHAHAHAHAHA” as my status. And my lovely ole’ grandpa who gets up at the crack of dawn every day checked Facebook and saw it and told my whole family! *sigh* Haha.
July 14th, 2010 at 11:48 am
My mom is on FB but barely knows how to use it, and I wish she did. FB does not worry me too much because I don’t do too much on it, you know? I do wonder who reads what I write on my blog though!
July 14th, 2010 at 11:59 am
“Shut the front door.” I haven’t heard that one in ages. I love it! Perfect for work.
I know how it is -- nothing against my mom, but she’s my MOM. I don’t think we ever grow out of feeling extra-selfconscious around our mothers. It’s not the mom that the problem, it’s that self-consciousness.
July 14th, 2010 at 12:16 pm
my mom joined facebook. i denied her friend request. :-)
July 14th, 2010 at 12:17 pm
You should de-friend her. LOL. Not really. I am pretty careful on Facebook to only say things that I wouldn’t mind my dad reading. I can save the wild drunken sex stuff for twitter. ;-)
July 14th, 2010 at 12:19 pm
My mom isn’t on facebook but Shawn’s mom is! I’ve just set my profile so that some people are severely limited in what they can see.
July 14th, 2010 at 12:42 pm
This? Is why I keep Facebook super-duper incredibly generic. Because not only is my mom on facebook, so are both my living grandmothers, my 14 year old half sisters, every aunt on my dad’s side of the family, my step-mother, and my mother in law.
This? Is part of why I don’t join groups or become fans of things or any of that stuff on Facebook.
July 14th, 2010 at 1:27 pm
Co-workers on Facebook always creeped me out. I like to keep my work life and my personal life separate, and my online life (Facebook, Twitter, blog) definitely falls under personal. I had security set up to block some stuff, but it still irritated me that they’d stop by my office and ask why I hadn’t accepted their friend request yet, or stop by to tell me about pictures of their kids ballgame and tell me to go check Facebook, OR post passive aggressive status updates aimed at me (or the rest of the world).
I might get back into Facebook if there was a way to hide myself completely from any co-workers. But I don’t trust Facebook not to just up and change their security one day!
July 14th, 2010 at 1:35 pm
I set up controls and made a group for old teachers/church people/some family and put them all in a group called censored. and they don’t have access to my tagged photos or videos and some albums. Do that to your mom!
July 14th, 2010 at 2:26 pm
My mum has been on Facebook for awhile now and she’s friends with me and all my friends! I don’t censor what I say or what I post because of how she’ll react -- in fact, sometimes I LOVE her reactions (especially when I talk about naked vampires on True Blood and things of that nature)! But I do have a friend on Facebook and we post things pretty candidly on each other’s walls, but her mom and dad recently joined and they’re very devout Christians, missionaries, and extremely conservative. So I’ve toned down my posts so as not to offend her in case she reads them.
July 14th, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Hahaha I love the parental controls idea! I was a little panicked when Mr. W’s 12 year old niece became my friend on there. No more funny sexual innuendos in my status…
July 14th, 2010 at 2:55 pm
When my mom joined Facebook, I straight up told her that I wouldn’t approve a friend request.
July 14th, 2010 at 6:21 pm
I’d have to say my mom on FB isn’t a big deal to me. But my grandmother? Yeah, kinda bothers me. Thankfully she’s not a big user. I don’t think. . . .
But my blog? That’s kind of a different story. I have an aunt who I am not close to at all. Who am I kidding? I cannot STAND her. Despise her. She apparently reads my blog which really, really REALLY bothers me. But I don’t want to make it private so I suck it up and deal with it. I also know I have coworkers who often read it so you won’t ever catch me ranting about work on it. Oh well.
July 14th, 2010 at 6:59 pm
My Mom joined FB, but she’s almost never on it…unless I’m overly cranky and she thinks FB updates hold the answer to my grumbliness. Unfortunately, its never the words that get me in trouble…its the hour of posting that tells on me (and then I suddenly feel like I’m 8 yrs old again and pointing at my baby brother and saying, “He did it.”). But, I guess that’s just the give ‘n take factor at play with this very public, online world. Right?! :>:>
July 14th, 2010 at 7:28 pm
part of the reason I stopped using FB as much? My entire family is on there. I know I shouldn’t censor myself to my family but sometimes it’s just easier.
I think I’ll try saying “shut the front door” more. Doubt it will stick but it’s worth a shot.
July 14th, 2010 at 10:24 pm
Haha! That’s awesome! To be honest, I bet you she knows most things about you and loves you no matter what. :)
July 15th, 2010 at 8:37 am
Sometimes it goes the other day. My mom and all of her sisters are on there. Most of my aunts pages are pretty tame and what you might expect — pics of their kids, loca groups, etc. One aunt joined a “Bondage is Beautiful” group. I am pretty sure my jaw hit the floor upon reading that. Some things a niece doesn’t need to know.
July 15th, 2010 at 3:35 pm
I know my Mum reads my blog and that’s weird enough. I can’t imagine what it must be like to get a Facebook friend request from your own mother.
July 21st, 2010 at 10:04 am
This happened to me when I started friending students I have taught over the years. That said, sometimes I’m the one shocked about what they have to say… I guess it goes both ways ;)
July 22nd, 2010 at 5:30 pm
Both my parents have passed on, but I have family that I really don’t care to follow me on Twitter. My sister-in-law asked to follow me on Twitter and I told her upfront that I was open and uncensored. She declined. But I do have her as a friend on Facebook, where I do keep things in check, mostly due to other family members (my ultra religious sister) and a lot of people that I grew up with (also, pretty religious).