Disorder

by Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks on April 25, 2012

source

Last week, I read a (not very convincing) article on the rising trend of unmarried cohabitation and the downsides of living together before marriage. I had a big post drafted about my own experiences with premarital cohabitation and was all set to reject the author’s point through my own positive experiences. But, then the author went and made a mess of the article by linking to studies that contradict her point of view. As I said, a not very convincing article.

What I’d rather focus on is the New York Times and its personality disorder. I’m serious. Because, if you’ll remember, not so long ago, the very same newspaper wrote an article about how people who live alone are weird. And now they’re suggesting that living with a partner before marriage is a recipe for disaster. So, if living alone is a no no and living together before marriage is a no no, what the hell is a yes yes? Are we now supposed to get married right after college, so we never live alone or cohabitate without the ring? What is this, 1950? Good grief!?

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Lisa of Lisa's Yarns April 25, 2012

Ha, yah the NY Times seems to have a personality disorder! That’s a good point about it being weird to live alone, but wrong to live together before marriage… So who are you supposed to live with?

That article about single people still bothers me to this day! I just hate the picture they painted of single people who live alone!

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Lisa April 25, 2012

I think living on your own is something everybody needs to do — and I’m not just talking about living with roommates during college, I mean getting job and living on your own. If I hadn’t done it, I wouldn’t be who I am today.

Don’t you think all “news” is getting cray zee? They’re just trying to get a reaction or sell papers/pageviews.

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Ris April 25, 2012

I hated that NYTimes article about cohabitating before marriage. They made every unmarried couple sound like complete idiots, and totally played into what I think of as romantic comedy stereotypes–she wants to move in to hurry along a marriage she so desperately wants, he begrudgingly agrees so she’ll get off his back, their relationship ultimately doesn’t work out. I mean, really? Who did you interview for this article, characters in a Judd Apatow movie?

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Brian April 25, 2012

What is the NY Times? IS this 1950?

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kilax April 25, 2012

I am totally in the “live together” prior camp. (I did not read the article)

The NY Times has a lot of conflicting exercise articles too. They crack me up. I love it when one gets out of control and everyone goes bizerk over it!

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Marie April 25, 2012

I stopped reading the NY Times a few years ago (except for maybe an interesting article that will pop up once in a blue moon, if that, which a friend will send me the link to). This is stupid nonsense. Or really garbage. They sound like a GOP mouth piece with this kind of writing.

Also? I personally think it’s better to live with someone before marriage (if the couple even wants to get married).

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Nora April 25, 2012

I have had two experiences with cohabitation with a significant other. One of them didn’t work out and while we didn’t live together 100% of the time, I had given up my apartment and had planned to move in with him. Fortunately things went south before I moved EVERYTHING in but still the separation of stuff was tough. In that instance, though, the living together taught us a lot so it was better for us to find out sooner rather than later.

And then my current situation. You know most of the situation already so I won’t go on and on but I think it’s been SO good for us to live together. We have learned a lot about each other, how we work together, communicate. We have learned to take cues from one another, as in, to know when we need alone time vs more attention, etc. Maybe it’s because I was one of those so-called “weird” people who lived alone for a few years and that’s why cohabitating is working for me now, who knows. Either way, I don’t think it’s fair or right to say that it’s not ok to cohabitate, or to live alone, or to eat upside down, or whatever it is that works for us as individuals. /end rant :)

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San April 25, 2012

I guess, they want you to live with roommates ;) (which I thought was a pretty modern thing….)

I actually believe that it’s pretty healthy to live on your own for at least a little while. It really shapes one’s personality to be able to stand (and live) on your own two feet. The NY times obviously has some really weird editors in charge right now.

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Amber April 25, 2012

Hahahaha about the NYT having a personality disorder.

I couldn’t imagine marrying someone, or even getting engaged, without living together first! Mine and Eric’s relationship has grown and changed SO MUCH since we started living together and even moreso since we bought a townhouse together. That’s just me though!

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alexa @ cleveland's a plum April 25, 2012

that image reminds me of my favorite book, the giving tree.

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Christina April 25, 2012

I am so glad that we lived together before we got married. You learn so much about a person when you live together and the escape clause is a bit easier when you are not married. But overall it was a good experience and we ironed out our kinks and learned to become a team

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Alice April 27, 2012

omg those articles BOTH made me all ranty and shouty. YES ALL WOMEN WHO LIVE WITH THEIR BFS END UP MARRYING THEM BECAUSE THEY’RE TOO LAZY TO BREAK UP WITH THEM EVEN IF THE MARRIAGE IS A TERRIBLE IDEA arrghh.

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Mel Heth May 1, 2012

Uh I think a lot of people who lived with their parents and then go right to living with husbands – never experiencing living on their own – usually end up feeling like incomplete individuals. I think everyone needs to live on their own at some point!!!

I’m too swamped to read both articles right now but I love you for educating us on this kind of stuff. :)

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