The other day, I had a conversation with Gavin that went something like this:
Me: What’s in your diaper?
G: Poop.
Me: Let’s change your diaper right now.
G: Why?
Me: Because when the doctor comes in, he’s going to want to look at your penis and balls and we want them to be clean.
{cooperative silence}
Lately, we’ve been having a lot of conversations with Gavin about his penis and balls. Not because he’s showing a heightened awareness of them or anything like that. But, because he’s going to have a minor surgery on them and we have been trying to prepare him for this hospital visit the best way we know how.
Gavin was born with a condition called a hydrocele. In layman’s terms, it means he has a hernia in his scrotum and has lots of extra fluid in his balls. One might think this condition was due to Gavin’s premature birth at 31 weeks, but in fact, it’s a common condition in full term babies, too.
Clearly, by all my posts about Gavin over the past two years, this has had a major effect on his quality of life (not) and development (not) and overall happiness with the world around him (not). I kid. Although there can be serious complications from this condition (think: intestines dropping into places they don’t belong), it is not something that has held him back in his first two years.
Speaking of two years, that does seem like an awfully long time to wait to schedule this procedure, right? Kind of like we’re tempting fate by ignoring the condition? Well, the human body has a funny way of healing itself. And, sometimes, hydroceles can correct themselves, which usually takes place by the time boys turn two. We saw a urologist when Gavin was a year and, at the time, she suggested we wait to see if the hydrocele corrects itself. We went back to see her a few weeks ago, when she agreed that the hydrocele is still present and the surgery should be scheduled.
Thankfully, Sweets works at the hospital where Gavin’s procedure will take place, which means he did a lot of hand-picking. He hand-picked the urologist (and she’s been great so far). He hand-picked the anesthesiologist and nurse, both of whom are eager to take Gavin’s case. He hand-picked what time to schedule the surgery. And together, we strategically hand-picked which day the surgery would take place.
So, that’s where we are right now. Counting down the days until next Thursday when Gavin will have his balls fixed (yes, that’s pretty much what we’ve been telling him). So far, I haven’t put a lot of thought into the surgery itself (i.e., save those feelings, girlfriend), mostly because I trust we’re in good hands. But, the other day, I got a bit sad thinking about how scared Gavin is going to be. That sadness surfaced when I saw his reaction to going to his pediatrician’s office for the pre-op appointment.
He didn’t want to go anywhere near his doctor’s office. He preferred to wait in the medical building hallway while I went into the pediatrician’s waiting room to sign in. When I pointed out the kids’ corner with a bunch of toys, he shrugged and stayed put. I told him he could have a granola bar if he’d sit in one of the chairs. I was met with total indifference. Trying to bribe him with a granola bar and a view out the big windows was met with an adamant NO. I had to sweep him up, carrying him over to the big windows (in the waiting room) before he settled down with a granola bar.
You can only imagine the response I got when our name was called and it was time to go to the exam room. (In case you’re wondering, he ran the other way.) He cried and squirmed when the nurse weighed and measured him. Ironically, he was utterly charming when the doctor took a look at his penis and balls. I have no expectation that he’ll be quite that adorable when it’s time to head to the operating room next week.
In fact, I’m reminded of the last time I had surgery, which was my emergency cesarean section for Gavin’s birth. Just before I was knocked out, you better well believe I was scared (I also happened to be in a hell of a lot of pain, which led to a lot of screaming). I also remember coming out of anesthesia. I felt so drowsy and loopy. I remember Sweets being by my side, showing me photos and a short video of Gavin. I remember wanting to be more awake, but my body just wanting to sleep (which is exactly what I did).
I’m going to have to remind myself that surgery is scary for adults, so we should definitely expect big emotions from our toddler when it’s his turn. For now, though, I find peace knowing Sweets will be able to accompany him to surgery and hold his hand until the anesthesia sends him into sweet dreams.
Have you or a loved one ever had surgery? Were you (or your loved one) scared to be put under anesthesia? What was it like coming out of anesthesia?
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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
So glad he’ll be in great hands. The great thing about kids is that they recover so much more quickly than we do as adults.
There have been 2 emergencies surgeries in my life in the last year. One was my emergency c-section, which was much as you describe, except I wasn’t in pain. I didn’t have time to be scared because it happened so quickly (less than 20 minutes from being hooked up to the monitors to having him out!). I woke up very groggy. I’m told I got about 45 minutes with Quinn before they transferred him, but I remember about 5 of them. It’s sad to not remember my first moments with my baby.
The other was my husband having an emergency appendectomy when I was 5 months pregnant. I think it was scarier for me, since I had to listen to informed consent (i.e. “you might die”) while I was pregnant. He was scared, but he was also in a lot of pain, so he was ready for it to be done. Sorry for the novel comment!
I don’t know what, but I can’t stop giggling at the phrasing of “penis and balls”. Clearly, I’m 5.
Gavin will be fine. What is he scared of? Having to be put under? The pain? I never really thought about this from the vantage point of a 2 year old. I guess I would’ve just assumed they wouldn’t really “get” what was going to happen, so there wouldn’t be fear.
I’ve had surgery. The biggest was my kidney transplant and for that I chose the oh-so-stellar strategy of denial. I just didn’t think about it, research it, anything, before the surgery. I thought I was going to go in that morning, have it, wake up that evening, and watch the latest episode of West Wing. Easy peasey.
Needless to say it wasn’t quite that easy, and when I had to go back a few weeks later to have a minor procedure to remove a stint I dreaded it with every fiber of my being. It’s still ironic to me at how casually I treated the more major surgery and how terrified I was of a 20 minute outpatient procedure. But, it was all in perspective. Had I not had a major surgery that required a ton of recovery time, I probably wouldn’t have been as afraid of the outpatient surgery.
But, Gavin will do great! And you guys will be so happy when it’s all over and his balls are fixed ;-)
It’s a BLESSING that Sweets has hand picked everyone that’s going to be involved. I’d be so happy knowing that. And it’s a BLESSING that he’ll be there (will you? Maybe just for the beginning but can’t go in with him?). “Save the feelings”….you are right. I’m trying not to cry myself!! Great reminder to yourself to expect big emotions from Gavin when the day comes, just like you said, adults are scared, why should kids be equally if not more? I don’t pray at all these days, but I’d love to pray for Gavin’s safe surgery, quick recovery, and back to those tantrums in no time ;). Oh, and my only surgery was the C section where I was HAPPY to get the needle in my back. I was awake for the whole thing, but coming out of anesthesia was still groggy for me. I don’t remember when I ACTUALLY held J in my arms :(. It’s ok. He’s with me now :)!
Love that Sweets can go in with him (though not as much as you do, I’m sure). Just reading this I started feeling emotions about it and he’s not even mine so I can only imagine how you will be feeling next week. Will definitely be thinking of all of you and wishing for a quick surgery and recovery. So awesome that Sweets has hand-picked everyone, too. Definite perk of working in the hospital!
I have had quite a few surgeries: appendix, tonsilectomy, sinus surgery, and wisdom teeth (yes, I was under for my wisdom teeth), and then another lady associated one. With the exception of my wisdom teeth I have come out of anesthesia crying every.single.time. I always warn the nurses before I go under about it because it is rather startling. I don’t talk or say anything, I just cry for like 20 minutes. No idea why. Even though I am awake and know everything is ok and even though I don’t need to cry, it still happens. It is still rather startling to me and like you all I wanted to do after each one was sleep. Probably more than you wanted to know!
It sounds like you all have lined things up to go very smoothly on the day of Gavin’s surgery, and that will make such a difference I bet! So nice knowing Sweets will be there for Gavin as he goes under anesthesia. Best case scenario, under the circumstances! I am sure that Gavin will do great. Have you looked into any children’s books that relate to kids going to the hospital? I imagine there are plenty, and that might make help make things a little more familiar for Gavin before the actual surgery/procedure. Braden actually freaked out at his 2-year old appointment, and it seemed to come out of nowhere (he always loved going to the doctor). And I mean, he FREAKED OUT. Wouldn’t let the nurses or the doctor anywhere near him, and was genuinely afraid. I got a book about going to the doctor after that, and it’s one of his favorites. It has also helped that he’s gone back to the doctor with us for Ciaran’s appointments (so he can familiarize himself with the environment without worrying about what they are going to do to him).
I have had three surgeries in my lifetime. Honestly, I have no fears about surgery or hospitals. In high school, I had a ruptured appendix that went undiagnosed for three days. I almost didn’t make it, and after an emergency appendectomy I was treated for 2 weeks with peritonitis (infection). Pretty serious. But I remember going into surgery and being so relieved that they finally figured out what was wrong, and all I wanted them to do was “fix” me (and they did). I guess that set the stage for me having faith in my surgeons. The other two surgeries were my c-sections. Certainly not pleasant being awake during the procedure (such a weird feeling), but I think I dread the recovery more than the actual surgery. And, c-sections generally have amazing end results since you are welcoming a new life in to the world, so that makes it all a little more tolerable as well.
I will keep Gavin and your family in my thoughts and prayers next week! I am sure it is going to be tough (especially on mom and dad!), but hopefully the end result means that the condition will be a thing of the past, and you can move on!
As a fellow owner of his own “penis and balls,” I wish Gavin all kinds of luck with this procedure. May he have Jolly Balls after all is said and done.
As for surgery, I was terrified when Katie went under anesthesia and the knife for her c-section. I prayed. And I don’t pray often.
Sorry to compare a kid to my dogs (although I tend to do it a lot!), but I understand how sad you are about Gavin having to go into surgery. The drugs will definitely help and I can’t imagine that he is going to remember the surgery later on in life. At least you can talk to him ahead of time and after the surgery to help him understand what just happened. I felt so bad when Koda had to go into surgery for bloat. She had no idea why she was feeling loopy, no idea why she had a long incision down her chest that she wasn’t allowed to lick, etc.
I wasn’t too frightened of my fibroid surgery. But one it comes time for my c-section I think that I am definitely going to be anxious- more so of the recovery from the surgery!!!
Poor little guy!! I know he’s in good hands and that all will be well, but man what a sucky thing for a little guy (and you guys!) to have to go through. I’ll be sending lots of good thoughts your way.
I had a “good” experience with general anesthesia meaning I didn’t get sick or anything, but I’ve seen my mom come out and feel terrible. My very unscientific guess was that I had breast reduction surgery which is one of the most painless surgeries you can have so maybe they didn’t have me on heavy pain meds right away so my body was able to more gently come of of it’s chemical stupor. Please don’t show that to Sweets because I’m sure an actual medical professional would laugh.
Hope Gavin does well with his surgery and is laughing and hamming it up in no time.
Awwww poor wee boo!! I can’t stand it when kids have to go through stuff like this. So I can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like for a parent see them go through such things. It’s SO awesome (I can’t stress that enough) that Sweets can go in with him. I’m guessing that will make Gavin feel a bit better seeing his dad there.
I was absolutely terrified when I had surgery that my fever spiked (nope, I wasn’t sick) and my blood pressure shot up. Yeah, the nurses, anesthesiologist and doctors had to talk to me to calm me down.
BIG hugs to Gavin!
I was so scared to have anesthesia for my first surgery last summer but I think I knew too much about the risks. He might be ok with it because he doesn’t have all that knowledge? I had my tonsils out at 8 and was super scared to have the surgery but you get through it. Some kids have no problem with it! And like others have said, kids are very resilient. Fear is a natural reaction in these situations and the best we can do is be there for them, try to soothe them, and give them love, right?
Aw, poor Gavin! I am glad that he is in such good hands, though, and that Sweets can be there with him for the prodecure. I’ll be wishing him a speedy recovery. Quite the valentine’s day gift, huh? ;)
I had surgery on my sinuses last January and it was my 3rd time being put under. I was mostly nervous about coming out of the anesthesia because I tend to get really disorientated and cry a lot, which is apparently very normal for females. This time around it actually was not as bad as the other 2. I think they have better drugs now or something? And then my dad had surgery for his prostate cancer last February, a year ago tomorrow, actually. He was under for a good 10 hours and I was in Charlotte so I felt very nervous and sort of helpless as I didn’t want to keep bugging my mom as I knew she was already kind of going out of her mind as the surgery took far longer than they anticipated.
I am glad this will be behind you soon!!
I sure could say that it’s “just a standard procedure” and that “Gavin will be just fine”… but I can imagine that this is a stressful time, for Gavin and yourself!
I am glad Sweets will be able to be there with him for the procedure.
I never had surgery myself (well, a colonoscopy can hardly be called surgery, right? ;)) but I guess I would be a little weary myself.
I am sure it’ll all go well though.
Poor little guy. I am glad that Sweets was able to handpick everyone associated with the surgery. That said, I would likely be terrified and worried beyond belief. Will definitely be sending well wishes and lots of positive thoughts your way. Hope the little guy bounces back quickly. Its amazing that Sweets can be with him for the procedure. I’m very thankful for that.
I’ve had surgeries over the years and coming out of anesthesia is never fun. I get physically sick and cry.
Poor little Gavin. :( I hate anesthesia… but imagine life without it! :-O I am sure everything will be just fine and it will be good to get this done for the little guy… but I’m sure it will be challenging. Good luck!
The only time I’ve ever been under anesthesia I was six years old and getting tubes in my ears. I still vividly remember how it felt to wake up…ugh. Does anyone forget that feeling? I’d like to meet them. That said, I know anesthesia has come a long way in that time and hopefully his experience will be brief. And being a little one, he’ll get lots of extra care. So great your husband can be there with him. I remember going under as well, and the doctor telling me to count, and looking up at the ceiling and thinking how weird it was, but it is over so fast in a kiddo’s mind.
It’s mom’s mind that takes the brunt of the nerves, I think. :) Hugs to you, too. I am sure all will go well and I’ll be thinking of you that day!
Also, maybe it’s because I don’t have a little boy but I giggle at using the word “balls” so nonchalantly. :)
I’m sending you guys some happy, calming thoughts–especially for G! It IS scary, and it feels so helpless to be laying down among strangers. I’m so glad Daddy can accompany him into surgery.
I’ve had three surgeries, twice with general anesthesia: one knee surgery and one laparoscopy for endometriosis. The waking up was not fun. Apparently I blabbered a lot of things I don’t remember, and the shaking from the the anesthesia was very annoying. I know that he will be right next to you when he wakes up. It seems like you all are in good hands, but I totally can relate. After all, anything involving children gets us worked up. Good luck!
Both my kids have had surgery and been put under anesthesia. I will tell you, MUCH harder for mom & dad than for the kids. Emma was 3.5 when she had to have surgery to repair a broken arm (twice). She wasn’t scared at all. We kept our tone very calm and she brought her favorite blanket with her until she fell asleep. We had GREAT nurses and doctors (and we weren’t at a children’s hospital like you will be) who were great with her. Coming out of it wasn’t terrible. She was just groggy and grumpy. Juice helped – they need some sugar. We had a jammie day and watched movies. She was totally fine the next day.
Graham had surgery as a 6 month old for hernia’s on both sides and a hydrocele as well. His hardest part was not eating in the morning (and we were the earliest surgery, but he was a baby and expected to eat when he woke). We held him until he fell asleep and were there to hold him as he woke up. He too needed something to drink fairly quickly. He recovered very fast. Keeping him “still” for 2 weeks until it all healed was the hardest part.
I think the key is not to convey your feelings of worry and scared to them. They shouldn’t be afraid. There is nothing to be afraid of. I wouldn’t give him too much information. I think you will be suprised at how fast he comes out of it. I’ll be sure to say an extra prayer for you guys! The waiting is the hardest.
Oh boy, I am so glad that you were able to hand pick the doctors and know he is in good hands! It’s definitely got to be a very scary experience because I am scared of surgery as an adult. However, I definitely think you will be more scared than he will be, kids are so good about this kind of stuff- especially if you act calm about it to him :) I hope it goes well!
Poor Gav! What a way to spend Valentine’s Day. :( One of the twins I nannied for had hernia surgery when he was little, but I don’t know what kind of a hernia it was. I remember anesthesia being terrible when I had it 17 years ago (tonsilectomy followed by throwing up when I woke) but when Mr. W had his sinus surgery in December, it seemed like they had it figured out pretty darn well! I’ll be thinking about your sweet family tomorrow. I hope Gavin and you and Sweets all hang in there okay!
I am really far behind on your blog and missed this. I am sorry :( But so thankful to see your FB post that he is doing well post surgery! :)