After Baby
Today, I still work at the same job, which I still enjoy immensely. And yet, on many occasions, I’ve lamented early in the week how much I’m looking forward to the end of the week. I mourn the end of the weekend. I drag my feet on Monday mornings. I often succumb to the snooze button. Even though I have a generous amount of vacation time, I wish I had more.

This baby thing has turned my world upside down. I can’t explain the emotional joy I feel at the end of the day when I pick-up Gavin from daycare. When Gavin hears us walk into his room at daycare, he stops what he’s doing. He looks at us with sheer, unfiltered excitement. A smile lights up his face. He crawls over to us and demands to be picked up. He often can’t decide whether he wants to be in my arms or Sweets’, so he’ll demand the other parent the minute one of us gets him in our arms. He begins waving good-bye to his teachers. He smiles. And babbles. And gives us open-mouthed kisses. It’s a loyalty that fills my heart.

Our weekends can be planned to the max or they can be a blank canvas. It matters not what I’m doing. But, rather, who I am with. My days are filled with errands and get-togethers and sitting on the couch and napping … and so long as I’m with Sweets and Gavin, I’m happy. It’s a happy I’ve never felt before. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy when I was the super busy single gal living it up in the city. I wouldn’t trade away that time in my life. But, this time in my life? This time right now? It’s full. Really full. And it makes me yearn and ache for time with loved ones in ways I never imagined possible.

Thank goodness it’s Thursday. Only two more workdays until the weekend!

Are you someone who lives for the weekends? Has any life event ever changed how you feel about the workday versus the weekend?

• GoodBelly. Been starting my mornings with a glass of their probiotic juices. With flavors like blueberry acai, pomegranate blackberry and and cranberry watermelon … oooh, makes my belly sing.
• Chicago Mayor Rahm Emmanuel. I may not agree with everything he’s done since being sworn into office. But, I like that he’s shaking up politics in this city. I like that he’s calling to task city leaders. I like that he’s re-evaluating and sometimes even changing the ways things are done in this town. I like to think we’ll be a better city as a result.
• Vanishing back bras and panties. Good-bye Victoria’s Secret, I’ll never shop with you again. Not when stores like Soma (not to be confused with SoMi) offer no-line bras and panties. Seriously, best things ever!
• Summertime and the grill. Food just tastes better when it’s fresh off the grill. Need I say more?
• Baseball. Taking babies to baseball games, cheering for the hometown favorite and enjoying summertime. Nuff said!
• Baby firsts. Taking the bus, check! Riding the subway, check! Letting baby explore the subway, check! Not contracting any diseases as a result, check! Cheering for our local baseball team, check. And so much fun, too!
• Gavin’s learning curve. Last week, we taught Gavin how to clap and give high fives on command. Seriously, he understood our words AND turned them into action. Be still my beating heart!
• Vacation! Sweets and I have taken a total of 1 day off since the beginning of the year. We are sorely in need of a vacation and that’s exactly what we’re getting. A super long road trip with Gavin that leads to two weeks with family and friends. Beach and sun. Fresh fish and local produce. We cannot wait!*
  * Note to any would-be home intruders: we have a house sitter and dutiful neighbors watching over our place while we’re gone. Don’t even think about it!

There’s no doubt I have a lot to be thankful for in my life. Pretty much everyday, something about my life stops me in my tracks with genuine appreciation for all that I have.

This weekend was a mostly electronics-free weekend.

I opened my camera case, instead of my laptop case.

I picked up my son, instead of the mouse.

I picked up vacation supplies, instead of the TV remote.

I used a lantern, instead of the lights (confession: a blackout forced me to do that)

I sat at a table with friends, instead of at my computer desk.

I spent more time talking with Sweets and interacting with Gavin than I did updating Facebook and drafting blog posts.

And you know what? It felt good. Really good. I consider this weekend practice. Because, when we go on vacation? I plan to be checked out and cannot wait!

And while I truly believe it’s OK, for a little while, to let mom and dad settle into some sort of new routine, I also think it’s important to find time for yourself once you get situated. I’ve been slowly adding me-time since I started working at the beginning of the year. Sweets and I have come to an unofficial agreement that he gets time during the week to go to after-work meetings, to hang with his nursing buds at happy hours and to play volleyball, while I get time on the weekends to do whatever I want. How have I been spending my time, you ask?

• I go grocery shopping. Alone. It sounds like a chore to most of you, but it is glorious for me. I love my time away. Alone. With my own thoughts. And my own lists. And no one to bother me.
• I started running again outside. 2-3 miles, which used to be my bare minimum, is just about all my body can handle right now. I took a break during the blizzard and deep freeze last week, but started running again over the weekend. There is a rush I get from running that I cannot replicate with any other activity. I love it.
• I got manicures and pedicures with my neighbor.
• I watched parts of the Golden Globes and Grammy’s. For the first time in YEARS. Thinking about making a trifecta with the upcoming Oscars.
• Sweets and I went on a mini-date. A trusted family member took care of Gavin while we went to a birthday party.
• I shared a cup of tea with a dear friend, celebrating her big news that there will be a new addition to her family.
• I have been cooking: pot roast and chili (separate recipes) in the slow cooker, black bean soup, lots of grilled cheese and a replication of my mom’s recipe for chicken breasts with prosciutto and cheese.
• I spent an evening with a woman from our birth class – it was the first time we saw each other since class, so we spent hours comparing birth stories and life as mommies since.
• I visited with a girlfriend who is moving to London in a few short weeks.
• I hung out with one of my besties over dinner and dessert.
• I went to a cloth diaper party, not to purchase cloth diapers, but to ask some pointed questions about our own experience and to maybe meet a few other new moms.
• I’ve read a couple magazines; granted, two of them were parenting-oriented magazines, but I made time to read, nevertheless. Plus, one was a new-to-me photography magazine that was really, REALLY cool.

Oh and I’m not done. I have plans on the books. Fun plans.

• An upcoming visit with a girlfriend who wants more time with Gavin.
• A date with one of my niece’s mamas to take a Bikram yoga class (I think).
• Brunch with dear friends I haven’t seen since before Gavin’s birth.
• Plans to see my nieces and aunt, hopefully at the same time.
• A coffee date with another dear friend, who is expecting her first babe next month. I’m hoping to go through some of Gavin’s things that he’s already outgrown to pass along to this mama-to-be!
• Two dates with Sweets (yet to be planned), thanks to babysitting IOUs from some of Sweets’ nurse friends at work and my parents during their next visit.
• Intention to sign up for a spring half marathon, meaning those 2-3 mile runs will not only become mainstay staples in my schedule, but will increase in time and distance!

And let’s not forget, we’re counting down the days until Gavin is free! April 1st. It just so happens my parents will be in town visiting that weekend. We have BIG plans for Gavin to meet all of his cousins. A field trip to a museum. There will be lots of firsts that weekend. Which will lead to a summer of firsts (Cape Cod and Boston trip in the works!). And while yes, this does pull this post about me in a direction towards my kid, that’s OK. Because, having a child no longer on lock-down will be so freeing for his parents, too! My life will dramatically improve. I can’t wait, but in the meantime, I will continue to enjoy my time in small bits and pieces.

Whether you’re a parent or not, it’s important to take time out for yourself. What’s something you’ve done for yourself or have planned for yourself??? And don’t worry, I’m posting some updated photos of the kid. You can stop holding your breath now. =)

]]> http://somispeaks.com/2011/02/15/self-3/feed/ 29 http://somispeaks.com/2010/09/29/math-2/ http://somispeaks.com/2010/09/29/math-2/#comments Wed, 29 Sep 2010 09:09:56 +0000 SoMi's Nilsa http://somispeaks.com/?p=3962 your issue. But, what happens when someone else's issues far outweigh your own - what to do then?]]> Scene: You have an issue. A topic you feel is worthy of serious discussion. Something that bothers you. Something that needs explaining or reasoning or apologizing from someone else. However, the recipient of this potential conversation has much bigger issues they’re dealing with. You (a) proceed with conversation as planned, (b) proceed with conversation, only lessen the blow or (c) avoid the conversation altogether.

I think most of us who are armed with a sensitivity gene tend to proceed cautiously or even give up broaching the topic altogether. I know I do. When a friend has a new baby, the last thing I want to do is make them come to me when I’m not feeling well, even though I could use some TLC. When someone in my life is dealing with disease, complaining that their care provider is being insensitive to others seems petty and immature. When someone I know is dealing with a job loss, bitching about my own work situation seems, well, insensitive at best.

When I think about whether discussing the topic is worthwhile or not, I almost always take into consideration the other person, what they’re going through and whether they’ll be receptive to the conversation. And it’s not always such a bad thing. It often allows me to frame the conversation just right, so I can get my point across and it will be well-received.

However, there are times (such as those listed above) when the recipient is dealing with big stuff and no matter how I phrase what needs to be said, I’ll still come off an ass. It’s those times I tend to avoid the conversation by postponing it until another time. The thing is, then I’m stuck dealing with something that could be easily resolved through a quick conversation. Not only does it put the onus on me to carry the weight, it also begs the question of whether my issues are as important as someone else’s. Just because someone else has a lot on their plate shouldn’t mean I’m not allowed to have issue with them or the way they’re conducting business or their life.

It’s a tricky balance. There are times when I’ve successfully navigated those waters and other times when I’ve belly-flopped on my face. Have you ever run into a situation where something bothers you, but the person causing you grief is dealing with someone so much larger that you change how you deal with the issue?

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