Recently I have been reading about a bit of dissatisfaction with the social media world. First, Nora talked about how her blog identity has had to evolve as real-world stuff has taken her in different directions. Then, LaMidge talked about how blogging isn’t fun anymore, because people are far too into branding themselves and discounting her for her genuine pleasure in writing only. Next, I read a post Peter wrote about a time when blogging was  genuine, unaffected, honest, raw, worth reading. Finally, I read an article in The Atlantic titled, Is Facebook Making Us Lonely? A number of the points in the article seem to apply equally as well to other social media outlets (blogging, Twitter):

Personalized messages are more satisfying than “one-click communication” – the lazy click of a like [button]

Non-personalized use of Facebook—scanning your friends’ status updates and updating the world on your own activities via your wall—correlates to feelings of disconnectedness

A widely reported study showed how believing that others have strong social networks can lead to feelings of depression … Everybody else looks so happy on Facebook, with so many friends, that our own social networks feel emptier than ever in comparison

Facebook users have higher levels of total narcissism, exhibitionism, and leadership than Facebook nonusers. In fact, it could be argued that Facebook specifically gratifies the narcissistic individual’s need to engage in self-promoting and superficial behavior.

Finally, Sandra wrote an interesting post that talked about blogging and connecting with other people. One line, in particular, hit a sweet (or sore?) spot with me. She said:

I’ve never felt so welcome and connected and ignored and disconnected at the same time as I have felt through blogging.

Spot on, sister, spot on. I’m pretty sure this one sentence sums up the way I’ve felt about blogging, in particular over the past year. It’s been a year in transition for me. I took a pretty serious break from blogging when Gavin was born and spent many weeks in the NICU. It took quite a few months after Gavin came home from the hospital before I found my blogging mojo again.

But, before I talk about today, let’s go back to the time before Gavin when I blogged every day of the week, had consistent interactions with readers, was actively participating on other blogs. I really did feel connected and welcomed. I was meeting other bloggers in real life and even forming friendships with some of them outside our blogs. Blogging was a fun outlet for me – life was good.

However, everything changed when Gavin was born prematurely. I was posting less often, writing because I needed to write about my feelings and journey, and rarely leaving comments on other people’s blogs. Heck, I rarely responded to comments y’all left on my own blog. Because my time to read blogs was more limited than before, I narrowed down the list of blogs I read. As a result, I lost a lot of those connections with people in the blog world.

It took a good year for me to feel like I was back on my feet in both real life and in my commitment to blogging. In the last six months, I realized I no longer craved the quiet I needed when Gavin was first born. I began yearning for the banter and energy from the blogging community that I remember feeling a couple years ago. Some of my internet pals were still hanging around (and it was really great to reconnect with them). Others had moved on (I tried not to be sensitive about this). But, it wasn’t enough; it wasn’t the same. There was a gap I needed to fill; and, I knew I’d have to redefine what I was looking for, because I was in a different place this time around.

I started to seek out new blogs to read. Life blogs. Mommy blogs. Blogs of people who seemed interesting and engaged. I was genuinely excited about connecting with people. Not just reading their blogs, but commenting, receiving responses to my comments, starting a dialogue. I can’t tell you how many times my attempts to connect with some of these bloggers fell on deaf ears. It was (and continues to be) during these times that I felt ignored, disconnected and unwanted, as if I was throwing words against a brick wall, only to have them bounce right back to me. I’m not sure what’s different this time around, but it feels oh so different, oh so less personal, oh so “I’m only interested in you if you can do something for me.”

This quest to find my new place in the blogging world continues. So far, I’ve been so very lucky to stumble across Kyria and Lisa and Judy and Lucy. And then, something happened. As I was drafting this post, and concluding with hope about finding new blogs, something happened. A movement, if you will.

Peter realized he wasn’t the only blogger who missed the days of old. He realized there is still a need for real, genuine writing that lacks the concern of advertisers, SEO rankings, key word indexing and whatever else bloggers are doing today to market their brand. He spearheaded Pooping Rainbows (yes, that’s the name, don’t fight it!), a blog devoted entirely to great writing by a group of pretty incredible bloggers who have been on the scene for years (some are even coming back out of retirement!). Each blogger contributes one post a month, so it’s low maintenance for each blogger, but will hopefully turn into a really wonderful collection of written pieces. The blog launched earlier this week, so you can check out some writing so far. I’m honored and really humbled to be a part of the mix. Check them out and add them to your daily reads, if you’re so inclined!

What are your expectations of blogging and has the blogging world ever challenged those expectations? Who are your favorite bloggers that you’ve actually connected with beyond your blog? Yes, I’m gonna stalk them for a bit to see if I want to make a connection with them, too!

I’ll admit, at first I was a little nervous. I’ve never spent a day baking a ton of cookies. And Nora? Has a family tradition of making cookies around this time of year. So, not only was I attempting something new, but I was replacing a day Nora normally spends with family. No pressure, kids, no pressure.

Not surprisingly, we had a blast. Nora brought three tried and true recipes while I contributed one new recipe. She got started right away and I sort of took a bit to warm up (let me use chasing Gavin as an excuse for my failed focus during the first recipe).

First up, peppermint fudge. The recipe is Nora’s family secret, so I’ve been sworn to not reveal the details. But, I can share with you that we made the boys help smash peppermint sticks. And then, voila, it was ready. It’s kind of ridiculous how easy the recipe was. It took about 15 minutes to make two batches. I’m not kidding.

Don’t mind the TERRIBLE flash on these photos. We couldn’t quite figure it out … and it’s not like cookies sit around waiting to be photographed – they disappear (into our tummies) after too long!

Next up, these oooooey, goooey oatmeal, chocolate chip, caramel bars. Again, not my recipe to share. But, it was fun pulling out the Kitchen Aid Mixer to make these bars of yumminess. Of course, I couldn’t pull my face away from eating these bars long enough to take a photo of the finished product. Fail!

I think the third recipe was my favorite. Chocolate covered pretzel rods. There really isn’t a secret to this recipe. Pour melted chocolate over pretzels. Add sprinkles. Let chocolate set. The recipe was super easy. And I love the sweet and savory combination of the salty pretzels and sweet chocolate.

Our last recipe for the day was salted caramel cookies. I saw the recipe here and kind of had to try it. I’ll admit, there were a lot of steps. Nora and I agreed it’s one of those recipes that we’d have to try a couple more times to work out the kinks. But, you guys, holy cow. Sugar cookies. Homemade caramel. A sprinkle of sea salt on top? Even the imperfect batch of cookies melt in your mouth. AHHHHHHMAZING!

I’m not gonna lie. My feet really hurt after standing all afternoon. My belly especially hurt after trying, well, trying everything (at least once, if not more than once). It was exhausting. But, it was so much fun. And, I think I passed Nora’s litmus test, because I’m pretty sure I heard her agree to making this an annual get together with us in years to come! Talk about a big WIN for us!

]]> http://somispeaks.com/2011/12/13/cookies-2/feed/ 14 http://somispeaks.com/2011/12/02/linky/ http://somispeaks.com/2011/12/02/linky/#comments Fri, 02 Dec 2011 09:22:03 +0000 SoMi's Nilsa http://somispeaks.com/?p=5171 I didn’t want to end this week with a couple super duper heavy posts. But, I’m kind of spent – my brain is fried. So, I’m gonna let some others do the talking for me today.

This. And if you need a clue before checking it out, think widespread death from the plague-like diseases returning after years of eradication.

OK, that wasn’t entirely fair. I mean, I leave you with heavy posts this week and then send you to another heavy post? My apologies.

How about this. Rants from Mommyland talks about the 10 worst children’s gifts to give for the holidays. I think we should expand it. Because, there are easily the 10 worst gifts to give a boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, relative, best friend, boss and so on.

But, let’s not be Debbie Downers here. I mean, the holiday spirit is supposed to be about love, peace, good health and giving. So, how about this (baby edition) and this (toddler edition). I Like Beer and Babies talks about her favorite baby items and best toddler gifts. We use a lot of the baby items and already have some of the toddler items on Gavin’s wish list for the holidays. Plus, I pretty much love her for introducing us to the Ona Block, because we’ve recently been struggling to keep Gavin’s diaper pail smelling like roses.

And speaking of the holiday spirit, how about this. Sweets and I have recently been thinking a little more about how we want to blend traditions from Chanukah and Christmas. One idea I like is an advent calendar. And there are some beautifully creative, non-sugar options on Etsy! Like this one, that I kinda, maybe, sorta just purchased!

Speaking of holidays and gifts, our holiday gift to each other this year involved mama taking one for the team. Sweets has a 6-year old an ancient Apple laptop. He’s been whining about how slow the internet connection is (true) and begging for an iPad. We finally agreed it would be our gift to each other, though Sweets’ inscription on the back pretty much tells the whole story: “Dad’s iPad … hands off!” He’s so giddy about his new toy – it makes me happy for him. Of course, he’s been tinkering around, figuring out what apps he wants. He found one app that I absolutely love (and could download for my iPhone). It’s called Pulse and it pulls headlines from a host of news sources. You can customize it to follow your favorite newspapers and magazines. It’s a great way to capture a quick glimpse of what’s going on in the world around me!

Of course, I can’t leave this linky love post entirely up to others, because that’d be so lazy of me! So, I’ll tell a quick story about Gavin. Earlier this week, he was trying to figure out how to get under our kitchen stools. After a couple tries where Sweets guided him a bit, Gavin totally got it. And spent the next 10 minutes climbing in and out from under the stool. Of course, I waited until the last minute to record it, but I did get a clip of Gavin’s adventures. For whatever reason, Vimeo’s embedding script isn’t coming through on the blog. So, if you want to see the video, go here.

Alright, alright. I think I’ve given you enough to read and think about for a Friday. I’m turning off comments today. Not because I don’t love you. But, rather, because I want you to give these other bloggers some love. Plus, I’m not connected to the interwebs today or this weekend at all, so I won’t get to return your love and that’s just no fun!

Happy weekend, y’all!

I think Gavin took his first steps.

I laughed and said, it’s not official until mama sees him take his first steps. But, really, go ahead and tell me what you think you saw. =)

So, Sweets proceeds to tell me that Gavin was standing a bit away from him. Sweets encouraged him to walk. And Gavin did!

To make sure what Sweets said was true, I had Gavin stand without holding onto anything and I took a couple steps back. I encouraged him to “walk, Gavin, walk.” And he came walking right towards me. It’s official, our baby took his first steps.

It should be noted that I think two things contributed to Gavin walking towards me. First, he’s been doing a pretty good job of standing on his own without holding onto anything for a couple weeks. And, second, whenever Gavin holds onto our fingers and we guide him through walking, we always talk to him using the word WALK. “Walk, Gavin, walk” or “let’s walk over there.” I think he recognizes the word walk and knows what it means, so we can encourage him to walk towards us and he knows how to turn that into action. I think it also helps that if he’s standing on his own, he doesn’t have to steady himself as he’s walking towards us.

The rest of Saturday entailed going to the first birthday party of Gavin’s preemie twin (friends of ours were due 2 days before me and gave birth 2 weeks before me … we spent many days texting one another while we were each in our respective NICUs and many late nights texting once babies came home … to this day, we check in with each other weekly to see how our babies are doing, how the mamas are doing and to ask for input, advice, reassurance, or whatever it is we need based on what’s going on in our lives). We also had dinner at the house of our friends who got married a few weeks ago.

Sunday, I made Gavin show me again that he could indeed take steps on his own (he can). We went to music class in the morning. I made a HUGE batch of chili and delivered some to this beautiful lady (who just had a baby) and her family. Oh yeah, I might have also gifted her an old-school bell … you know, the kind you’d find on shop counters … for her to ring when she needs hubby or son to get her something. heheheh. By the time I got home, dear friends had stopped by to say hello.

And then, well, then we crashed. Only, I couldn’t really crash. Because, Gavin decided to have a TERRIBLE night of sleep. The kind where he’s up crying an hour after we put him down. The kind where I feed him another bottle (and he eats all of it) and he’s still not happy. The kind where I finally put him in the guest bed and let him roll around until he tires himself out and falls aleep … at two in the morning. Ooooooh weeeeee, Monday was a rough day.

Don’t laugh (yeah, right – go ahead and laugh), but we actually think beans are contributing to restless nights of sleep. It seems like any time we eat tacos or chili, he’s up complaining. Guess his belly hurts just like ours does when the gas is turning the corner.

But, it matters not. My baby is on his way to entering toddlerhood!

Topix started off as a news aggregater in smaller communities. However the website also allows anonymous posting/commenting, which as it turns out, encourages people to gossip about one another and often speak of lies as truths. Speaking about the anonymous use of Topix, one small town mayor said, “If names had been put on and tied to what has been said, there would have been one killing after another.”

I beg to differ. If I were to be quoted, it would rather look something like this: “If names had been put on, then people would think twice about spreading nasty rumors and gossiping about their friends and neighbors.”

Wouldn’t you agree? We see this kind of behavior all the time in bloggyland. Generally speaking, bloggers who are “known” by friends and family provide a certain amount of self-censoring prior to publishing a post, because these bloggers know they are open to criticism from their family, friends and community. “Anonymous” bloggers tend to think no one can find them, that no one knows who they are, and are often comfortable speaking more freely about people in their lives. Gossip and anonymity go hand in hand.

We see it in blog readership, too. When readers are required to sign in or to leave a name and email address, comments tend to be more respectful of the writer and other readers. Readers don’t always have to agree, but in my own experience, they tend to write about their own experiences (and why they conflict with what the blogger is suggesting), instead of being critical of the blogger themselves. Anonymous commenters more frequently feel they have the freedom to attack writers and other readers. Often, the nastiest comments I have seen come from anonymous comments. There is often a lack of sensitivity in what is being said and to whom it is being addressed.

How do you feel about the known versus anonymous elements of social media?