When I was a young single gal, my life was so full, it wasn’t uncommon that I’d have 6-8 weeks worth of weekend plans. My friends made fun of me, joking I was harder to see than a celebrity hair stylist! As I rounded the turn into my 30s, I relaxed a bit with the planning. I still managed to have a full life, but I left more room to be spontaneous with plans or to do nothing at all.

Gavin’s premature birth served as a great calendar-cleaning mechanism. Talk about an easy out for pretty much everything. Sorry, we won’t be able to make those dinner plans as we’ll be in the NICU with our son. Then, when Gavin came home from the hospital, we were on strict orders to keep him away from pretty much everyone. By the end of the winter, we had spent a good six months in captivity. No plans. No commitments. Nothing. And I was climbing the walls.

So, in April, when we got the go-ahead to begin introducing Gavin to friends and family, it didn’t take long to fill our calendar. People were lining up at our door to meet him. And doing everything in their power to get us out of the house. It worked! Our calendar has been overflowing ever since.

To keep these plans organized, I’ve always valued a good calendar. Back in the early days of my adult life, I used a Palm Pilot. I had a love-hate relationship with it. Loved the ease of the digital world. Hated that I couldn’t see a week or month at a time mapped out. I’m a visual kind of gal. I need to have it all laid out in front of me.

So, when my first Palm began a slow death, I ditched it for … A PAPER PLANNER. That’s right. I stepped back in time and went back to paper. And, you know what? I haven’t regretted it one bit! For the last few years, I have loved my Papaya Weekly Planner. The colors and designs are GORGEOUS (eye candy!) and the amount of space for each day was perfect for what I like to spell out (plans, birthdays, anniversaries, other important events). These planners also have a couple pockets for me to store stamps and other random items. Oh, and coming in at under $25, the price was always right!

But, I’ve been hearing a lot of banter about Erin Condren products lately, in particular her life planners. After carefully looking at her website, reading about how the planners are organized and reviewing her designs, I decided to make the leap. These planners are straight forward and the kind of organized I like. Mind you, her planners are twice as much as what I was spending before ($50 each), so my expectations were high.

Did I mention you can customize certain elements of these planners? The outside design was pre-made, but I got to choose the names and colors. I’m kind of in love with the gray and orange color combination!

I got my planner in mid-December and immediately put it to use. So far, my expectations have been met. I like that each day has specific space for Morning, Afternoon and Evening. That each week has a few lines to jot down Goals and To Do’s. That each month has a summary to reference when making long-term plans. I like that there’s plenty of room in the back to jot down important phone numbers. I like they provide stickers to highlight important dates, such as parties or trips. I like the folder and pouch at the back for things like receipts and stamps (and in my case, goofy family photos).

How do you keep track of your life – mind over matter? Digital over paper? Fly by the seat of your pants? =)

The opinions in this blog post are solely my own, based on my own experiences with Erin Condren. I paid for my own Erin Condren daily planner and I have not been compensated to say nice things about that organization. So, take that!

And then Gavin happened.

And I became an Amazon convert. I signed up for Amazon Mom and started using Subscribe and Save options. Next thing you know, I’m getting 30% off goods I use everyday and 2-day shipping and it was wheeee, so much fun! So easy, I didn’t have to leave the house. Because all this stuff was delivered to my front door!

Needless to say, I’m on a first-name basis with our UPS delivery man. His name is Bruce. You think I’m kidding? Ask my neighbor. Just the other day, I was taking SoMi for a walk and saw Bruce down the street. We exchanged cordial hellos. I ran into my neighbor a little while later and she said Bruce mentioned he had just seen me. He knows my first name, too.

I kinda love Bruce. Don’t worry, I’m not jumping the Sweets ship for the man in brown. But, I really do love UPS. Bruce is symbolic for my experiences with that company. Every driver I’ve met has been cordial and nice. They stop to say hello. They learn your name. They take time to ask about your family and summer plans. Not only that, but Bruce trudges up two flights of stairs with my deliveries even though I always try to meet him downstairs. He’s nice like that.

As a related aside, I also used to be buddies with the UPS guy who delivered to my work office. He’d stop by to say hello, even when he didn’t have any deliveries to make. Again, good people.

Every once in a while, something I order online will be delivered by FedEx. And, lawd help me when they come to the door. That’s if they come to the door at all. We have a secured gate/fence around our front yard, so visitors have to be buzzed in. On more than one occasion, FedEx buzzes and then throws the delivery over the fence. By the time I get downstairs, they’re back in their truck moving onto the next location. One time, I came home from work to see a delivery sitting squarely in our front yard. It had likely been there for hours.

When they do actually make it to the door, they often leave things at the bottom of the stairs, without making sure the correct person comes to get them. With that company, it feels so very corporate. It feels like employees have to meet quotas or they don’t get paid. It feels like they’re forced to be jerks just to get the job done. Either that or FedEx has some whacky hiring practices where only the worst will do.

That’s why I vigorously nodded my head YES YES YES (and not in a good way) when I saw this video yesterday morning on the local news. Here, take a look…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKUDTPbDhnA

Because, truth be told, it doesn’t surprise me that a FedEx delivery person would be caught throwing a computer monitor over a fence. Yeah, that’s right. A monitor. With glass. That breaks. Didn’t even bother to buzz the owners. Merry Christmas, eh? Guess the best gift back to FedEx was the homeowner posting the surveillance video on YouTube for all to see. I’ll be keeping track to see whether future FedEx deliveries land in my hands, rather than my front yard!

Yeah, I admit it. My initial reaction was pretty short-sighted. I didn’t know a lot of the details. I didn’t ask a lot of questions. I also didn’t put myself in the shoes of the victims. Or in the shoes of the mothers of those victims (a position I should be able to relate to). I consider myself a pretty level-headed person. I’m not cold hearted (I’m the girl who cries at commercials!). If that was my initial reaction, I’m not surprised that the Penn State students rioted in support of their football coach without fully thinking about the magnitude of this situation. Shame on me. Shame on a lot of us.

I sort of ignored or skimmed over a lot of the articles and Facebook status updates about the story until yesterday when I read an article that changed everything. It was a timeline of events (warning: this article graphically outlines the abuse that was witnessed). This article profoundly affected me.

First, the article graphically outline what was witnessed. With cockroaches, when you see one, it means there are hundreds you don’t see. I kind of feel that way about the known abuse. What was witnessed was horrendous. I cannot begin to imagine the part of this iceberg that remains submerged underwater that has yet to be uncovered. I was sickened reading it.

Then, it laid out how long this trouble has been brewing. Over 15 years that little boys have been suffering. Over ten years since something amiss was reported. Over ten years of knowledge. Over ten years of no action. A decade of nothing to stop the wrong-doing (action does not equal asking the monster to resign in exchange for the University keeping quiet). Over a decade of quietly condoning such horrific behavior through inaction. It’s unfathomable.

The timeline related to how long ago the wrong-doing started also revealed just how many people were involved. How many ADULTS were involved. How many ADULTS WHO DID NOT REPORT TO THE POLICE were involved. We’re talking multiple witnesses (janitorial staff, grad student). Their supervisors. Coach Joe Paterno. The Senior Vice President of Finance at Penn State. The athletic director. The president. Leadership at a non-profit dedicated to helping troubled boys. It’s disgusting to think that these people got so wrapped up in the process of dealing with this situation, that they failed to think about the children. They failed to protect the children. They failed to prevent it from happening again.

The Board of Trustees finally acted this week. Firing the University president and football coach. Based on the long list of people in the know, in a position to do something about this horrific stain on Penn State’s campus, the list of firings should be a lot longer. From what I understand, this is just the beginning. From what I understand, this is also just the beginning of publicly uncovering all the damage Coach Sandusky levied on a young population that looked up to him and the institutions he represented. There are rumblings of a much wider ring of abuse that centers around the non-profit organization Sandusky founded.

If this story had come out a few years ago, I would’ve been sickened. In the past, when I heard about other stories of sexual abuse, I felt bad for the whole situation. I felt bad that sick individuals who feel the need to abuse don’t have the help they need. I felt bad that the lives of our youth were forever changed. I genuinely felt bad. I did.

But, now that I’m a mother? A mother to a young boy? A mother to a young boy who I believe will grow up to be a loving, trusting, kind young man? I can honestly say that I feel different about this latest story. I literally feel sick to my stomach. My heart aches. I tear up as I read the articles and as I sit here composing this post. I am physically reacting to what this monster has done to too many young boys. I cannot fathom anyone trying to inappropriately touch my son, let alone do unthinkable acts to him.

It’s unforgivable what those involved have done (or more importantly haven’t done) at the cost of these young boys. Their youth has been robbed. Their lives have forever been changed. It’s a travesty. I am that mama bear who would do anything to protect her child. And the thought that there are so many things I won’t be able to protect him from? It’s heartbreaking.

I don’t know that there is a conclusion to this story. Not yet, at least. The truths are slowly being discovered and revealed. My reaction to the situation continues to evolve. There’s a lot we all don’t yet know and therefore, it’s hard to predict how we’ll feel by the end. But, this story is too big for me to ignore. I had to say something.

Fussplug.

Mute Button.

Nuby.

Nuk Nuk.

Paci.

Plug.

The Silencer.

Wubanub.

You don’t have to be a parent to know (or guess) that this list represents nicknames for pacifiers. Not every parent offers them. Not every child takes to them. In our house, they were offered and received in kind. Gavin has been using a pacifier since he was a wee little one in the NICU.

It helped with his sucking reflex. It helped him self-soothe. Research shows it helps reduce the likelihood of SIDS. So, we were glad when he took to the pacifier (no nicknames in our house, at least not yet) and have not felt it’s yet time to get rid of it.

Generally speaking, I’m very thankful for the pacifier. I give it full credit for why many of Gavin’s middle of the night cries are muted after a few minutes. I give it credit for calming Gavin into submission during diaper changes, which is one of the few times he tends to lose it. I bow to it during long car rides when it allows Gavin to entertain himself a little longer, before he requires attention from us.

For the first few months, when Gavin was nothing more than a limp sack of potatoes, we were happy to give him a pacifier whenever he wanted one. But, by the time he started to actively play, I noticed he’d automatically reach for the pacifier, grab it and pop it into his mouth. And, while I was pleased with his grabbing capabilities, I felt times of “play” were not times when he needed to soothe himself. And so, we started to use the pacifier in moderation. But, we have no qualms in continuing to use it past Gavin’s first birthday.

And yet, there’s plenty of reasons why kids shouldn’t use pacifiers. Pacifiers delay speech. They mess up teeth. Kids form an unhealthy dependence on them and do not know how to behave without them. Sesame Street deems giving up the pacifier important enough to enact a Put Down the Pacifier Day.

Ummm, yeah. That’s so not for us. We have no immediate plans to get rid of the pacifier. But, when we do, I imagine it will be a gradual process. Instead of marking a drop-dead date on the calendar, I imagine we’ll slowly remove the pacifier from use. Replacing it with stuffed animals or favorite blankets or words or, quite frankly, nothing at all. It will not be dramatic. It will not terrorize our child. It will not involve celebration. I imagine it will just happen, because one day, it will click that Gavin no longer needs the pacifier.

It’s partly why I find this Sesame Street-endorsed day a bit peculiar. Based on what I just said, it would never work for our family. But, even for those families who need a specific date on the calendar to retire the pacifier, why would November 4 work for them? Every family is on a different trajectory, a different journey with their child. It just seems silly to me that the nation band together to get rid of pacifiers on the same day. Plus, wouldn’t that national dumping of rubber plugs overwhelm our landfills? Just saying.

You don’t have to be a parent to have an opinion on pacifiers – what do you think about them? Ever seen an extreme over use of them? For those with children, what were (are) your family’s experiences with them?

When the time came to buy my first condo, my dad gave me very wise advice. He told me to upgrade from what I had in a rental to what I was going to get in a purchase. Two thoughts he had: in-unit washer/dryer and assigned parking (preferably indoors). It was smart advice and I was thankful when I found both in my one-bedroom condo. The next time around, when Sweets and I bought a condo together, there wasn’t much more to upgrade from before other than space (one bedroom to a two bedroom) and the kitchen (basic Formica counters and black appliances to granite counters and stainless appliances).

Last week, I mentioned that one of Sweets’ favorite things to do is to sit in his comfy leather chair, kick up his feet on the ottoman and spend hours perusing homes on Redfin.com. Since we are not in a place to buy our own home right now, this pastime allows us to daydream a bit. What do we want out of a home? More space? Better location? What can we live without (because, let’s face it, we won’t get everything we could possibly want in our price range)? What falls on our must-have list versus our nice-to-have list?

While we have a lot now, there are definite reasons to consider a future move. Space, independence and schools would be the three key reasons to a move. We’d like more living and storage space (=space). We’d like to eventually live in a single family home with our own yard and without the politics of living in a multi-unit building (=independence). And we’d like Gavin to attend public schools with an above-average to excellent reputation (=schools).

Other factors important to our move? Staying within a certain geographic proximity to both our jobs. Moving to a community that has the right feel for us (which is very subjective and somewhat hard to describe). Wanting certain factors important to the home itself, such as 3-4 bedrooms, at least 2 bathrooms, a 2-car garage. We’d love for it to be move-in ready (ok with topical changes, like paint, but do not want a home-renovation project).

It’s easy to start to ramble when it comes to what we’d like. My point? As we look through homes we are not ready to buy, it gives us a chance to see what we can get in our price range and what we will have to learn to live without.

Do you live in your ideal home? What “upgrades” do you look forward to having with your next place?