Saturday afternoon, we had some friends come over for a few hours. Former neighbors who used to live downstairs came with their two (adorable!) sons and current neighbors who share the same floor with us came with their newborn little girl (also, way adorable!). When we first moved into the building almost four years ago, no one had kids. Now, there are four kids between three couples.

Everyone contributed something to the “finger foods and drinks” afternoon. As a result, even after everyone had a few drinks, our refrigerator looked like it belonged at a frat house more than it belonged to a family of three.

The unfortunate part of Saturday was Sweets started to not feel well midway through the day. He tried to power through our get-together with friends, but bailed to our bedroom before they left. I’m pretty sure he didn’t got out of bed until Sunday morning. So, I bathed and read a book to Gavin, tucked him in bed, walked the dog, made myself a cup of tea and read for an hour or so in complete silence. It was lovely.

Saturday night, sir Gavin woke up sometime in the middle of the night (which seems to be a theme lately – I’m chalking it up to a growth spurt). I pulled him into the guest bed. As he was getting comfortable, he looked at me and waved. Because it was dark, I whispered “hi.” He whispered a “hi” right back to me. So sweet!

Sunday, Sweets still wasn’t feeling well. So, Gavin and I went grocery shopping together. We then went to music class without Sweets. It was an insanely full class. Every student from our regular class. Plus two students coming in for make-up classes. Plus, a handful of grandparents (on top of the fact that most kids come with both parents to class). On top of that, there was a substitute teacher (who we generally don’t like, because we are THAT loyal to Gavin’s current teacher), but as it turned out the kids LOVED her (they were flocking to her in droves by the end of the class – she had one of those really annoying squeaky voices that parents hate, but that kids apparently love!).

Gavin took a 3½ hour nap on Sunday afternoon. I actually woke him up, because it was 4:30 and I was afraid that he’d really mess with his nighttime sleep if he slept much later or longer, for that matter. Parents everywhere say, you don’t mess with children’s sleep and there’s a reason for that. Here’s what Gavin gave us in return for waking him up:

And, that’s pretty much how our weekend ended. In the blink of an eye, it was over. But, not before a family walk to a local, old school ice cream shop for some dessert. Mama had Italian Gelato; Sweets had a Pretzel Sundae; and, Gavin had nothing (nor did he ask for any of ours, which was just fine with me – he doesn’t need dessert just yet!). Did you have a nice weekend?

• The laundry room has piles of dirty laundry on the floor and hampers full of clean laundry (makes sense, right?)
• Our kitchen counter is covered with stuff (think bowls of fruit and daycare paperwork and my purse and a box of cereal and another box of cheddar bunnies) that has started to infringe on the ability to actually use it as work space
• Our bedroom has piles of clean and folded clothes on the dresser and dirty clothes randomly strewn about the room (because that hamper where the dirty laundry normally goes is in the laundry room housing clean laundry until we get a chance to fold it)
• Gavin’s room has toys that he never uses all over the floor, because the basket where they used to be housed has been reassigned to hold clean laundry that has yet to be folded. And, let’s not talk about the three bags of clothes, one of maternity clothes that needs to be returned to a friend and the other two full of too small baby clothes that I need to mail to a friend who is expecting her very own bundle of joy.
• The living room, oiy the living room, with unopened mail ravaging our console table, Gavin’s toys and books all over the floor and piles of paperwork/unopened mail on my desk, on the printer, on the windowsill, need I go on?

One of our problems, probably our biggest problem is we lack space. We don’t have a ton of closet space (and what closet space we have is small). We don’t have a basement. We share a garage. All the normal places where you hide stuff, we don’t have them. So, in addition to our stuff being everywhere, we also store stuff in clear sight. There are piles of baby stuff to be donated in our kitchen and baby things we’re no longer using stacked against a wall in our living room.

Anyway back to the article. One of the quotes resonated with me to the point that I pulled up the article again this week. It said:

There’s a difference between “people-live-in-this-house-so-it-doesn’t-look-perfect” messes and “Argh-I-can-never-find-anything-in-this-pig-sty-why-why-why” messes.

It resonated, because most people who have children, at some point have to come to terms with the fact that their house (or part of it) will always be a mess. We learn not to pick up after our toddlers DURING play, instead waiting until they’re done. Then, we ask them to help us clean up (they’re still suckers for putting things away) and move on to the next meal, nap, bath, car ride, etc. We are not surprised when we come home after a long day of work and there are puzzle pieces and stuffed animals in the middle of the floor. It becomes a part of life.

Even though I’m a neat person at heart, I’ve come to terms with those kinds of messes in our house. We cannot get away from them. But, we are verging on becoming disorganized and that drives a stake through my heart. Last week, I couldn’t find Gavin’s birth certificate before our trip (I’ve brought it when we travel with him because, especially when we’ve bought a seat for him, we’ve been asked to provide identification for him). I looked in all the places I thought I could’ve put it, but it was nowhere to be found. Thankfully, I had a copy and thought that would make due for our trip. But, it grated at me that I couldn’t find the original. The day before we left, the original surfaced.

Another example is Gavin’s pacifiers. I’m ridiculously anal about them. We have three in his crib, two by his changing table, one for his stroller, another one for the car and a final one for his diaper bag. See what I mean – I know exactly how many we have and where they belong. If one of them goes missing, I become a neurotic mess trying to locate it. I’m not sure why I’ve fixated so much on his pacifiers. But, I have. And lately, one has gone missing for one reason or another. And I keep myself up at night wondering where it might have gone. It drives me especially mad to know it’s somewhere in our condo, but I just don’t know where. I mean, c’mon, there are only so many places a pacifier can hide in a 2-bedroom home.

I think what makes me crazy about the birth certificate and the pacifier examples is that it’s no longer just a mess. It’s a mess to the point where I don’t know where things are. I’m having trouble locating them when I need them. A mess is just that and can be easily cleaned up. Being disorganized feels like we’re out of control – and if you don’t know me yet, let’s just say I like to take charge of my life. Juggling the mess and trying to stay organized is an ongoing challenge, for sure. Do you have any tips for staying on top of my home life?

And then Gavin happened.

And I became an Amazon convert. I signed up for Amazon Mom and started using Subscribe and Save options. Next thing you know, I’m getting 30% off goods I use everyday and 2-day shipping and it was wheeee, so much fun! So easy, I didn’t have to leave the house. Because all this stuff was delivered to my front door!

Needless to say, I’m on a first-name basis with our UPS delivery man. His name is Bruce. You think I’m kidding? Ask my neighbor. Just the other day, I was taking SoMi for a walk and saw Bruce down the street. We exchanged cordial hellos. I ran into my neighbor a little while later and she said Bruce mentioned he had just seen me. He knows my first name, too.

I kinda love Bruce. Don’t worry, I’m not jumping the Sweets ship for the man in brown. But, I really do love UPS. Bruce is symbolic for my experiences with that company. Every driver I’ve met has been cordial and nice. They stop to say hello. They learn your name. They take time to ask about your family and summer plans. Not only that, but Bruce trudges up two flights of stairs with my deliveries even though I always try to meet him downstairs. He’s nice like that.

As a related aside, I also used to be buddies with the UPS guy who delivered to my work office. He’d stop by to say hello, even when he didn’t have any deliveries to make. Again, good people.

Every once in a while, something I order online will be delivered by FedEx. And, lawd help me when they come to the door. That’s if they come to the door at all. We have a secured gate/fence around our front yard, so visitors have to be buzzed in. On more than one occasion, FedEx buzzes and then throws the delivery over the fence. By the time I get downstairs, they’re back in their truck moving onto the next location. One time, I came home from work to see a delivery sitting squarely in our front yard. It had likely been there for hours.

When they do actually make it to the door, they often leave things at the bottom of the stairs, without making sure the correct person comes to get them. With that company, it feels so very corporate. It feels like employees have to meet quotas or they don’t get paid. It feels like they’re forced to be jerks just to get the job done. Either that or FedEx has some whacky hiring practices where only the worst will do.

That’s why I vigorously nodded my head YES YES YES (and not in a good way) when I saw this video yesterday morning on the local news. Here, take a look…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKUDTPbDhnA

Because, truth be told, it doesn’t surprise me that a FedEx delivery person would be caught throwing a computer monitor over a fence. Yeah, that’s right. A monitor. With glass. That breaks. Didn’t even bother to buzz the owners. Merry Christmas, eh? Guess the best gift back to FedEx was the homeowner posting the surveillance video on YouTube for all to see. I’ll be keeping track to see whether future FedEx deliveries land in my hands, rather than my front yard!

Now, before we go all postal personal on one another, let’s remember. These are my opinions. What works for me might or might not work for you and vice versa. Just because I hate something doesn’t mean I hate you for loving it. =)

Negatives

• Gavin’s high chair is pushed under/against our kitchen island, where a third stool would otherwise be housed. It means less seating for guests.
• No room for a rocking chair. I’m not a huge fan of gliders, but I would’ve gladly used the excuse of Baby to find an old antique rocking chair.
• Gavin’s playroom = our living room. There is no hiding his presence, even if we wanted to.
• Gavin’s bedroom = our guest room. Although we have a solution for housing guests now (Gavin sleeps in a Pack N Play in our room), we will need to come up with other creative solutions as Gavin grows out of this option.
• Gavin’s bathroom = our guest bathroom. It would be nice if he had his own space to hide the toys, children’s towels and such from our day-to-day guests, let alone overnight guests.
• Limited number of bedrooms means they have to serve multiple purposes. We really would like a couple extra rooms for a guest room and designated office space.
• Limited storage space makes it difficult to have too much of anything. Our closets are overflowing, which means visible space becomes storage space, too. We have far too many piles in our home – it’s embarrassing for friends to see.

Challenges

• We needed to choose between a bouncy seat and a swing – we didn’t have space for both.
• We needed to buy furniture that would incorporate a changing table – we didn’t have enough floorspace for a stand-alone changing table.
• Gavin’s closet = my closet. Right now, it’s not a big deal. If we stay in this space for a long time, it will become a problem.
• Our hall closet is so small that there’s barely room to hold our coats. Gavin’s coats have been reassigned to the back of his bedroom door.
• A lack of storage space means we have to keep some small appliances stored on a low, open shelf in our kitchen. We resolved the issue of Gavin playing with the appliances by moving them to the back of the shelf and storing a bunch of his toys in front of them. Gavin can play with his toys while we make dinner and is rarely reprimanded for reaching for the appliances.
• We also have to store our pots and pans on an open shelving system in our kitchen. To prevent Gavin from pulling these heavy items off the shelf (and bothering our downstairs neighbors), we placed a huge, plastic storage bin in front of the shelf. Gavin is allowed to pull placemats off the top of the bin and rarely even notices what’s behind it!

Positives

• Gavin’s stroller acts as double duty. When on the street, it’s a stroller. When being stored in our living room, it acts as a baby gate to prevent Gavin from entering my office (which is a small corner of our living room)!
• No exersaucer! (I know some parents love ‘em, but I think they’re such an eyesore and refused to display one in our living room!)
• Before being handed-down a full-size highchair, we hooked up a travel high chair to our kitchen table. It was such a huge space saver and allowed Gavin to participate in meals with us. Now, it serves as extra seating when friends bring over their babies.
• Even though we live on the second floor, we have no stairs in our condo. We can let Gavin freely roam without worrying that he’s climbing up or down stairs that he hasn’t yet learned to master.
• We can pretty much hear Gavin no matter where he is or where we are in the condo. The only time we use his monitor is when we go to sleep.
• Gavin’s backyard and jungle gym = the public park / playground a few blocks away. I think some people look at this as a negative – it’s true, I won’t be able to just send Gavin out back to play. But, our city parks are amazing and it’s a great way for Gavin to socialize with kids he wouldn’t otherwise meet.
• Having limited space gives us a valid excuse for saying NO to toys or hand-me-downs we don’t like. “Oh, that’s so nice of you, but we really don’t have the room.”

What are the negatives, challenges and positives about your own living space?

When the time came to buy my first condo, my dad gave me very wise advice. He told me to upgrade from what I had in a rental to what I was going to get in a purchase. Two thoughts he had: in-unit washer/dryer and assigned parking (preferably indoors). It was smart advice and I was thankful when I found both in my one-bedroom condo. The next time around, when Sweets and I bought a condo together, there wasn’t much more to upgrade from before other than space (one bedroom to a two bedroom) and the kitchen (basic Formica counters and black appliances to granite counters and stainless appliances).

Last week, I mentioned that one of Sweets’ favorite things to do is to sit in his comfy leather chair, kick up his feet on the ottoman and spend hours perusing homes on Redfin.com. Since we are not in a place to buy our own home right now, this pastime allows us to daydream a bit. What do we want out of a home? More space? Better location? What can we live without (because, let’s face it, we won’t get everything we could possibly want in our price range)? What falls on our must-have list versus our nice-to-have list?

While we have a lot now, there are definite reasons to consider a future move. Space, independence and schools would be the three key reasons to a move. We’d like more living and storage space (=space). We’d like to eventually live in a single family home with our own yard and without the politics of living in a multi-unit building (=independence). And we’d like Gavin to attend public schools with an above-average to excellent reputation (=schools).

Other factors important to our move? Staying within a certain geographic proximity to both our jobs. Moving to a community that has the right feel for us (which is very subjective and somewhat hard to describe). Wanting certain factors important to the home itself, such as 3-4 bedrooms, at least 2 bathrooms, a 2-car garage. We’d love for it to be move-in ready (ok with topical changes, like paint, but do not want a home-renovation project).

It’s easy to start to ramble when it comes to what we’d like. My point? As we look through homes we are not ready to buy, it gives us a chance to see what we can get in our price range and what we will have to learn to live without.

Do you live in your ideal home? What “upgrades” do you look forward to having with your next place?